37 weeks pg, 38 yrs old, third child, birth nerves

[lottielou39]

Hi,
I last gave birth in 2003 to our eight year old daughter. On paper her birth was lovely. No intervention. No stitches. No grazes or tears. No complications whatsoever. Up on my feet within minutes of pushing her out. Easy Peasy. Except, for the small length of time I was pushing, it hurt like nothing I've ever experienced before. And contrary to the myth that women forget, (the pain) I haven't. And I'm pretty scared now this birth is imminent.

I had both my daughters at 39 weeks, so realistically will be going through childbirth again in a fortnight.
I'm also concerned because of my age. I'm 38 and was 26 and 29 when I had my girls. I've had a great pregnancy on the whole, but worried that at my age, something might go wrong during delivery. I'm sick of reading about birth complications for older Mothers, or is that just if it's your first?
I'm sick of worrying about something which hasn't happened yet. I wish I could be one of those calm Mothers who have nice quiet birth experiences with whale music and candlelight. (instead of yelling so much I couldn't talk for three days afterwards!)
Are third births easier, or similar to second births, in your experience?

have you tried hypno birthing? Not too late to listen to the CD every day and learn some relaxation techniques - even could find a hypnobirth practicioner to give you a 1 to 1 session ...

Epidural....? I had a seven year gap between DC2 and DC3. Labour with DC2 was fast and furious - like yours, great 'on paper' but left me in shock.

When I had DC3 I chose induction and epidural and the whole thing was very mellow. I felt exhilarated afterwards rather than traumatised. All the problems of intervention associated with epidurals and inductions are, I think, less so if you have had previous problem-free births - your body knows what to do.

Not that it's anyconsolation but I was talking to a doctor friend after having ds2, having had a very quick birth with him. And after a slow induced start, ds1 also came out very quickly once he started to come.

She said that often rapid births can be very painful because theyare so intense - it's kind of a trade off between time and pain. But the only thing that got me rhrough it second time was an experienced wonderful midwife who knew my history and saying 'you're almost there, just 10 mins more max'. Knowing that it was going to be short but painful and that the end was close (and a lot of gas and air!) helped so much.

Whereas first time around at that point they hadn't checked me assuming things were still going slowly, refusing to even get my name on the hour long waiting list for an epidural because they thought it was going to take hours and hours yet and saying I would appreciate it more later when it got more painful. The thought of the pain going on and getting worse was so scary as to be incomprehensible but then I started to push and they realised that there wasn't time for an epidural and soon the baby was out. But one of them had the cheek afterwards to say that as I'd dilated quickly it must have been really painful and I should have said something as if me writhing in agony begging for an epidural NOW wasnt enough - I still have no idea what I could have said to make them realise how bad it was.

Talk to your midwife and see what she suggests. Did you have a tens machine? I did and that helped especially second time around when I ramped it up much quicker knowing labour was going to be much shorter. Also being able to kneel up in the hospital bed and not being forced to lie back down again as I was first time around really helped. And getting the mw to double check the gas was coming through - second time around it didn't seem to be doing anything and she said you need to pull it through which she did and that helped too.

Hope it all goes well. Good luck!

Hi, thanks for your helpful replies, much appreciated.
I've done the hypnobirthing. I really hope it helps.
Induction is interesting. I assumed I wouldn't be allowed an induction unless I went overdue? (was a week early with both my girls). In many ways an induction would be perfect because I'd know when it was happening and could make sure we had babysitters, and it would take away the sense of worry at mad dashes to maternity at 3am with an 11 and 8 yr old in tow! (and obviously husband having to wait outside with them or go back home and see if he can wake the contacts on my emergency list!).. I suspect I'm doing that lethal thing... overthinking everything. I need to let things happen naturally and chill out cos I've done it twice before and everything was fine, so hopefully my body remembers what to do!