Sorry to hear you had such a rough time of it first time round. I had a similar experience with my DS. My home birth never got off the ground as waters leaked a bit but I didn't go into labour. My cervix was still rock hard and pointing backwards but I was induced with a synto drip and, amazingly got to 8cm after around 10 hours where I remained for another 8. Emergency cs followed. I did however manage a straightforward vbac with DD just over 2 years later.
At what point did you go in? Earlier or later than you would have done had it not been a vbac?
Earlier - I called them and they said because of my vbac I should go in. I delayed and faffed for as long as possible but I was progressing quite fast and although I was really scared my head said I needed to get a grip and go in.
How much of the hospital procedure did you consent to (cfm, canula etc)? I wasn't planning to consent to CFM but I was ok with the canula. In the event it didn't matter because when I went in I was only 2cm. My first reaction was "oh great, I can go home" but I was contracting quite strongly so they advised me to stay in but they put me in a "family" room for a couple of hours just to see how it went with the agreement that I could go home if it petered out.
Did you have an epidural?
Nope.
How was it managed? How often did you see a midwife/obstetrician throughout labour? Who delivered the baby?
My waters broke about half an hour after I was examined and I went from 2cm to 9cm within about 3 hours. They pretty much left me alone and it was only when I told DH I needed to push that he got a midwife. They then obviously had a bit of a panic about the VBAC bit. I got bundled into a wheelchair and taken to a proper delivery room and all the monitoring, canula etc. went in. I didn't care and just sort of went somewhere else in my head. DD was born half an hour later.
How long did they 'allow' for the 2nd stage?
Don't know how long they would have allowed but it was all fairly irrelevant in the end.
If any of you had a malpositioned baby the first time round, did the same thing happen again?
N/A
Did you have any pain around the scar at all?
No
How long did you stay in afterwards?
About 14 hours but that was because DD had a suspected clicky hip & positional talipes and we had to wait ages for a paediatrician.
Did anybody find it a 'healing' process? Did it bring the 1st birth/cs flooding back? Did you panic at any point and what caused it?
For me it was very much a healing process. I was, to be honest, in utter denial when labour started and kept saying to DH "oh its just twinges" or "oh it's my hips playing up" etc. But, I knew, deep down I just knew that this baby was coming out. The thing is, once I got there and just got left to it, even though it pretty fast and frightening at times I could somehow cope because I knew by body had a job to do and it just felt like it was doing it. Because I could move around I managed to cope with the pain better. First time round I couldn't cope and had an epidural.
I think I was lucky with the timing - late on a Saturday night and crucially, I hit the start of a shift. The midwives left me alone and I get the feeling that if it was business hours or a different set of staff the outcome could have been very different. I will always remember the fab midwife that examined me initially, delivered my baby, stitched me up and even put jam on my toast afterwards!
Any other info gratefully received. Anything you regret? Anything that really helped?
No regrets obviously other than beating myself up for so long about my first birth. You have to prepare carefully for a VBAC. You need to believe that your body can do it but also accept that if it doesn't happen for any reason that it isn't your fault. Sometimes stuff just happens that we can't control. I was determined not to feel as if I had failed if it didn't work out for me.
I'd also be interested to know if it 'felt' different. When in labour with dd I sort of knew she was never coming out, right from the beginning. I had no urge to push and it all just felt futile. I felt like I was working against my body, not with it iyswim. Always wondered if this was because I instinctively knew something wasn't right. In a normal vaginal birth, do you feel things like the baby moving down or a change in how your body's responding? I just felt assaulted by the whole thing and in a completely unproductive waye
I understand your use of the word "assulted." I do feel that second time round that DD was in control tbh. She was coming out and no force on earth was going to stop it. I just had to let it happen. It still hurt like hell you understand, I swore more than I have ever sworn in my life and I roared her out but it still felt right.
Good luck with it all. Try to be positive but not at the cost of reality IYSWIM. Think about scenarios - what happens if you go overdue etc. Also, don't bother with a birth plan. Best of British