terrified all over again. anyone else scared to give birth....

[mamaesi]

You would think I would be less nervous, as its my second time. But now that I hit the 36 week mark I am starting to feel scared all over again.

I just read in the times that you may be able to get a section without medical cause? Am I too late for that? I am terrified of getting cut down there, or worse having a bad tear. I didn't have stitches at all last time and am convincing myself that I cant be lucky twice. I also has a very fast labour and am worried I wont make it to the hospital. I am dreading the pain. Dreading being so sore down there, scared of something going wrong.

I really dont understand why sections are seen as bad. I would take a cut in the tummy over a cut in the vagina any day...plus the whole procedure is calm and controlled.

Is anyone else thinking this way? How do I calm down? Its clouding my excitement for the baby entirely.

Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) statement:

"The RCOG does not comment on draft consultation documents since the content and recommendations are subject to change.

However,
in light of the misleading headlines on the availability of c-sections on the NHS, the RCOG would like to state that:

? C-sections are a safe medical procedure but as with any intervention, there are risks involved. All doctors must ensure that women are informed about the risks and/or benefits of procedures undertaken and the alternative options. Women must have access to good quality information so that they can make informed decisions

? Tokophobia, or the morbid fear of childbirth, may lead to maternal request for c-section. Tokophobia is a complex rare condition and women need to be supported by a range of healthcare professionals, including midwives, obstetricians and occasionally perinatal mental health specialists, so that the most appropriate choice of delivery can be made.

The headlines ?Now all women have the right to NHS caesareans in hugely expensive move? and ?All women get right to caesarean birth on the NHS... even if they don't need it? are inaccurate. There is no proposal in the current NICE guidelines which state that women should have the automatic right to a caesarean section. Indeed, the current Hospital Episode Statistics show that the c-section rate over 2009-10 was 24.8%. This shows that the majority of women currently deliver normally or by assisted vaginal delivery depending on their circumstances.

There are well defined indications for caesarean section for both elective and emergency and these should form the basis of clinical practice.

Healthcare providers have the responsibility to ensure the safest, most cost-effective method of delivery for women and babies accepting that very occasionally women will request an elective c-section in the absence of conventional obstetric indications."

When I had DC1, I tore, and had stitches. It was quite a bad tear.
When I was having DC2, I was absolutely petrified and couldn't think of much else throughout the whole pregnancy.
I was so scared of giving birth, I would rather have been given a GA or preferably teleportation. Unfortunately, they hadn't devised teleportation by the time I went into labour.

I was in labour with DC2 for 48 minutes, and I ended up with a graze...and boy that hurt more. Honestly, I didn't feel the tear as it happened, as I didn't feel the graze as I was giving birth, but as soon as I could sit up, straight after the birth, the graze was way worse than the tear ever was.
It stung to wee, even in the bath and my fanjo stung at the slightest touch for such a long time (think wiping after wee).

If I had the choice between a stitched up tear and a graze that is left to heal on its own, I'd opt for the tear. I know this sounds weird, but the graze was not nice at all. Abit like the difference between a cut on your hand and your whole palm being grazed then touching things. Ouccchhhh!! My graze was not a big one, but it stung like a bitch stingy thing for a couple of weeks at least.

I feel for you being so scared, I know how that feels, it's all consuming. I had people saying 'I bet you can't wait to meet your baby.' Err No, she's fine in my tummy for a bit longer...maybe a few months longer??

I was so scared that I wasn't excited about meeting DD, I just couldn't think past the birth, then it started, was manageable and when it got painful (the contractions) it was only painful for 30 minutes and then DD was born.

I'd built it up in my mind so much that it was a fear of something that went rather well in the end.

Try, although I know it's hard, to stay positive and the only thing that helped me was pushing thoughts of the birth out of my mind, not thinking about it. I didn't keep an eye on how close to due date I was, I just thought of other things.
As it turned out, I didn't realise I was actually in labour until labour became painful and then it was only 30 mins left to go, bit by bit.

I don't think I'd have chosen a CS tbh, but it's obviously up to you.

There are two options aren't there? You can offer women balanced evidence based choice and respect their decision or you can deny them choice.

Cost matters but although caesarean is cheaper in the short term, it is actually less cost effective in the long term because of effects like incontinence. NICE says this.

Overall, whether you think caesarean is better or not depends on how many children you want and whether you rate an abdominal incision as worse or better than a potential but not certain vaginal incision and potential but not certain continence problems.

So if you don't support choice, you must support denying choice. There is no middle ground.
Personally, I think it is a no-brainer.

Ushy perhaps you should read the big long thread on this in the 'In the news' section of MN. I'm not going to go through everything I said there again here. Its inappropriate and going off topic.

I simply have issues with people saying that women have 'a right' to a c-section because of the NICE guidelines - its just not true - the reality is going to leave a lot of women potentially disappointed and mislead.

Essentially the guidelines formally put mental health considerations onto the map when considering ELCS. Thats the biggest development. Not the right to a c-section.

So you don't support a woman's right to choose even if she is informed and it costs the NHS no more.

Read the thread Ushy. Not doing this here.

I've just read it quietlyafraid Nearly everyone seems to support choice on MN. I think you are saying that you agree with the guidelines but you just don't believe hospitals will stick to them. Is that right?

But bear in mind, hospitals must adhere to their equal opportunities policies. If NICE has said that caesarean is just as cost effective overall (taking into account long term costs) then to deny women choice would lay the Trust open to accusations which could play out in the media. The government also has a choice agenda and this won't look good when it is trying to get more women onside.

Just to add tokophobia is at one end of the spectrum, there are lots of women (me included) to whom having the birth that is right for them is hugely emotionally important.

I personal had what is laughingly called a 'normal' birth and ended up with post traumatic stress disorder. My laughingly called 'medicalised' births - elective caesarean and epidural birth were totally positive and calm but I knew from the outset they were right for me.

I have a friend who had a home birth after a caesarean. I would never have done that - I'd have been terrified of haemorrhage or rupture- but it was right for her and she was just so glad she did it. So when women 'choose' how they want to give birth it is more than choosing a pair of shoes. Its got a lot to do with emotional and psychological well being. The NHS is just beginning to realise that and these guidelines are a start.

The press are not pro choice Ushy. They haven't been interested in mental health reasons for choice in the past and they aren't going to change that anytime soon - never mind any other reasons behind choice. They are selling papers not trying to do anything in the best interests of women. The reporting of the NICE draft - IN EVERY SINGLE NATIONAL NEWSPAPER - has not once talked about the downstream costs, even in pro-choice articles. They have consistently focused on c-sections being £800 more expensive and how much of a scandal this is. They are trying to deliberately create moral panics to sell papers and undermine the recommendations of the report. "Too posh to push" sells papers. Public opinion is against choice as a result of the press. MN is the only place I've seen a good level of support. Anyway, as I said this is hijacking OP's topic. This discussion is for another thread.

Ushy...I agree over choices, that is why I am insistant on a VBAC for myself, personally...My 2nd section was calm, spinal, partner there, pain free section as could not deliver vaginally due to placenta previa however I really dont think if you have not experienced both, you can not make a comparison between a vaginal tear and abdominal surgery.

I had a dry birth, ventouse and vaginal tear with ds2, yes it was painful and traumatic, I will not dispute that but the recovery was nothing compared to my 2 sections long term.

I am opposite to the OP in the sense I have a fear of another c section, (My consultant is insisting I have another section). Only if only there is a risk to myself or my baby that I will agree to this. (33 weeks atm)

btw OP, have you had a perinatal nurse assigned to you? to discuss your fears and past experiences, she may be able to offer you help and support on what is right for you and your baby.
To me, my PN is so valuable to myself and DH, they have also involved him so much in my birth plan and after care.

never heard of a perinatal nurse? what is that? how do i get one? please tell me more

Perinatal nurses care for the physical
and psychosocial needs of women before,
during and after giving birth. Duties may include
teaching natural childbirth techniques, monitoring
pregnancies, providing physical and emotional
support during labor and delivery, and promoting
healthy mother-child bonding after birth.

If I am right, they act as a bridge between themselves and consultants and they are there too identify worries and concerns that the mother and father to be may have, such as bonding, PND, stress, anxiety, pre natal depression. i have seen mine at 2 monthly intervals due to severe PND after childbirth but they are also trained to identify potential mental heath anxiety stress before birth, it is well worth asking about.

OP I'm 36+3 and worried about this labour. First one was actually fine - drug free, not too long until I had a 2 hour pushing stage, compound presentation which resulted in a third degree tear and blood loss.

After DS I was actually happy with it except the end and didn't think much of it until recently.

For me, personally, it's because I know a bit of what to expect and know what could go wrong (ie I look at DS to see what's at stake). Which is what contributes to my fear.

You need to talk to your MW to work out if this is a "normal" level of anxiety (as many second timers are worried) or something more serious.

FWIW my tear healed fine and I have no continence issues at all.