anyone going it alone?

[notveryinventive]

Hi,

Im not having a great day today for a number of reasons, but one of which is that MIL has pulled out of looking after DCs while I have DC3. Im 40+3 so could be anytime now. My parents are in France so they are a no-go area too and I have no-one else to look after DCs expecially if its going to be short notice (as labour often is).

First of all I dont know how Im going to get to hospital, thinking of ambulance or taxi, but really dont want to go in a taxi on my own and wouldnt feel right calling out an ambulance just cos im in labour when someone else might need it for something more serious.

Even though I did toy with the idea of a homebirth we decided against it cos our home isnt the nicest and I wouldn't want a midwife to be here that long (Ok when people come to do the housecalls after birth, but not for as long as labour could be). Anyway now its too late for that.

So Im seeing I have two options, go to hospital by myself or stay at home with no pain relief and ring an ambulance when im pushing. I just want to cry right now cos I dont know what to do. I also feel guilty for DH if he doesnt get to see his baby being born. I know he's been there twice before, but he has been there every step of the way, every appointment and I know he doesnt want to miss out on the birth, but what can we do?

That really sucks. Is there anyone who could watch your DCs some of the time (like in the day, or on a Thursday)? Maybe you could ask a few people for a little potential help rather than rely on one person.

I'm 39+2 and there are a few days that we won't have anybody to look after DD, so if I have to go to hospital DH will not be able to come.

I don't even want to ask why MIL let you down this late.....

I don't have any experience but I believe there are babysitters / nannies you can hire in this situation. Could you afford that?
Have you checked with all your friends that noone is willing to help out a little? I asked a friend if she would be willing to be called in the middle of the night if MIL is not free (has had wine for instance and can't drive over, she's almost an hour away by car), and she said that she was. You may be surprised at some people's responses.

I'm curious as to why your MIL has pulled out, pretty unacceptable behaviour in my book.

Surely you have a friend who could mind the children for a short while? Or a few friends who could provide cover between them?

Is there any possibility your parents could come over and stay (nearby if your house isn't suitable) until the baby's out?

A doula might be willing to help in this situation - usually we'd support you during the birth but many would agree to looking after DCs instead, especially if you wanted your DH to be at the birth. Where are you based?

It is not too late for a homebirth - you could call your MW today and request one. It shouldn't be a problem especially if you are low-risk, although they do like to come out to see you before the birth, but they could still do that. I had a hb with my last and it was wonderful - don't worry about what your home looks like. The MWs won't care. I didn't have a birth pool or anything - I just gave birth leaning over the bed .

It is not advisable to wait till you are pushing and then call an ambulance - surely a HB is better than that? It would be lovely for your DH to be able to be there.

maybe find a childminder / nanny who can help at short notice you may have a childminder who has spaces? where are you based maybe someone on here can help?

pickcherries,
I was thinking the same. Maybe if you post which area you are in, another Mnetter might be able to help.
Has MIL given a reason for pulling out?

How quick are the births? Couldn't DH take all of you to the hospital, and then settle you in then take the other DC's home again?