Zero sex drive after postpartum bleed

[patienceisavirtue]

Title says it all really. I had a rather nasty time after DD was born 8 wks ago and though I'm recovered physically - the idea of anything going in where she came out leaves me cold. After delivery the extent of bleeding meant that hands and a speculum had to go in to find out where it was all coming from. Dp being very patient but I want our relationship to get back on track...Not sure how to go about it though! Anyone elso had similar experience? Whren does the desire for nooky return? Ouch!

My DS is nearly 11 mths and I am only just regaining interest now

Patience - give yourself time. Eight weeks isn't that long ago (although it might seem that way to your Dp). But, if you are worried, or the problem persists, it might be worth thinking about whether you have some kind of post-trauma thing going on. I say this cause I had a spectacular and terrifying bleed after I had dd and it completely threw me for ages. In the end (a year and a half later) I knew I wasn't right and it took a sympathetic doctor who got me hypnosis on the NHS to sort me out! I'm not saying this is the case with you but you have been through something really nasty and shocking - it would surprising if there weren't some kind of repurcussions - and going off sex could well be one of them. If you think this might be the case then speak to someone - health visitor, gp (and of course your dp) and don't stop until you get some proper help.

Zippy - you are right. Images are still very graphic and real (and colourful). I think part of the problem is that I am desperate to put the horror of it behind me and one way to do that is to prove to myself that that part of my body is back to normal (even if it does feel as though they have cut bits off and sewn them back in the wrong place)! MW was very matter of fact about it. Have 8 wk check with GP next week. Will see what comes up there. DP is incredibly patient - I'm the one making an issue out of it. Sorry to hear you had a rough time too - but reassuring that I'm not the only one. The books make out that it is incredibly rare.

Patience - really, honestly you are NOT making an issue out of it and don't feel that way. It was thinking like that which made me wait a year and half to get myself sorted .

Having said that I know exactly how you feel - that you should be able to 'snap' out of it, 'get over' it. Do speak to your GP - tell him/her about the colourful images (that was a big part of it for me and it didn't go away until I had the therapy). If anything it got worse as time went on rather than better so def. speak to someone sooner rather than later. It might be that just talking to someone impartial will be enough, it might be that you want to go through your notes with someone (a lot of hospitals offer this if it might help) or it might be that you need some sort of de-programming

The way the therapist (who was also a GP) explained it to me was that my brain had gone into self-protection overdrive as a result of the experience. What reassured me was him explaining that this kind of defence mechanism is an entirely normal reaction to a terrifying experience like a pph. In fact, it shows that your brain is (misguidedly) on your side by trying to protect you from further trauma. Unfortunately, while protecting you, your brain is also screwing up your life (or at least your sex life!)

Please do tell your GP. You seem to be certain that the pph is the root cause so don't be fobbed off with 'oh, it's early days.. blah blah blah'. You need to get this out of your system.

What part of the country are you in? I'm in Edinburgh so if you're close by I could give you the name of the GP who did the therapy.

Patience-do not worry,fear,everything takes time.
It was NINE MONTHS before i had sex with dp again

Thanks all - am in London Zippy so a bit far!! But thank you anyway!