Birth plans/birth wishes?

[ChunkerXmasCake]

This thread is NOT for people who don't "get" birth plans - you can go and start your own weird ranty thread about how birth doesn't go to plan and why would you write anything down because midwives never read them anyway. OK?

It is a thread for anyone who does "get" the concept of having a clear idea in your head (and on paper) about the things you definitely do want, definitely don't want and the nice to haves but not totally necessary.

My last birth plan had an "ideal" birth scenario (waterbirth) and a kind of cascade of intervention scenario - I know that childbirth doesn't always go to plan, so I suppose it was more a list of wishes than a plotting of the things that would happen.

What I'm wondering is whether there was anything that was particularly important to you - and anything that happened that really annoyed you and you wish you'd made yourself clearer about?

Good thread

Ermmmm, I know this time round to be more clear about what pain relief I don't want as last time I had tens and gas and air. I put that I would have pethidine if I wasn't coping. Dh panicked seeing me in pain and the midwife relented and gave me the stuff hence me feeling shocking after dd was born.
I never really knew the after effects of the stuff and tbh it really scared me. I thought I was dying

hi hunker can't sleep then honey
having a birth plan i found incredibly useful both times. I think it really contributed to a positive birth experience.
aboslutely midwives/doctors/hcp's DO read them.#
and of course they are really useful for your birth partner.
the most important for me was the pain relief. the mw knew that i wanted to avoid drugs and so she acted on that wish throughout. I had a very painful first stage with basically no let up ont he pain and I was absolutely not capable of emgaging in any dialogue, so all that "well we'll see how it goes" was out of the window anyway.
but beause I had said NO in advance I wasn't offered pain relief and the mw concentrated on supporting me through the pain and encouraging me to deal with contractions.
It was also useful to have written that I wanted to be kept informed of everything - because by god was I EVER kept informed of everything - esp when I wsa in the operating theatre.
I was also glad that I had asked for skin to skin contact because I had forgotten about it and it was lovely.
I am sure there's more but can't concentrate because of the SCREAMING....

I desperately didn't want to be induced and I wanted a water birth with no drugs. In the end, I went quite far over my due date, so in the end I plumped for an induction so was thus denied a water birth because of constant monitoring. I alo wanted the whole alphabet of pain relief and ended up with an emergency CS. I think if I have anothe baby (if I can talk DP round!!!) I will most likely have a CS, but even then, I want to make it very clear to the midwife what sort of thing happens after, like skin to skin contact baby at breast etc.

I found my birth plan increadibly useful when in labour with DS, (even though it was largely discarded) mainly so my very tired DP could be reminded of our wishes when I wasn't entirely coherent. It also gave me something to look back on and decide what I might do the same/differently in the event of ever having another.

i would make the drugs thing really, really clear. I wrote down that I did not want pethidine / diamorphine (morphine derivatives) as I am scared of them.

i was induced and stupid midwife gave me paracetamol with codeine (also a morphine derivative) early on in labour for pain relief and I react very badly to codeine. in essence, I lose all control over my mind and body and labour became a physical and mental disaster, even now, 8 months later it upsets me.

Last time I didn't have a birth plan mainly because DD arrived early, I've taken things I didn't like about that birth and discussed them with my MWs for this one. Mostly I want to be more in control this time, last time I felt like a bystander with DD and my body getting on with it.

This is my wishes:

• not to lie on the bed as much as possible
• gas and air only (going to tell MWs to lie to me and tell me they have given me pethidine)
• baby delivered onto my chest (had this last time though) but I want a slower delivery as last time I just pushed and pushed like hell to get her out and she had her hands by her head so I tore quite badly
• placenta not clamped until it has stopped pulsing
• no syntometrin
• erm thats about it I think

What annoyed me wasn't really in my birth plan but it was the MW not really believeing I was in labour and that I was a drama queen. She did apologise afterwards saying no wonder I was screaming dilating that fast!

I have said both times that I want to try without drugs but if I start begging give them to me

I also insisted on having dim light in the labour room AND NO MUSIC

Also to have baby delivered straight onto my chest and immediate skin to skin contact.

Also dh DOES NOT, EVER, want to cut the cord

Hi, I think birth plans are a great idea, esp. since birth doesn't always go to plan! I had a VBAC last week (at 41wks), and I think esp. with labour slightly off the ordinary it is a good idea to have a birth plan, as it is clear from the start what you wnat and don't want. Ofcourse you need to be realistic, which could mean that you end up not having exactly the experience you were setting out to have. I stated I wanted just the TENS and possibly gas-and-air. I asked about Meptid, which is similar to pethidine, as one of my friends was raving about it, but decided against it when I discussed with my midwife. In labour I did end up with spinal/forceps delivery (mild distress in baby as he had cord around his neck three times). But, I put in my birth plan that any diversions from the plan would be discussed with me and dh, and this wish was respected by both doctors and midwives.
In my experience med.staff DO read the plan, and are usually impressed/grateful that you looked into possibilities in labour.

I was of the opinion whats the point cos i got fed up of people saying 'its never this and that' but I still did one (due today!) and i can honsetly say i am very pleased - it gives you focus and i also found out there a certain things our hospital requests they know about.

I also felt it was v important for DH to inform him and in tunr to help him guide me n staff thru as after all i have written it whilst being of sane mind! Mind I've given him a long list of possible tasks he may have to do during labour!

Most importantly I think it makes you feel better prepared, so what if it does go out of window its not written in stone, But at the same time if it goes reasonably to plan that was cos there was a plan in the first place to stick to!

I had birth plans for all of mine, the first went by the wayside due to pre-eclampsia, but the other two got great results- the birth plan for ds2 explained that I was terrified of the hospital where I had nearly lost mine and ds1's life during first delivery, and the MW fought SO HARD (successfully) to keep me out of there despite a 44 hour labour (disclaimer: length not bad as was gentle and actually enjoyable, no panicking you pg people!). I had 1-1 MW attention, aromatherapy amssage the lot. They even removed a visiting consultant who just happened to have attended me during first delivery (- he was a prat). Stared at me recognising the cow who dared to complain, and said 'What's SHE doing here?' the MW cottoned on sharpish and said 'SHE'S in labour, she should be here- then slammed door in his face! PMSL).

With DS3 things were actually really plain sailing- quick, etc etc. I did put a lot in about BF as I had problems before and although I didn't see anyone read it, they obviously did coz one of the MW came to ask where I got my Unicef training as she wanted to do it too! That was good ( I was working Home STart style with a fellow patient 5 hours after delivery though, that wasn't good... never mention your job to a MW!)

I did put a disclaimer on 'that if all else fails, I'll happily have anything that ensures a the best start for my baby' which I hope indicated to the MW that I would work with them. I'll deffo do another one when I have (if I have) another one.

Agree with what everyone's said already especially re being clear for dp. I agree with teh cascade of intervention senario too.

I don't want pethidine, it's horrible, makes me feel even more out of control and it wears off to leave you at the peak of contractions.

I do want an epidural though if

• I am induced (IME either ends up in long slow exhausting labour or a frantic, intense one)
• if I am malpresenting (again) I can't believe I was given a forceps delivery without one!
• if I want one!

I want to be able and to be encouraged to move about and get off the bed - and not be continuously monitored just because they are short of mws

I do want baby given to me skin to skin asap if no problems - ds1 was given to (or more like waved in front of) me in a nappy, vest and sleepsuit.

I'm not sure I want a sweep unless I am ready or very overdue.

I'm not sure I want my waters broken unless the baby is in distress - I've read it can contribute to baby not getting their head in a good position.

Okay the absoluteley important thing was:

However baby was delivered nobody was allowed to take that moment away from us when we discovered the gender. We had had 6 scans and managed not to find out and I was blown if anyone was going to shout "it's a boy/girl" when a couple of seconds later I could see for myself.

In the end, for 10 minutes we just had a baby because I didn't look - and those 10 minutes were just lovely and I realised it didn't matter.

My other big thing was no formula, to such an extent that if I had had to go to hospital (was in a birthing unit) the plan said that dh had to stay physically holding the baby until we could be reunited.

My midwife was amazing and totally followed the plan, she had memorised it.

The only thing I would have stated - and it's the sort of thing you don't know until it happens and it's a little thing - is that we would dress ds ourselves. I really felt he could have stayed naked longer, he wasn't going to freeze right next to his mum in a very hot room. Dh took his shirt off as per plan to pick up a clothed baby - which I think defeated the point.

On a more serious note the plan said that if I pooed in the water nobody was ever to mention it again, or even say that it had happened just in case I hadn't noticed.

I mean it didn't matter what sex the baby was. i absolutely still think it matters that nobody told me. Although after 10 minutes the midwife did ask me to have a look so she could fill in a form!

I can't praise birth plans highly enough. First time around, I had the ideal scenario laid out for a homebirth and hadn't even countenanced the idea of being in hospital. Of course I ended up with a very medicalised birth (induction, followed by cs). In this instance the birth plan was really important because it indicated to the midwives that I really wasn't where I wanted to be and was deeply traumatised by the what was happening. After I'd had my first epidural (!) the wonderful midwife who'd just come on duty made a point of sitting down and going throught the plan very calmly to see what could be salvaged. It was little things like wrapping dd in our towel rather than a hospital one immediately after birth (seems trivial now, but was immensely important at the time) and more importantly that I wanted to feed her asap (which happened within an hour in the recovery room).

Second time around the plan was in my (and dh's) head. We are in Germany now where the views of the 'patient' are secondary. I said no to most of their ridiculous requests and went on to have a fast, normal delivery.

The jury is still out on which was the emotionally better experience.

At this point I think I will be happy to find myself in labour without any intervention.
Having never been through a labour or natural birth I dont really know what I want.
Induction is out of the question anyway.
I want to avoid a ceaserean unless baby is in distress.
Dont want epidural unless labour is really long.
Naturally I want baby brought straight to me after birth. What else?

My birth plan was so long and detailed i think it was a bit of a nightmare for the midwife however these were some of my wishes:
Vaginal birth
No epidural
Not to ever lay on my back
Eat if i wanted to

and yes these all happened!

Partic important to me was being at home but also not having loads of people trooping in and out if I did have to go in to hospital. I didn't do a plan for no 2 although dh did know all my wishes and told the midwives off for calling me 'love' since it's a pet hate of mine when people I don't know call me that!

I'm with Bobbybob on the gender thing. It was really important that my dh tell me, or I find out for myself. When dd was born, I didn't even look because I was just so busy gazing at her. After about 5 mins, the midwife said "do you want to have a look?". I looked as hard as I could, but in my dazed and confused condition, I still couldn't tell what it was!!! In the end, Dh told me .

We were really lucky - our midwife read our plan thoroughly and was able to follow it to the letter. In fact, although I'd said I would have a managed third stage (with the injection), once she had read our plan, she suggested that we try a physiological third stage as we seemed open to keeping things as natural as possible.

I think for me the most important thing about writing a birth plan was involving my dh. He knew exactly what I wanted, I knew what he wanted and we were ready to back each other up.

One thing I didn't put in my birth plan, but DH did anyway, was to have my favourite music playing towards the end of labour. I had chosen something which I knew would relax me and help me to focus. Just before dd was born I remember hearing "fields of gold" by Eva Cassidy.

I had a natural 3rd stage in my plan, but I filled the pool with blood and didn't stop bleeding when they got me out, but no placenta - so my midwife recommended the injection.

I hadn't realised that you had to push again, was all pushed out - and happy to have injection because ds was no longer attached (well except to my nipple that is!)

But they dealt with the blood so calmly that it wasn't until I read my notes that I realised that there had ever been a problem.

I was definite that DH had to tell me whether we'd got a boy or a girl.

Oh, and DH was to stay with the baby at all times.

Mine was dead easy, mother and baby fine and well! And thak goodness we had it both times!

I think one thing it is easy to forget to put on your birth plan is the stuff about what happens to the baby AFTER birth - do you want him/her to have a vit K injection, vit K orally, or not at all? Do you want the baby to have a bcg jab immediately? Is there anything particular you want them to check the baby for? (eg if there is any family history of dodgy hips, talipes etc). These are things that you may have views on but forget about in the heat of the moment/relief at the birth being over...