How long after the birth did you have parents and PILs visit from abroad?

[HardCheese]

I read the other thread on post-birth visits with interest, but most of the posters had parents and ILs living comparatively nearby, or at least within the same country. We're expecting our first baby in the spring, and both my parents and my partner's live outside the UK (short-haul flight). I can't quite decide how we should juggle our desire to have all four grandparents meet our baby with having some time to get used to being first-time parents, establish breast-feeding etc.

I would love to hear thoughts and experiences from other people with parents and ILs flying in from elsewhere in Europe to meet a newborn, especially on things like - how long after the birth did you have them come, and how long did you suggest they stay? Did you have both sets of grandparents visit at the same time, or separately, and - if the latter, how did you choose who came first? (My partner's parents already have lots of grandchildren, but this baby is my parents' first grandchild, if that makes a difference. Also, they would have to stay in a hotel or B and B, as we don't have spare space to put them up.)

Reading this thread with huge interest as we've just moved to the USA and DC1 is due in April.

My mum and her partner are hopefully coming over about a week or so after my due date - and will stay about 2 weeks I think. I'm comfortable with that as I know I can ask mum to do anything and tell her to bugger off if necessary!

PILs are retired and theoretically could stay for ages. 3 weeks have been mentioned but I'm hoping to get DH to convince them to change it to 2 weeks - partly to give others a chance to visit as there's a queue of people who want to come over as well. I'm hoping to get them to help with stuff around the house and my DH is pretty good and talking straight with them when necessary. Before we left the UK they all came round and helped clean the house while I did not a lot gave directions so I think it'll be okay.

All will be staying with us which could get too much but will have to try and establish ground rules I think. Like if I take the baby in the bedroom or say I'm going for a walk it's because I want to spend some time on my own.

It's an exciting time for us all so hopefully it'll go okay!

My father in law is coming over on the 4th of January (together with his wife), my mother in law is here during Christmas time and New years eve. All of them live in Germany.

My dad doesn't know yet, but will probably be here in the end of January. My aunties are coming over, probably in february and so are some friends.

Where I come from (Holland) you'll have visitors right away. But there you also have care at home for 40 hours. So they can keep an eye on family staying too long and sending them home.

Mine made their travel arrangements after the babies were born, so arrived roughly a week later.

Well, let me revive this thread 6 years on! This is exactly what I'm wondering about now.
My Parents and ILs live a short haul flight away. They are all extremely helpful and kind - no worries about helping around the house, cooking, taking the baby for walks etc.
However, my thoughts changed since my first pregnancy. I wanted my parents, and my mum in particular, to be here even before my due date, and stay to help in the first few weeks. We have a great relationship and I know she would let me 'breathe' when I wanted to. But I was worried that keeping ILs away for a few weeks would make them feel worse off...
Now for complicating matters:

Our DS1 died shortly before birth a few years ago and of course, the grandparents are over the moon we're pregnant again and cannot wait to meet their grandchild. BUT, in those few years:

• I grew more confident in myself and my husband, and now I feel I want at least 2 weeks just for the 3 of us to bond and create our own routines.
• that means it will take a while for any set of GPs to see the baby, not to mention the second set who will have to wait even more weeks...
• in Poland, where we're from, family is hugely important and I worry they will all feel hurt!
• my MIL, though extremely helpful and kind, has a tendency to get on my nerves with constant chatting and not really understanding personal space and not clicking at all that someone doesn't want to talk! I fear it would be really tricky for me when tired, handling a new baby, and having to fend off 'helpful' tips and constant hugs...

What do I do?? what did you do? :)

Firstly I'm sorry to hear about DS1

This is theory from me as I'm due in July but here's my plan:

We live close to the UK. First GC for my parents, 2nd for ILs. My mum is a retired nurse and both parents are helpful types who'll cook and clean. ILs are less helpful but wouldn't take offence if I asked 'please can you put the washing out and put the next load on'. Both sets are relatively young, frequent travellers and can afford hotels.

My mum might come around my due date, depending how I am doing. We have said all close relatives (siblings, parents) can come over as soon as the baby is born, stay in a hotel for a night then go. DH and I want his paternity leave to be just the three of us. If I need extra support, my mum will stay (thinking if I have a CS or other complication).

My parents, DB and SIL will stay in a self catering apartment for a week a month after my due date, so even if I go overdue DH will still get his paternity leave without them around.

PIL quite frankly are not that bothered. We've suggested they visit as soon as the baby comes and will probably come the first weekend after he is born, but they wouldn't want to stay for more than two days.

It took a lot of negotiating, my DH wanted to be fair to both sides but eventually realised that I will want my mum to support me, and that personality wise my parents are much more helpful than his. The compromise was he's given up his no visitors during paternity leave for his parents to come for a short trip.

Sorry for the long post! In short, everyone will get a flying visit within DS' first week and the longer visits are on our terms (after paternity leave, not staying with us etc).

My parents and DH's are a short haul flight away in our home country. When DS was born, we saw no one for 3 weeks, then had my parents for five days, followed by ILS for the same amount. All stayed in hotels. I'd do the same again.

My first two children were born abroad.

My DH took two weeks off work after the birth, and we said no visitors before he went back to work.

My inlaws booked to come 6 weeks after my due date, as they like to book in advance and get cheaper flights.

My mum waited to book flights until I had given birth x

Thanks for your responses! A hotel is not an option, not because we can't afford it but it's just not a done thing in my culture and more so, i don't think there's a reason (only personal opinion, we've all always stayed at each others' homes, my DH even stayed with my parents when his flat was being refurbished and i was abroad). And we have 3 beds so no excuse :) I think i need to just feel confident that we need this time to ourselves initially... And need to make sure hubby is on the same page :)