Helping daughter with labour/delivery

[atosilis]

My friend has been asked by her DD to go with her to the hospital (DD's partner is on military duty overseas). Any advice on how to be the most help?

For her? I'd say to read her DD's birth plan (if she has one) so that she is clear as to what her DD would like to happen and not to assume that what she liked/wanted in labour is what her DD will want.

To support her daughter's wishes (even if she doesn't agree with them or understand why she wants certain things, perhaps if DD has said she wants to avoid certain types of pain relief, or not want any VEs) and to enjoy welcoming her grandchild into the world!

Find out what kind of delivery she wants, does she want pain relief etc and what kind of pain relief etc.. that way you can help her get the delivery she wants. Ask her what role she wants you to play .

Completely agree with flisspaps.

Oh, and be the bearer of chocolate/ champagne/ pate/ brie (delete as appropriate)

This is a rather good article. There is a 'before' and 'after' one as well as during.

Yes definately what flisspaps said plus make sure that she has a plentiful supply of snacks/food for after the birth. I was so hungry after mine (5pm), but didn't get any toast or tea until 10am the following day (had to phone my mum to bring in snacks and she had to force her way onto the ward in the morning outside of visiting hours to get them to me!). Cereal bars, bananas, other fruit (dried or fresh), chocolate etc.. all good as don't go off easily.

She will be het daughter's advocate. My mum and DH had to discuss all the options with the MWs when forceps were discussed as I was out of it on gas and air, I didn't need them in the end but I knew mum was briefed on my 'do not want unless absolutely necessary' list.

I'd second the snack and water carrier role too! I went through six bottles of water, and I wanted them ice cold.

My mum went in with my sister and said it was harder to watch her daughter in labour than to labour herself, she struggled to not let it show. So i'd say she should try to prepare to watch her little girl in agony and figure out how she will cope herself watching her child go tho pain. My mum went to the loo for a cry a couple of times :(

I know it sounds obvious but my mum says she obviously knew her daughter would be in pain but the reality of it hit her hard.

I went in with my daughter,and it is harder to watch,as you know what they are going through.just be there and listen to when she wants help and know when to sit down and let her be,we did have some laughs,especially when she was on the ball,and i had a sly go on the gas for old times sake..

My mum was with me for my first and was brilliant, instinctively assertive, kept me going, explained what was going on through the fog of g&a,and as she had experienced it all before knew all the positive things to say and gave me the strength and confidence to get through it in a very positive way.

She did say afterwards that she had to detach herself at times, and she was very emotional immediately afterwards and I am very aware that it was difficult for her at times but the benefits of what we shared and her being there she wouldn't change for anything in the world!