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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

I want to give birth abroad In Ireland

86 replies

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 20:37

Am new here hope its not too long winded.

I want to have my baby in the Republic of Ireland as I need the support of my family around me. All our families live in Ireland. I was born there so hold Irish passport etc. I moved to the UK from Ireland 6 & half years ago. I am pregnant with my second child; the first will be 22 months when I am due. I did have the 1st in the UK, I had emergency CS so was delighted to have my parents over to me for 2 weeks.

This time round due to family commitments/issue they will not be able to come over to help & support us so would love to give birth there. I need their support more than ever to look after no.1 while I settle with no.2. My husband is self employed so can only really afford to take time off while I?m in hospital and a couple of days when I?m home.

As I am not considered an ?ordinarily resident? in Ireland I can not go for the state care there which is free for all pregnant women who are resident. There is no way I could pay a colossal private fee. However I have read on NHS website about the S2 form that can allow people to have treatment abroad. My questions are:

Has anyone gone back to their motherland just to have baby? (I would hope to move back at around 32 weeks so will have NHS care until then, than come back to UK around 10 weeks later with baby.)

Is the S2 form granted for personal reasons like mine or is my application likely to be rejected?

If anyone has any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

upahill · 01/01/2012 21:35

Whats with all the suggestions for maternity nurses and au pairs? Since when is that the same as being surrounded by your family

Well the au pairs would be dedicated to the Op and child where as the OP has stated that her family are busy with other family commitments

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 21:36

Hi Maryz,
As early days I may not fly back til 36 weeks will see how things pan out. Yes would bring my son. I have 5 siblings who would be around to offer help when not working. I am been optimistic and hoping all would be well with the baby. I'm hoping babies will not be away from their dad for too long if I go to Ireland. I would try book cheap flights in advance for Dad to fly in a weekends.

OP posts:

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 21:40

Hi upahill,
would not be alot of hassle for me if can do it. I would like nothing more if I can have baby in Ireland & to have my parents & siblings around.

OP posts:

Maryz · 01/01/2012 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

upahill · 01/01/2012 21:45

I was just thinking about your DH missing out - with him working and then getting flights out to Ireland at weekends it's not going to be great and your family being busy and complications post birth (God forbid that happens) that's all.

Also I remember the feeling of wanting to be in MY house and not wanting that many people around me at once. Too many people had too many opinions about what was 'right'

Hope it goes well though.

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 21:46

Hi Maryz sounds like it could be a plan but really would like to be back at Ireland if it can be done :)

OP posts:

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 21:54

Thanks upahill, I really enjoy going home to Ireland, I know this will be very different though. We are a really close family, they are mad about my son too. I like a busy house too as had it growing up. Flights to Ireland only 1 hour we live near airport on this side and only only minutes at the other side so hopefully won't be too bad for him. He wants me to go if I can as he has started a business where he is working so much so says he will work his arse off and enjoy coming to Ireland for weekends :)

OP posts:

IfYouSeeKaySanta · 01/01/2012 21:55

You will need to check the airline's policy in considering when you might fly to Ireland. Some airlines will not let you fly so close to your due date (as 36 weeks). I had to cancel a holiday because I would be 34 weeks at the date of my return flight and the airline's policy is to only accept pregnant women up to 33+6 (and even then would have had to have a letter from my doctor confirming that I was fit to fly).

upahill · 01/01/2012 21:56

Just being nosy now! What part of Ireland?
I haven't been there for a few years though I do like going across.

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 22:02

hi upahill my family live in Dublin

OP posts:

FannyFifer · 01/01/2012 22:03

After giving birth in both Ireland and Scotland, you could not pay me enough to give birth in the 3rd world maternity hospitals over there, Holles street as a public patient was horrific!

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 22:04

IfYouSeeKaySanta, Thanks yes if I am going to move over to Ireland I will definitely chose date that won't cause any hassle with airline.

OP posts:

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 22:05

Thanks FannyFifer, will avoid Holles :(

OP posts:

working9while5 · 01/01/2012 22:09

FannyFifer, everyone I know who has given birth in Ireland (upwards of 25 people) has had 2:1 midwife care for delivery... I was left alone for long stretches in labour even when had epidural and was fully dilated and had a horrific experience postnatally which I can barely think of without crying. I'm sorry you had a bad experience but many women have poor experiences here, too... I think many women here would describe their maternity experiences negatively but bandying around terms like "3rd world" on the basic of your own experiences seems a bit silly to me.

working9while5 · 01/01/2012 22:10

Sorry my experience was in UK, should have made that clearer.

GreyTS · 01/01/2012 22:22

Wouldn't be keen on being a public patient in a Dublin maternity hospital TBH, have you checked out costs for private, not as expensive as you might think. Fully private for me cost about ?9,000 I think including a c section for DD2, since you wouldn't be under a private ob for very long would probably be less.

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 22:28

GreyTS Thanks will check out what private would be for say 32 plus birth etc. No harm in finding out anyway, thanks :)

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working9while5 · 01/01/2012 22:36

GreyTS, my understanding from friends who have recently given birth in Dublin is that care on labour ward is identical regardless of if private/public, antenatal car is very different depending on package.

Poochy, what has brought you to this decision? I am due my second this year also. I had my first in the UK and even though I had a very slow recovery and dh had to work it was really okay. I don't expect there will be anyone around much for the second one either. I understand how it might seem like a very nice idea but if your family can't come over to you because of their own issues, are you sure they will be available to you if you give birth in Ireland? Don't they have their own lives to get on with, too? It also sounds like you will be spending an extended period in Ireland without your dh, do you have any concerns at all that this course of action might affect his bonding with your second child? How will your first take to the disruption of essentially moving away for such a long period of time coinciding with the massive change of having a new sibling and not seeing their dad for all that time? What support do you think you will need and is there any other way of getting it? Just asking you devil's advocate questions here, it seems very drastic. Have you not been in UK long?

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 22:49

working9while5, my parents can't come over, my siblings are in Dublin too although they work they live local and work local so would see them a fair bit when over. The hoping is all going well that husband will come over for week of birth and then I would come back to UK a week or two later. I'm hoping the time missed with dad won't be long. Hoping to book cheap flights for him in advance to spend weekends with us. Yes living in UK 6 and half years but go home as much as possible. Maybe I suffer with homesickness :) my family think it would be great if I came home to have this one and I jumped on it as it was something I would love to do. Having family support would be great.

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Flisspaps · 01/01/2012 22:59

At the risk of sounding thick, won't the baby need sone sort of photo ID to travel back here? If so, won't that take time to sort out, possibly delaying your return home, even if you have no complications? The FCO website says that photo ID is needed for travel between the two countries but not necessarily a passport - what advice they give for newborns I don't know (given that the baby would still be a passenger)

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 23:02

flisspaps, will probably come back by ferry so won't need any id. The birth cert will suffice with two irish airlines if I decide to fly.

OP posts:

working9while5 · 01/01/2012 23:02

It would and it is something most of us away miss... but are you heading back to live in Ireland any time soon? I don't know how it is for you but the chances of us returning are very slim indeed, there are no jobs in either of our sectors etc and economically it seems chances of employment in Ireland are poor. If it's the same for you I'd urge you to really work at trying to build up some more connections where you live, because you sound like you have one foot on the platform and another on the train a bit. I know this feeling, we are living in a 2-bed flat that is too small because we don't want to commit to a more "permanent" home in the UK yet as in our hearts we would rather have our "forever" home in Ireland.. dh is farming stock so it is particularly hard for him to come home and see his brother farming the land he grew up on knowing there are no jobs for him, but it is what it is.

I remember reading once (probably on an Aer Lingus magazine!) that as an Irish emigrant, the research says that lifetime happiness is mediated by how well you integrate into the new country. If you are forever going home and your heart is always there, you will really compromise your happiness in the medium- to long-term if you don't get back to Ireland. I don't know how it was for you last time but pregnancy can be a good way of meeting new people and you could spend those 8 weeks you will be at home (from week 32) doing things like going to pregnancy classes (yoga/pilates etc), NCT groups or bumps'n'babes type groups and making some connections for when this second baby comes. Did you make these types of connections last time or did you spend a lot of your mat leave over and back to Ireland?

Neuromantic · 01/01/2012 23:07

Er...fuck off with the "third world" shite. Like the NHS is all that.

Original poster

poochy33 · 01/01/2012 23:09

working9while5. yes my heart is in Ireland I suppose go home every 3 months for a week, but yes am realistic we might never get back to work there with the way Ireland has gone. Yes I go to playgroups with my little one all the time so do know a lot of people but there is nothing like family & the friends you make at school and keep :). I asked the question but if it is really going to be so much hassle and it not something the health commissioner will grant or GP in Ireland will allow I won't be doing it. Thanks for your help!

OP posts:

working9while5 · 01/01/2012 23:20

I know what you asked poochy, but you say you are new to MN and MN isn't like a lot of other sites where people just answer questions, generally people will enter into a discussion with you based on what they think of your situation which will be their reaction to what you have written and their thoughts etc.

If you are interested in a factual response only, you might want to try somewhere like rollercoaster.ie, weddingsonline,ie (Mums and Kids section) or boards.ie. There is also one called magic mum I think...

I have been in the UK for 10 years this year, and I have found in the last year or so that home is getting further away.With the best will in the world, it does become harder to keep up with people at home no matter how much you go back there. It's something to think about - either work very hard to get back or try to commit to building a life here that will include friends who are "keepers". Opportunities for that close down as you get older anyway. Children and work are often the only routes for people to meet new friends and you have to work hard to make these real friends as opposed to people you have a bit of chit chat with at toddler group. Good luck!

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