Please talk to me about home births...can I have one after what happened with DD??

[NinkyNonker]

Well, I will try to abridge this as my earlier attempt at posting failed!

I am due with DC2 at the end of April and am thinking through my options.

DD was born by forceps in a surgical unit after a blue light transfer from the lovely local MLU. The majority of my labour was great, I was in the pool, got to 8 cms with no pain relief whatsoever and was generally confident as to how I was coping. However apparently I failed to progress, and was effectively told that I had to be moved as I had been going too long. (Only about 16 hrs since first contraction), waters hadn't broken and no desire to push. So I started on the gas and air and it is all a blur from there.

Luckily an emergency taking place elsewhere meant that they didn't get around to giving me the drugs for induction, but they insisted I was lying down for monitoring etc...at this point DD was swinging into back-to-back and the contractions were agony. Anyway, after a few more hours they established that she was brow presentation, we don't know when she moved into this position. They decided she was distressed (machines were crap, I was freaking out, no-one cared) as there was meconium (they broke my waters) and that they would attempt forceps for a couple of tugs then straight to EMCS if that failed, luckily they worked. Anyway, just as they were wheeling my out I felt the urge to push for the first time, but it was too late by then.

So. Now I don't know what to do this time around. Part of me says just to do the same again, MLU and all the prep I can.

The other says that I want a HB, I want to be relaxed etc etc. But I don't know what to do for the best. Hospital would realistically be about 30 mins from home, what if something happened? I'd never forgive myself. DH would support whatever I chose, but I am sure he would rather the MLU route.

What do you do with your other children when you have a HB? This option appeals to me as DD (she will be 21 months by then) has never really spent any time away from us, and I thought that being at home might make the whole process more relaxed and less traumatic for her.

Please tell me your experiences, and work through this with me! I don't know what to do!

Hi I had home births for DS1 and DS2-7 weeks ago.

Do you know if you will be allowed to have HB? here they only allow if v low risk pregnancy so worth checking. A friend couldn't have one because of shoulder dystocia with her 1st for example.

We are v close to the hospital-prob 5 mins in ambulance so I had that reassurance if things had gone wrong. But you said you had to transfer from the MLU anyway? How far is that?

In terms of looking after toddler, DS1 was asleep upstairs when DS2 born (at 23.15) so he came down in the morning & met his new baby brother which was a lovely moment . I called my mum when I first went into labour-she's a 2.5 hr drive away-so she was at ours looking after DS1, putting to bed etc. If you do decide to go for HB I think it's worth having someone there anyway for DC1 as you will want your OH looking after you/sorting birth pool etc.

HTH

I had my second home birth on Saturday...my first is only 21months and came down in the morning to find his new brother!! I was under consultant care this time around as the baby was measuring large and they thought he might get stuck. Te consultant could see I would labour better in the comfort of my own home so he let me know the risks and let me get on. Each labour is different so they can't judge your next labour by your first. My first was 4 hours and this one was much much quicker-even though he was bigger. Don't be bullied into having a hospital birth unless you are high risk hope al goes well for you