Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

urge to push

35 replies

hattieboomboom · 08/11/2011 07:36

Hi, I'm pregnant with DC2. DC1 was born in hospital with forceps after an attempt at a home birth failed because my labour had been so long (latent phase, active and second stage all went on and on). Second stage was in fact four hours at home pushing before an ambulance was called. I think baby was at an awkward angle and that was the main problem, but during that time, I never really had an urge to push. I don't think... I was wondering if anybody can describe to me what the urge feels like? I was detemined not to push unless i had that feeling (was planning on 'breathing' the baby out, as my hypnobirthig books had all told me - ha!) Anyway I think the four hours of 'forced' pushing really did some damage to my pelvic floor and I'm worried about the next one.

Not really sure exactly what I'm on here for , but that urge to push question is it really. Also if there are any others who had a first labour like this and went on to have a quick second, that would be nice to hear!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CatherineWheel · 08/11/2011 07:37

I didn't get the urge to push either, so mw told me when to do it (and crucially when not to!).

cluelessnchaos · 08/11/2011 07:44

My dc1 was long stressful and ended in ventouse, I had no urge to push and I dont think she was far enough down to feel it, dc2 I had an overwhelming urge as soon as her head touched some part if me, i couldn't even call it an urge. It was like I didn't have a choice. Dc3 and 4 I think their heads were too big and I had to be told but the mws were excellent and waited until the heads were almost crowning. I would highly recommend labouring and birthing on all fours leaning over the bed, time scale dc1 was 18 hours, dc2 2 hours, dc3 5 hours dc4 1 1/2 hours. Hth

FannyFifer · 08/11/2011 07:44

First time had epidural so no urge to push even though it has pretty much worn off by then.
Last time I don't know about urge to push but my body was pushing and I could do nothing to stop it. Was mad.

TheOriginalFAB · 08/11/2011 07:46

I have had 3 babies, 2 vaginally and all I can say is when you have the urge to push you can't not. Speak to your midwife about your concerns.

Sparklingbrook · 08/11/2011 07:48

Agree with clueless. You just can't not push-you will want to! DS1 24 hour labour. DS2 35 minutes. I told the midwife I wanted to push she didn't believe me and they had to quickly remove my trousers as DS2 arrived.

MidnightHag · 08/11/2011 07:49

The 'urge to push' is a strange thing. I have no medical knowledge on the subject, only personal experience. I didn't have it with either of my DSs: DS1 ended up having a forceps delivery and DS2, I slogged away for an hour with no urge. But then with DD the urge was overwhelming: I absolutely had to push. Similar, I guess, but much stronger, to when you have to do a poo.

ninjasquirrel · 08/11/2011 07:52

I had very straightforward birth and no urge to push, the midwife just told me when to. I don't think it's that unusual not to have the urge, there was another thread a while back about this. Good luck with this birth, hopefully your DC2 will be a bit more cooperative!

GingerbreadLatte · 08/11/2011 08:09

Its odd and I didnt feel it as feeling as such but more of a compulsion- almost mental. Its not even the same as needing to poo IME.

I hadnt had it, as I probably wasnt ready. MW told me to push then when nothing happened she decided to check and I had small anterior lip. She then said "dont push for 10mins" and that was extremely hard not to do, if that makes sense. I really struggled with that and probbaly didnt wait 10mins. DD was born after a 20min 2nd stage in total.

Agree with whoever said talk to your mw. Also, it maybe very different experience 2nd time around.

Good luck.

goingtoplaytennis · 08/11/2011 08:15

I had a really strong urge with my three.

With DS (my third) my midwife told me to push when I was fully dilated. I really had no urge and could feel he wasn't moving so after two goes refused to push anymore. After about 40 mins I heard one midwife tell another I was pushing - I hadn't realised I was doing it until she pointed it out - too high on G&A I think! I had also planned to breathe him out as dd2 shot out with my fierce pushing. Ds was out in 3 or 4 pushes!

LoveBeingAFirework · 08/11/2011 08:30

I didn't have an urge to push with dd, but with ds I did. In fact it was a 'he's coming nooooowwwww' -scream-- comment from me that made them realise he was actually coming and I wasn't a pathetic wuss

ruddynorah · 08/11/2011 08:38

It's like doing a poo! Your body pushes involuntarily to get it out, but if you push voluntarily it can come out quicker. Think of when toddlers in nappies strain to do a poo, their face shows they're straining to do it.

CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave · 08/11/2011 08:47

Feels like you need to poo and you need to poo now Wild horses couldn't stop you when the urge comes. I suspect I had anterior lip same as Gingerbreadlatte. I had zero urge to push despite being 10cm. MW had me try & nada - imagine trying to poo when you don't want to or need to. She thought I was useless at pushing. She nipped out the room, DP helped me over into a kneeling position and bingo! 2nd stage was probably about 3 minutes total - 3 pushes and DD2 was out. I think the change in position maybe helped the head cross the lip. DD2 certainly moved down the birth canal when I turned over. I'd been forced to labour on my back to this point due to CFM.

captainbarnacle · 08/11/2011 08:52

V similar experience to you. Ds1 was 12hr active labour and I was told to push, but never felt the urge. Ended in emcs due to failure to progress.

Ds2 was vbac. I certainly had the urge! It just took over. No fighting it.

AutumnFalls · 08/11/2011 08:56

I did not feel it was like doing a poo, for me it was like when you are about to vomit, and your stomach/diaphragm constricts and heaves. You cannot stop that or help that, it does it. It felt like that for me. There was simply no way at all that I could have not pushed.

TeWihara · 08/11/2011 09:00

During DDs (very straightforward) birth, I was asked to push as I was fully dilated, but knew it wasn't right then, and genuinely didn't feel like I could do it, which I said to MW.

So we waited a few contractions and then when they suggested pushing again, it was fine. I don't remember clearly what it felt like. It wasn't a push from the whole body it was around my belly that I felt the sensation.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 08/11/2011 10:14

Definitely liken it to wanting to do a poo - really bad!

lynniep · 08/11/2011 10:16

Ive had two and I dont know what it is either. With DS1 my whole body did one overwhelming push - nothing to do with me - there was no urge it just did it - and thats what got him in the birth canal (he was breech). I didnt have obvious contractions with him either. DS2 I had obvious contractions, but they had to tell me to push with him too as no 'urge'

Pippaandpolly · 08/11/2011 10:19

I felt like my body was in control rather than my mind if that makes sense-I wasn't trying to push or otherwise, my body just pushed at the right times. If I'd been told to stop pushing (which I wasn't thank goodness!) I wouldn't have been able to control it.

TheOriginalFAB · 08/11/2011 11:20

I'm another one who had a midwife who didn't believe me when I said I wanted to push so I said I wanted to poo. She listened then. Baby was born after 20 minutes of pushing and 7 minutes with dc3.

sheeplikessleep · 08/11/2011 11:25

DS1 - 30 hours active labour, epidural and ventouse birth (no urge to push, but was told to, but contractions started to peter off, hence ventouse).

DS2 - 6 hours from waters breaking to birth. Pethidine and tens, but no epidural. I didn't even really 'realise' I was pushing. All I remember was the midwife rushing back in, saying get on all fours on the bed now, as I was grunting and pushing, without even really entering consciousness that I was pushing.

SpannerPants · 08/11/2011 12:20

it was the same for me Autumn - such a strange feeling!

tiokiko · 08/11/2011 12:26

Also agree with Autumn - definitely closer in sensation to being sick than doing a poo. With both DDs I had very strong urge to push, little pain (no 'ring of fire') and they were out within a very short time.

Original poster

hattieboomboom · 08/11/2011 19:18

Well thank you very much everyone for those replies. It's obviously very different, not just for every woman but for every birth. So there's hope for me.

One thing I'm sure of though is that I definitely shouldn't have been pushing all that time (I was doing it because it helped me deal with the pain of the contractions).

OP posts:

cece · 08/11/2011 19:24

I never had the urge to push with my first either and it took over three hours of forcing myself to push for her to come out.

My second I definitely had the urge and wouldn't have been able to stop if anyone asked me. Took 45 mins of pushing.

My third one took 12 mins and sort of pushed himself out with only a little effort from me.

mumatron · 08/11/2011 19:29

No urge to push with ds. I struggled through an hour of really pointless pushing before they started making a difference.

With dd1 and dd2 I could not stop my body pushing. Dd1 was born in about 20 min and dd2 was born in 2 pushes. One for head, one for body.

Flip

1 2