C-section for #2, bit of a dilemma (tmi warning)

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Right, bracing myself. Am due soon with #2. Ended up with EMCS last time due to long labour, foetal distress and lack of progress.

Despite buying into being able to give birth naturally last time, i actually now don't have faith in my body to do it. I have a diagnosed rectal prolapse, generally very poor at moving bowels (no strength) esp when constipated, can find sex pretty painful and have recurrent lower back problems.

None of these single factors rule me in for a section, but collectively cause me a lot of anxiety about it all. I have a crunch-time appointment with hosp coming up, so would really appreciate a bit of a sounding board about what I should do. Knowing my body, I am 99% sure I'm physically incapable of pushing, without doing some serious damage; I also think I'll end up with a highly medicalised scenario given last section, which jeopardises a more relaxed setting. Oh yeah and the baby has a huge head according to last scan. Great. WTF should I do?

Can you list any positive reasons to go for a vbac?

Struggling to, if things go well, big if; back to normal more quickly. Maybe a better start to BF. But, frankly wouldn't feel cheated/guilty about another section.

I'm not sure that moving bowels is exactly the same as pushing out a baby.

I found that CS were very bad for my back pain, I think because of the disruption to abdominal muscles that comes with a CS.

Have you considered going for trial of labour but asking for a CS at the first sign of any trouble? That way you know that you have given it a go, but hopefully avoided anything too 'medicalised' (apart from if you end up with a CS obviously!).

I have a enduring memory of 3 midwives shrieking "PUSH, like when you do a poo!" at last ditch attempt last time round and lying there thinking, well that's me screwed. Weak

How did you find the CS? How would you feel if a consultant said "in your situation we would recommend a CS"? If you would feel relieved then I would go with that.

There is often a involuntary aspect to pushing out a baby.

I didnt find that a CS was any worse for breastfeeding than a VB.

Hmm...well even after a straightforward vb you need some recovery time (although you can drive your car, pick up your other dc's etc). After am elcs you can request skin-to-skin and try and bf immediately.

Sounds like you want a C section?In which case go for it!
I have had 2 emcs for failure to progress (didn't get anywhere close to pushing).
The 2nd section was similar to an elective,very calm/they pulled the screen down when he was born. It was amazing!

I had a vbac that ended up quite medical (induced and forceps) when I had really wanted a natural birth but it was amazing to have the baby come out and on my chest straight away. I also have recovered so much quicker. I was terrified of another c section though as I didn't want the 6 week recovery time with a nearly 3 year old as I wouldn't have managed it and didn't want her thikning i didn't want to cuddle her when really it was just too painful.

If you do go for the elective and can afford it I would really consider getting a cleaner for the first few weeks and taking any family/friend help you can with the 3 year old.

Thanks for the views so far, very helpful. The colorectal surgeon has said not to let anyone come near me with forceps, off the record. I think I'd feel relieved to be offered an elective. It's mainly the tip off on head size that's scared me witless, as I was on the fence earlier in the pregnancy.

Last CS was ok-ish, painful but not unbearable, mostly fine after a month. BF was a disappointing struggle and I gave up at 7 weeks. I can comfortably manage without the car and chill-out at home for the early weeks. #1 is four and am hoping will be understanding.

I had a forceps deliver and would second what your colorectal surgeon said. People say that the pelvic floor damage is from pregnancy, but mine was perfect before giving birth to DD and the forceps seem likely to be implicated in the damage. As you can't really predict whether they will be needed and you can get too far along for a CS and need forceps whether you want them or not, it seems sensible to go for a CS. One VB knackered my pelvic floor and I won't be having another VB as I don't want it to get worse.

By the way my recovery for my 2nd c section was a walk in the park compared to the first,probably because I hadn't laboured for 2 days and wasn't pumped full of drugs.
Obviously everyone is different and some people lose lots of blood etc.
I was offered a vbac or c section whatever I wanted and the hospital would support me either way.
My DS was 10lb 6oz so I was relieved afterwards. Mind you he was skinny with an average head size but very very long (62cm).
I think you will be able to request a c section as you've had one before.

I chose to vbac (and am so glad I did in my case) BUT when I was looking into it so many people told me that an elective caesarean was a lot easier than an emergency and it really must be.

I think it makes sense that you will feel better if you haven't been in labour for a couple of days first! You will also feel so much more in control this time around rather than scared its an emergency. It will be a lot more exciting than last time and you can think about any options you want in the room (music etc). One thing I'd have liked if I'd gone down the elective route is they do it before 40 weeks and I went to 42 this time - I really was ready to give birth from about a month before I did!

Whatever route you go down I am sure it will be so much better than last time :)