Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

ELCS for anxiety help needed

4 replies

blacktreaclecat · 14/01/2012 09:09

Hi
I am 15+1 with my first baby after 3 years of losses and ivf. I am under fetal medicine as one loss was a tfmr for t21 and a very poorly baby.
I have always been very anxious about birth and put off ttc for a year because I was so scared. Then I thought, I'll worry about that in 9 months and plunged in. Obviously 3 years later my anxiety levels are so much higher.
I'm really worried about the birth and loosing sleep. I tried watching OBEM last week to try and calm me down but ended up in floods of tears.
I really want an ECS. I know it is slightly more risky to me but have had 4 operations in the last 2 years and that scares me much less than things like forceps and EMCS.
Help

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BillyBollyBandy · 14/01/2012 10:15

Firstly, OBEM is not the programme to watch if you are nervous about giving birth. They pick the more unusual births to make good tv. Be that very loud or very quiet.

If you have a genuine phobia about giving birth then you can argue for an elective cs.

What you need to do is have a chat with the midwife and consultant, who hopefully will be able to go through your fears with you.

I could give you lots of reassurance about it not being as bad as you think, and epidurals and waterbirths lessening pain etc, but if you are anxious that probably isn't going to help.

You really need to talk it through with your professionals and also your dp if you can. You may surprise yourself when you have all the facts to hand and really want to try for a vaginal birth!

Mummageddon1975 · 14/01/2012 10:25

Anxiety can be a very distressing thing to have to deal with however it sounds completely understandable given the circumstances. Often anxiety is born from a fear of the unknown. Make sure you have all of the facts at hand. Talk to your midwife and or obstetrician also your gp, let them know how your feeling. When you feel anxiety arise there are a number of strategies you can apply, relaxation techniques, distraction eg go for a walk, listen to music etc, meditation, cbt, medication the list is endless. Look on the mind website for more info. Accepting your anxiety is key. Try and observe it and remember it will pass. Childbirth can be really stressful so accept all the help there is and give yourself a break. Good luck.

fruitybread · 14/01/2012 11:08

blacktreaclecat, I had an ELCS for my 1st DC a year and a half ago, for psychological reasons (birth phobia). It was a great birth and absolutely the right choice for me. It was on the NHS and involved being referred at my booking in appt to the consultant MW, who referred me to a perinatal psychiatrist, who recommended I have an ELCS, which was then 'granted' by a consultant. Bit of a long route! but I had my ELCS guaranteed at around 20 something weeks and was able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy without being in crippling fear and anxiety every day.

Experiences seem to vary HUGELY across the NHS in terms of being offered an elective CS, and I'm sure others will post here about their experiences. I think a key issue is being taken seriously early on in pregnancy. A lot of MWs come back with an 'oh, everyone gets a bit worried lovey' type response and don't want to refer you to anyone else, or says 'we won't discuss ELCS until you are 38 weeks pregnant' - which isn't true btw. That's when you tend to be given an actual date and booked in (fair enough, silly doing it earlier) - but you can have an ELCS ok'd well before that, like I did.I think I had a good experience because I had an excellent community MW and dealt with a great consultant MW who could see how much trouble I was in.

Anyway - FWIW, it's worth being clear if you (a) would like a VB but are very scared about the prospect so are considering an ELCS instead, or (b) can't bear the thought of a VB to the extent that it is having a negative effect on your mental and emotional health day to day, and are sure you want a CS.

You will get helpful responses here, I hope! You will also get responses from people who do not understand what a birth phobia is and will just try and be generally reassuring about VBS. Kindly meant, but missing the point. Think about the difference between someone with severe depression and someone who's miserable and under the weather. You get the picture.

Obvious points - of course it is worth doing your research. I would be careful to distinguish, when you can, between info about planned CS's and info about emergency CS's. Mostly they are all lumped in together, which isn't helpful. You will get bored of people telling you 'a CS is major surgery, you know!' No shit. If you really want a CS, you may need to be persistent and very clear with your HCPs, be it MW, GP, consultant or the whole lot of them about the scale of your anxiety. If you don't tell them, they won't know and can't help. This is hard as no one wants to talk about things they find very upsetting. If it is easier, write it down and hand them the paper at an appt, telling them you find it very difficult to discuss so you'd rather they read this please. Or, you may find that you have to do very little to get a CS. Like I say, it varies hugely.

blacktreaclecat · 14/01/2012 11:51

Fruitybread
Thank you that is very helpful. I spoke to my community mw about my concerns at booking in, she was actually very sympathetic, I was quite surprised. I am consultant led anyway due to my history. Haven't discussed it with her yet. So far I've seen her at 7,9,12 weeks for scans but it seemed inappropriate as too early and the 12 week one was a big one for us as the nuchal was massive last time (11mm, this time 1.4mm. Last time 1 in 2 for t21, this time 1 in 25000!)
We have another scan at 16 weeks on Thursday, intending to raise it then.
I have read the Nice document cover to cover. One thing I'm wondering about- I have heard vb is safer for me but cs slightly safer for baby but can't find the evidence on this. I only found that cs babies 1% more likely to have breathing probs although as long as cs after 39 wks this is less of a problem. My dates are accurate due to ivf and baby has so far measured right or slightly over.
I would be prepared to pay privately but I live in Yorkshire and there are no private maternity services anywhere around here.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread