1st timer preparing for home birth. Anyone in same boat?

[chimichanga1976]

Hiya all,

Just registered so this is my very 1st post! So I'm due Nov 13th and am currently 38wks 3 days with my 1st, a little girl. We got the birth pool delivered ( Beautiful Birth Centre ) and my husband's gonna put it up tomorrow, sans water!, just so he knows what he's doing on the day. I chose a rigid one with filter, temp regulater, after much research. Sod the expense as I'll only be doing this the once! If we had the room we'd just keep it up but we're in a ground floor flat, open plan, so it's going in the kitchen for practical reasons.

I'm hoping everything continues to go normally so it all goes to plan on the day but I'm only a 10min drive from hospital if things do go bum up! Now I've finished work I need to crack on with the Yoga and Hypnobirthing CDs, which I've been crap at making myself do, but I know are effective.

I've not had any signs yet, does everyone get these Braxton Hicks thingies and are they just like period pains? Only thing I've had is back ache but I'm not in a rush. In fact, I'd rather be a bit late than early, as I only finished work 4 days ago and would love a bit of me time before the action begins iykwim!

I really enjoy reading people's varied experiences so if anyone's like me, in the process of planning, or you had a home birth for 1st time feel free to comment. I'll definately be keeping you updated as to how things progress and how it all pans out on the day!

Hey! I'm new on here too...
I had a beautiful home birth 11 weeks ago, it was absolutely lovely to be in my own surroundings and thankfully everything went smoothly. My daughter arrived a week early, luckily we had put up the birth pool the day before!!
My labour started with a couple of nights of irregular contractions, which I put down as braxton hicks too but were very painful - in the end I called the midwife and was 7cm so keep an eye on them!
all the best for your birth - the hypnobirthing breathing really does help, as does the warm water. Also gym ball was a godsend. Keep us posted!

I had my first DD 4 weeks ago with hypnobirthing. No drugs, should have been a hb but contractions stopped at 9.5cm so had to get out of our pool.

Totally worth practising and getting in the zone!

Im 37+4 with dc1 and am planning a home birth too. Midwfe came yesterday with bag of essentials and is dropping off the clinics inflatable pool for us to test run on saturday.

Been having lots of Braxtons and period pains, expecially sunday and monday, and have had diarrhoea for 2 days but no real sign of any action! Baby is fuly engaged though!!! Aaaaggghhhh!!!

Anyone else getting pee'd off with peoples reaction to the fact you are planning a home birth - I think i'd get better reactions to going on an all night bender!

Have you thought about getting a homeopathy kit. Really helps life saver first baby home birth. Good luck :)

Just to say you all sound v organised! When I had DC1 at home it was all a bit last minute - bought pool from ebay and it arrived on Friday, ditto for tens machine, DH got home form States (work trip on Saturday) and DS arrived on Wednesday!
Hope it all goes well for you all, mine was such a good expreience I'm planning my 4th for next April!

And if you're worried about people's responses to you planning a HB - don't tell them, I told very few people before the event - didn't realise how few till one of the ladies from the NCT group commented the first time she met DS1

Ah don't worry about the pool, I didn't have one with my HB.

I got a few comments of "ooo aren't you brave?" but once I mentioned champagne in a candle-lit bath after the birth, people changed their tune!

Good luck and enjoy.

PS: midwifes like fresh coffee and nice biscuits

CollieandPup, did you once say you were in the Saddleworth area? I'm not so far away. I'm in just the same position as you, although due today, but after last night's pains bugger all has happened! No show or anything. Arg.
DH is checking his phone at work every 2 minutes , wanting to have to run home and set up the pool! Gallicgirl my Pol Roger is in the fridge, winking salaciously at me.
Chimichanga I don't think everyone gets BH. Mine have been painless or mildly uncomfortable tightenings over the bump, plus a smidge of backache. Last night I felt like there was some internal opening going on , not sure what that was but I'm someone who feels everything that goes on inside so I wasn't that shocked.

Good luck to everyone. I need to get bouncing on that ball but I'm so not in the mood!

Well it's reassuring hearing positive stories re HB. Was that your 1st, Mighty? Sounds like it went quickly and I'm all for that!
I've not had any negative reactions to staying at home, fortunately, but I find people are so eager to tell you all about their bad experiences of childbirth in general it can kind of bum you out hearing all the things that can go wrong. I'm all for PMA but I think it's the unpredictability which is disconcerting. Nevertheless, I'm not scared ( yet! ) and have faith in my bod and it's abilities. Why worry about wot might never happen?

Strangely, in my NCT antenatal course I was the only one doing a HB, and I thought they were very pro that.
Liqourice, wot's in the homeopathic kit and do you just get them from Boots? Never thought about that but I am kinda skeptical about such things tbh, but if it worked for you I'll give it a whirl!

Yorky, LOL my husband was meant to go to S Korea on business this week for a week but I said no incase she comes early! It'd be sod's law afterall.

Note to self: must buy candles still. Lots of them!

BTW, wot's in this bag the MW is meant to drop off? I've not heard mention of one. She did tell me wot to buy in tho, e.g bucket for scooping the poop ( WILL NOT apply to me at all !! ) and a good torch and the rest's just common sense. Got couple cheap shower curtains for underneath etc.......

The HB kit varies from area to area. Where I live, the CMW bring everything with them when you go into labour. All I provided was a plastic dust sheet taped to an old duvet. I got some maternity/incontinence pads too but I seem to recall the midwives brought lots of those anyway.

I had this idea that we would have lots of candles and calm, relaxing music. In reality, I thought candles and oxygen probably wasn't a good idea and I barely heard the music because I just retreated into myself tried not to lose it during contractions. I would say practice deep relaxing breaths until it's second nature. I guess the candles were out after though which was lovely.

Get lots of towels ready. I had two old ones packed in my just-in-case-hospital bag. However, the MW kept calling out for more towels and DP went and got my best white towels! In all fairness, he did put them on a hot wash before the midwives had even left the scene.

Ooh, just thought - do you all know about contractiontimer.com?
So simple and so handy - keeps track of how long and how frequent your contractions are by just hitting one button (space bar I think) when they start and end - really useful for midwives to see how things have progressed.

With DC1 DH was trying to time them on a stopwatch with sticky buttons so not getting very accurate results, which may be why the MW only arrived 45 mins before DS did as he probably wasn't telling the hospital they were often enough!

In contrast to DC3 who was 11 days late and after my 3rd sweep I thought htings were starting so wanted to stay upright rather than going to bed so sat downstairs reading and hitting contraction timer about every 10 mins which scared DH slightly when he came looking for me!

had my first DC at home and planning 2nd one too - amazing experience, the worst part was dealing with the negative comments from people who know nothing about homebirths....my response now to "god you're brave" is "actually I think it's braver to be in a hospital, there is no way I would go there for any reason other than a medical emergency" shuts them up or opens them up to having a proepr conversation about it!

I didn't have a pool or candles or music, laboured during the day watching tv then 2nd stage happened so quickly I wouldn't have known if the ENO were playing live in my living room.

You will, however, poo....you won't, however, care

I agree with girl I got people who were either shocked or said I was brave, it did annoy me.

My theory is the mw are trained specifically for this profession, they were cool about our hb and I can say really that it was a lovely experience, still kisses and hugs with DH - rather than screaming (like you see on TV) and swearing at him.

I used the I phone contraction timer, it's very useful for the mw to look at when they turn up too,

also don't forget that more often than not homebirthers will have done more research than those who've never considered it - byt the very nature of weighing up the wealth of choices so anyone who gives you negative comments and turns out they would "never dream of having a homebirth" obviously haven't even bothered to look anything up about - so therefore you know more (neh neh neh neh neh)

crackpot yes I'm from saddleworth... How do you know that? where are you? Any action?

I've found people's reaction to hb to be obe extreme to another. People who ave had obe are obviousltbcery supportive as are many women who have recently given birth in hospitals. What annoys me is interfering family members trying to tell us it's the wrong decision and change our mind!!! None of your business springs to mind!!

I've got the hypno cd too, although fallen asleep half way through every time!!

Yorky definately not organised. Almost 38 weeks nursey not finished, kitchen full of junk, no birth pool yet and just won a tens machine on eBay that I now need to collect..... And still getting Braxtons!

Will have to use that contractiontimer.....genius! Can't sleep. She's been very lively tonight, since I went to bed. So much so that I was getting bit concerned thinking if all was well or if she's changed position. MW said she was engaged last week but that's not to say they stay engaged!

So I ended up with lotsa reflux/heartburn as a result so just gave up and got up! Maybe it was the fireworks display that unsettled her, lol?!

Does everyone get a "show"? Become ultra self - aware now, keeping in tune with self for clues seeing as I'm 39wks today. Everytime I go to loo I'm checking the paper just incase! No B.Hicks tho.Keep having comedy visions of my waters going, out the blue, in the queue at Asda or someplace equally conspicuous, not sure if it happens like that tho! Oh the shame.......; )

Gotta make app to see MW this wk, nd bloods done again and would like another check on position. People are now placing bets on how much she'll weigh to the nearest half lb, teehee!!

Hope yous are all well and getting more shut eye than me!

Just relax and get as much sleep as you can.

I got no show whatsoever. Lost the plug after several hours in labour and waters had to be broken when I was 10cm dilated. Everyone is different so no use worrying about it.

I got VERY restless the few days before she was born and DP was taking me for long walks at 11pm to wear me out so I could get some sleep. It was about the only indication but could be the result of baby arriving a week after EDD.

Yeah I didn't get a show either and my waters broke about 10mins before I started pushing!

Girlwith, bloody hell, really? How varied people's experiences are! Will be adding my own soon. You sound like you had a really good experience. But if your 2nd stage is too quick, does that mean you're more likely to tear?

Off to bed to try again for some shut eye..........

I didn't have any damage aside from a graze because DS was born with his hands by his face. In all honesty I did have a brilliant experience - if you can be arsed to read through it, here's my birth story www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_announcements/643971-GirlWithTheMouseyHair-39-s-epic-homebirth-story

It's pretty long because it was for my own records as much as anything else! But am not neccessarily counting on the same experience, seeing as this pregnancy has been so different, am still doing a lot of prep as though it's my first time (and it's been 3 years since I last gave birth!) - although am preparing for a substantially quicker labour. Last one as 12.5 hours start to finish, established labour for about 3.5 hours and second stage was 6mins, so not as scary fast as some but the slow gradual build up led me to think it would be a lot longer and that last half hour (from 7cm to birth) was crazy!!

I am also a first time home-birther! I am 30 wks today and mostly have been feeling confident about it, DP is also v keen on the idea although i can't help worrying he might lose it when it actually gets here...fingers crossed he won't.

I have had mixed reactions, i am the first in my group of friends to have a baby and so they were all a bit shocked but have little experience so realised it was better to keep their mouths shut. Sister in law had a great home birth (first baby) and that really helped me come to terms with it. Good friend is a GP, she would never do it but was very supportive as said is recognised as a safe option.

We are 7 mins from Kings Hospital London, supposedly one of the best however whenever i've been there i just feel stressed out and like i'm being ignored which is one of the reasons i didn't opt for hospital birth.

ALL the bad stories i have ever heard on labour or birth were from hospital births. I am sure there are a fair few from home births but i haven't heard any and intend not to before i go through it myself.

I have been doing yoga, hypnobirthing and trying to relax more after just going part-time at work although we are moving house soon so that isn't ideal timing! I am keeping chilled though.

What i'd like to know is if anyone had used a doula? I am contemplating it, at the moment i don't feel i need it as DP is pretty chilled out about it all and doubt he will be grossed out by anything (even poo!) but you never know and part of me thinks having someone present who knows what they're doing (before midwife arrives mainly) might be good? Any thoughts?

Also what are people's experiences of tearing? My only real fears are of tearing / ruining my pelvic floor...but i will be doing the water birth and obviously perennial massage (if it even helps) plus pelvic floor exercises. I think i am more concerned about how it would be dealt with if i was to tear and was at home?? any advice?

Ooh, exciting - good luck!

I had my DS (first (and only (so far)) DC) at home - I laboured a lot in the pool, but got out to get measured right at the end, was on my bed, and decided I couldn't face going down the stairs to the pool again, so he was born on our bed - my point being, even though you are planning a waterbirth, get your mattress covered in case your baby comes out there - luckily I had waterproof sheets on the bed in case my waters broke there, so our mattress was ok. It gets messy! (Though I didn't poo! Phew!).

Also would REALLY recommend you get s TENS machine, it was brilliant.

Oh, and I didn't tear, I believe because I was in the water for so long (no quick labour here!) but also because we'd been doing the perineal massage - start this now, if you haven't already!

Good luck!

I had heard not to start the perineal massage until 34 wks as it can set you off in labour....any thoughts? When did you start?

Sorry, I x-posted with you, and was referring to the OP to start PM now! Yes, not before 34 weeks is the recommendation - I would have started then, not before.

Re your doula question, for me, having one to one care from a midwife in my home, and my DH being there, was brilliant - I did not need a doula. Any more than the two people I had there would, for me, have felt crowded. Apart from at the end when the second midwife arrives, which for me, was timed perfectly.

Chimichanga - yes a faster 2nd stage can increase your risk of tearing but in 3 home water births I have never torn enough to need a stitch. My 2nd stage with DD was 6mins (2nd DC) and with DS2 even faster! I I like to think I am naturally stretchy down there - DH has an alternative reason but doesn't say it out loud for fear of a beating
The MWs are OK to stitch at home though, they may ask for a lamp for a bit more light while they do it but that should be all.

I think it's impossible to know what will happen to be honest.

Apparently RLT does something to your cervix which increases a chance of 2nd stage being quick - I half heartedly drank one cup every few days.
I didn't do perineal massage at all.
I didn't spend any time in water at all.
I didn't do hypnobirthing (but DID do yoga birth preparation)
I got my TENS on far too bloody late for it to do anything but piss me off!
Ditto gas and air

I didn't tear and had a quick second stage. AM hoping my wing-it idealogy will see me through this time too!

k4mi that's all really exciting! I felt like DH was pretty chilled and informed too but I also had a huge amount of faith in my midwife team, who are literally maazing, so never considered a doula....