Terrified about extremely quick homebirth

[HChapman]

My first child (now 15 months) was an 85 minute labour in birthing centre. Am 21 weeks pregnant and was advised early on that I should plan for a homebirth for my second (usually quicker labour) child. Not something I would have considered ordinarily but better than fearing birth in the car on the way to hospital (20 minutes away)!
Anyone got any advice or reassurance??
I'm picturing being home alone with my son, husband an hour away and mum 50 minutes away and baby crowning! Then what if there are complications? I know I'm thinking worse-case-scenario and that someone (paramedics/midwife) will arrive in time, if not shortly after, but can't shift my fears.
Will mid-wife talk me through beforehand if I have to give birth alone?
Some kind, local, friends have offered to look after my son/ come and help so I am very grateful for their support. How should I organise it though?
Any helpful comments/experiences much appreciated!

Paramedics should be with you in 8 minutes or less so as long as you call when you know you're in labour then yes they will make it. Certainly get your midwife to talk you through the birth. If it does happen that quickly that is usually because evertything is absolutely where it should be and the birth proceeds without issue. All you need to do is get yourself in a position where baby isn't going to fall if they shoot out. You friends - find out when they are alla round - what times of day - and write a list with their numbers on speed-dial! Good luck - chances are it will be a bit quicker but you'll have some warning - you are not going to go to 10cm without some warning - however brief.

DS was an unplanned hb. It was actually fantastic and wouldn't chnage it even if I could!

Paramedics took 9 mins from riniging 999 and made it with 6 mins to spare.

I figure if it happens quickly, it generally means all will be fine. Did wait about 50 mins before the midwife could be bothered to turn up though.

I think lone births are quite rare. I made a big effort to make sure I was never without my phone, especially after my 'giving birth on the bathroom floor' dream

I had a planned home birth with ds2 after ds1 was born in an a&e cubicle.
He decided to make his entrance as we Parked up and dh just about managed to drag me into the a&e department before ds1 arrived!

Ds2 was actually delivered by paramedics at home in the end. MW took nearly an hour to arrive so paramedics were dispatched. They walked in just in time to catch ds2. dh was still en route home!
He did need oxygen as he was a bit shocked but otherwise fine.
It was scary at the time not knowing if anyone would get there but everything was ok. Even if the MW/paramedics didn't arrive in time the call handler was lovely, very calm talking MW through everything.

Hope everything goes well for you

ds1 was an (unplanned) unassisted homebirth (homebirth bit was planned) after a quick labour with ds1 (2hrs).

ds2 basically went like this.

• waters: hmm, can't be, 3 weeks early (as was ds1)
• 10 mins later 1st contraction: shit is it, better tell dh & call hospital
• 15 mins later (max): better just check nothing happening - reach down and deliver ds2 head into my hand.

The community midwife said afterwards that if something had been wrong then it wouldn't be a quick delivery - something going wrong is almost always a failure to progress, by which time help would have got there.

My dh was there, but I fully expected him not to be as at the time he was away from home Mon 6am - Fri 9pm (I had ds2 late Fri night).
My plan for this was to ensure the front door was unlocked at the first sign of anything happening.

If you are worried about giving birth alone then talk to your midwife, but if it does happen then it is almost certainly because it is very straightforward, and someone will be alone shortly after.

My dh called 999 after I gave birth, which I didn't really see the point of as everything was fine and midwife was called out. They took about 15 mins, and just had a very quick look at me and the baby (didn't actually touch either of us) and then just stayed until the midwife turned up (and then until I delivered the placenta in case we needed to be transferred to hospital).

Agree on keeping a phone on hand.

My friend also had an unassisted homebirth (with her 3rd, 5 months after mine). Her's was somewhat longer but her DH called 999 while she was in labour and they stayed on the line and talked him through everything.

I had a planned homebirth, but it turned out unassisted. My doula was there, but neither the midwife nor the paramedics made it.

Stupid thing is, it wasn't that quick a labour. I just got stuck at the "irregular but very painful contractions" bit for hours, then suddenly I was pushing. Even the midwife said they wouldn't have come out if I'd described my contractions until that point, especially since DD1 was the same and came out two days later. You at least know it's likely to be quick, so can call the midwife at the first twinge.

Like others, I have been told things normally only go very fast if everything is all ok. Midwife said they don't really worry about BBA babies for that reason.

Just one tip, if your front door needs the key to unlock it (i.e. can't just be left unlocked), find somewhere you can hide one whilst you are in the house. I have a friend who had an unplanned unassisted home birth. The paramedics made it, but she couldn't get off the bathroom floor to let them in and they need the fire brigade if they need to break a door down, who didn't make it!

I have had 3 quite quick births. The big thing to remember second time round is that you KNOW it's going to be quick. You also are more likely to know what the start of labour feels like. You will be more cautious as a result and so will your midwives. With my 2nd child this meant that they came out to me as soon as I rang and said I needed them, no messing about, no asking me to just see how it goes a bit longer. When they checked my progress and saw I was only 1 cm dilated they didn't go anywhere, which was just as well because I gave birth about an hour later!!

Do get some advice about delivering alone - if only to put your mind at rest. But if your midwives are fully aware that you deliver quickly then they really won't mess around or keep you waiting.

Btw this is exactly the reason I booked a homebirth, in the end I decided to go to hospital, oh and ds was born half an hour after I arrived

my first labour wasn't nearly as quick as yours but my midwife is convinced this time will be fast. DS was a planned homebirth and I'm planning a homebirth again this time - she's just said to call her the second I think anything's starting to happen and she'll come to see me.

Explain your fears to your midwife, she should talk through your homebirth plan with you.

DD2 was an unplanned homebirth (hospital only a mile away, but still didn't make it).

8pm: Me calling the hospital to tell them I thought I was in labour and as I was told off last time for not getting in sooner (I was in transition with DD1 when I got there) I was asking when to come in. Was told to have a paracetamol and bath.

8:10 - DD1 off to bed
8:20 - DH had gone next door to tell neighbour she might be needed for babysitting DD1 overnight (she's a lovely old dear our neighbour who was happy to housesit all night for us if we needed it - no family within 2 hrs)
8:20 - I felt like I needed to go to the loo. Wasn't a poo that was coming out though, it was DD2
8:23 - DH gets back home, I shout grab a towel, he shouts get in the car to hospital. I scream no, get a towel and he catches DD2 just in time.
8:25 - DH flapping around a bit, bless him. Calls hospital who send out 2 midwives and 2 ambulances. Arrive in under 5 minutes to help us out with DD2.

Labour not that painful, no pushing, just a couple of squeezes.
Everyone had gone home by 11pm and we were left with our little one. DD1 met her the next morning when she woke up.

Wouldn't change a thing, loved the whole experience - even if I was in shock for a couple of weeks later for the speed of it all.

I have 4 DCs and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th were all planned homebirths. DD2 arrived 20 minutes after my waters broke. My mw (also a relative) told me to ring her as soon as the contractions started to be regular - she was an hour away, I rang her as instructed and DD2 was born within half an hour of her having arrived.

It was quick but I can only imagine how stressful it would have been if I'd attempted to get to the hospital.

DS1 was born quickly, too - but not quite so quickly as DD2. DS2 was lovely, calm, relaxing and my longest labour so far at about 5 hours. I had 2 m/ws for the whole thing (always too fast for the 2nd to arrive, before), and DH with me, while SIL was looking after the other DCs. It was a good one to end on.

But yes, explain your fears to the mws. I'm sure they'll put your minds at rest.

I was only in labour 20 mins with ds2 but was induced so not the same but he was in shock when born and cos I only pushed twice the liquid didn't come out of his lungs which is what pushing does, so he ended up in scbu (for other reasons too).

I nearly passed out as the pain was so bad but am glad it was over quick!

My labours got progressivly quicker. 1st 6hr induction, 2nd 5 hor natural planned homebirth,3rd 4 hour natral planned HB and 4th 2 hr natural planned HB.

But in all honesty number 4 could have been like the above stories as I only found out Iwas in laour as i had a routine antenatal and MW did a sweep, i was 5cms.

i went home and midwife came at about an hour later, i was 7cms, but only having 'niggles' no contractions

after my waters popped DS was born 30 mins later.

if i hadn't have had that sweep examination i wouldn't have known i was so far dialated till my waters popped so i was lucky.

part of me not wating number 5 is the thought i could gve birth alone.

This is why I had DC3 and DC4 induced. After a quick shocking second labour I did NOT want a homebirth or give birth in the car/with children around. I went in on my due date and had six hours of active labour instead of what I was fearing which was about six minutes! Suited me much better.

Birth at home of ds4 was 35 minutes start to finish, one MW managed to arrive other did not but I did have a doula as well in case Dh ahdnt been able to get home on time and I had the boys (2 have sn so complicated) with me.

DS3 was 3 hours start to finish and I ahd been warned: by biggest relief is that I had a HB booked as otherwise i;d ahve delviered ds4 on a cold April night somewhere about the entrance of the Tesco Express- nice!

It was a good birth but becuase so fast hurt motre than the otehrs and I ached for days; but it was good

You can always ring 999 - we like delivering babies
Seriously we can talk you through, we would stay on the phone so you wouldn't be alone. I've done it before with a woman on her own, baby born at 25 weeks. Was all fine BTW

To be honest, I would plan for a HB. I would get the midwife to talk you through exactly what you and your dh would need to do if the baby arrived quickly. I would pre-warn your midwife that you had a very quick first birth and then she can tell her team that when you call they need to get around to you asap. I would get on the phone at the very first twinge - lie if you have to in order to convince them that you are about to give birth very soon. As others have said, if worried, call 999 and you / your dh will be talked through everything. Make sure you leave the front door unlocked! Quick births usually mean that everything is OK with the baby, according to my midwife.

Homebirths are lovely, IMO. I had 2 planned HBs, one of which was unattended. DH delivered DD2 in the kitchen after a 30 min labour. It was intense but surprisingly, not frightening. Good luck!

My DC4 was an unplanned homebirth (and breech, too!). If I was having any more babies, I'd make sure I had a charged-up phone on me at all times, with the relevant phone numbers stored on it. When I realised I was in labour I couldn't get to the house phone or my notes and it was only because I had the midwife's home phone number on my mobile that I was able to contact her. I'd also, as someone has suggested, get the mw to talk you through what to do if you do find yourself giving birth alone. Good advice about making sure people can get into your house if you can't get to the door, and plenty of local friends on standby to collect your DC1.

It sounds a bit wishy washy, but for me what kept things calm was having my birth hypnosis CD on and doing my hypnosis breathing. That, and knowing and trusting the midwives.

Good luck, hope it goes well