I'm 37 weeks pregnant with my third and have been told that due to my previous history, I can request an elective c-section. I'm not sure whether or not to go for it and would appreciate opinions.
Both previous pregnancies had complications (baby not growing well) and I had to be induced both times. The first delivery was the most horrendous experience imaginable. I laboured for 36 hours, I couldn't have any contractions unless I was maxed out on syntocin which then led me to have double contractions. Baby showed signs of heartbeat deceleration but I wasn't seen by a doctor for nearly 3 hours because of staff shortages. Baby ended up horribly distressed, major panic alround, ventouse delivery that left dd1 so battered she needed a head x-ray. It now looks as though dd1 has learning difficulties as a result of neurological damage sustained through birth trauma.
When dd2 needed to come out early, my OB persuaded me to try for another induction-led natural delivery. Anyway, 24 hours, 3 lots of prostin and all the syntocin I could have later I'd only managed to dilate 1.5cm. They did manage to break my waters to see if it would progress things which it didn't (and believe me, that's not a pleasant experience when you're only 1.5 cm). The induction was deemed a failure and I ended up having a c-section.
This time round the baby is growing normally, thank goodness, but my (different) OB does wonder how well a natural delivery would progress given what happened before. He says I can go for it with some very strict guidelines on how the labour should be progressing before they would intervene and c-section me.
At the back of my mind is the worry that something awful is going to happen to my baby if I try to have him naturally and if it did, it would be my fault because despite my previous experiences, I didn't go for the elective. I can't get out of my head the image of dd1 after she was born. With dd1 and dd2, the first thing that went through my mind was not, how many toes, is it a girl etc. it was "Is she alive?" TBH, the only reason I am considering a natural delivery is that I feel that I am being silly and irrational. I'm also worried that people will think my reasons for the elective are pathetic. Anyway, am going round in circles here and would appreciate any opinions you may have. I don't have to decide until next Friday.