Change of heart??? Not sure want VBAC

[helsinkihelen]

Dear all

Any advice would be gratefully received as i feel a bit lost at the mo, and don't feel that comfortable talking to my midwife until i have a better idea of how i feel. i get the feeling this post is going to be a bit of a ramble so apologies to those who like to get straight to the point ;0)

I know this may seem a bit late in the day, but i am 39 weeks pg with my second. i have a 2 year old son who i had by c section as he was breech from about 32 weeks. i did initially plan on having a water birth at a local maternity home but that was ruled out. We did try turning him twice but he was happy where he was and i had a c section on my due date and it was fab. A wonderful experience. The staff were lovely, really happy jokey atmosphere in the theater - didn't feel as though i missed out at all as never a massive fan of the idea of a natural birth.

Assumed that i would be automatically given a c section for subsequent pregnancies - which happy about. however our nhs trust have a policy of encouraging VBACs (vaginal birth after c section) - i assume because of the cost implications.

I am not a good decision maker - i umm and arr and much prefer decisions to be made and to follow them and know where i am.

Anyhow, i kind of decided (with a lot of gentle persuasion from the consultant MW) that i would go for a VBAC. My main reason was i was hoping for a speedy recovery so i could minimize the impact on my wee boy. In all fairness i was pretty much back on my feel after 3-4 days and driving after a week and a half alfter my c section but i want to be able to pick up my boy which i am not sure i'd be able to do for some time. I am sure that my strong desire to protect my son from too much change is born out of the guilt of having worked full time for the past 11 months and since I've been off not only has his behavior changed (for the better!) we've managed to form a really close bond and i realise how much I've missed out on and how unsettling it must have been for him not to have someone at home with him all the time (2 days nursery, 1 day me or his dad and 2 days granny - spoil rotten with love and attention but shoved a bit from pillar to post)

Anyhow, unlike my last pregnancy - which went without incident, for the last couple of months i have had colds, chest infections and now for the last month my back is completely pooped :0( It has been so painful i have been in tears and on 2 occasions this week a simple sneeze has had me flat on my back for days at a time. I am soooo fed up, i can not sleep because i am so uncomfortable from my back and bump and i am really struggling to look after my little boy.

Unfortunately my midwife and GP say that there's nothing they can do for me. But i am not sure they are taking me seriously so potentially i could be in for another 3 weeks of this. Anyhow, i am now worried that having a vaginal delivery might make my back even worse - and i could not cope with being in this much pain for weeks or months after the birth. Especially as my partner has a long term medical condition whhich means he is regularly in pain and i just feel one of us needs to be able to hold the reins at all times - he is fab though but i don't want him to be under too much physical pressure. Also if i get stitches from the birth, with my bad back i don't know how I'd keep myself clean as it's a struggle at the moment (sorry if TMI).

I don't know how easy it would be to get them to agree to a c-section after me saying i would go for a VBAC, and had i not had this blasted bad back i would have given it a shot - but now it feels like a terrible idea.

Am i making a mountain out of a molehill, or should i seriously consider going for another c -section????

I have only had one child but i had a natural birth and didnt regret it. I felt bouncy and floaty, no after effects, wanted to start exercising later the same day and only needed gas and air as pain relief. I felt fine. Although like caeserians there can be complications but on average you do recover quicker from a natural birth than from a c section. I was offered a caeserian but decided against it and i am so glad i did. Hope this helps. ps student midwife was fantastic! I didnt realise until after when she asked the qualified midwife to help fill in the paperwork. x

I am also headed for a VBAC in April/early May.
Like you, I recovered mega quickly form my first CS. What I'd say is that not everybody all the time recover as quickly as we did, so we should not take our experience for granted.
If your VBAC is successful, you then will be more mobile to deal with your back, i.e. do some physio exercises for example. With the CS, your back and your front will be out of order for a while and looking after your DS might be even harder.
Maybe you can seek a half way pint and beg for an epidural?

You recover more quickly from a straight forward vb than you do from a straight forward cs. You can't really compare the two, it's apples and oranges. I have had a vb resulting in 3rd degree tear and an Elcs. Guess which one I recovered from more quickly?

I couldn't decide what to do for my 2nd baby either!
I eventually decided I wanted an ELCS at my 40 week appointment so booked in for one at 40+5. I then went into labour 2 days later so attempted a vbac and then ende up with an emcs (which is what happened the first time).
If you want a c section then go for it. I just didn't want to regret not trying for a vbac.
Btw my recovery was really easy the 2nd time.

Thanks for your replies. I just feel so confused :0( I have just been so lucky in life with good health and sailed through my last pregnancy and c section recovery - i promise i am not gloating as i have always appreciated my good health. But sitting here in agony with my back, have caught another cold and just sooooo uncomfy that i just don't feel in the right frame of mind to take on a challenge such as childbirth. Lol, walking to the kitchen to make a cuppa feels like a mammoth challenge at the moment. I feel cowardly wanting to opt for the c section again but i feel a certain amount of comfort having gone through the experience previously and am just so worried that labour will aggravate the problem in my back. My mum has always suffered from bad backs and up till now i have always been fine (i am 37) and i just don't want to end up like her as being in pain is the pits!

So what is holding you back for requesting a C section?
Don't feel bad if that's what you really want .

Don't feel cowardly if a CS is what you want, there's nothing cowardly about it! But, if the only/main thing that's leading you to a CS is your back, remember that CS will (temporarily) weaken your abdominal muscles and that can aggravate back pain - it might not be the solution you are hoping for. Is there any way you could speak to an obstetric physio to get their opinion?

I have felt very under pressure from the moment i became pregnant to to agree to a VBAC. From my booking appointment i was told that there was no reason for me to have a c section this time and that a VB was best for baby. An appointment was made with the consultant midwife really early on (may be 12 weeks) for me to agree to a VB this time around, then another at about 5 months and another at 35 weeks. Each time i was told about all the bad things about c sections and good things about VBs - although you understand it was 'my choice'. After following the "i can't remember how many people have had their hands up my chuff" thread and thinking about my own experiences a year ago after having a miscarriage, i really don't think i'd thought through my decision to give a VBAC a try.

I was so comfortable with my previous experience and would be more than happy for a repeat of that - or something similar. Having read about stretch and sweeps, VEs, episiotomies, incontinence, 30 hour labours - i feel a little bit terrified now. The c section seemed soooo civilized.

I will have a long hard think this weekend and if i have changed my mind i will speak with my midwife on Monday. thank you for your help.x

I had an elective cs with DS2 after an emergency one with DS1, who was almost 2 when my second was born. The second cs seemed to take longer to heal, I guess because I also had a two year old to care for, although I had plenty of help. I also found I was in more pain as I suppose I was moving around more. What was great though was knowing when I was going in and being able to prepare DS1 and spend some time with just him and me. It's six of one and half a dozen of the other. I hope it turns out to be a positive experience however it goes, enjoy your new baby! Oh and I agree - nothing cowardly about having a big needle in your spine and your belly opened up while you are conscious and awake. And then they go and hand you a baby!!!! Terrifying!! ;)

Lol, yes ..... you're right - it doesn't sound cowardly at all when you put it like that. i am just so rubbish at articulating my feelings. I'd be fine if i could email them and tell them that i think i've changed my mind.