Ever decided to give birth without informing labour ward..?

[Beccabop]

...I basically felt demoralised last week after my mw appt; homebirths arent the done thing up North apparently and she became increasingly amused at my willingness to keep things as natural as possible.
She wasnt my actual mw - for some reason I havent seen her for weeks, its always a different one everytime.
Im really scared of going into labour and getting a bloody sadist involved trying to hurry the process up and stressing me out. I know there must be some lovely ones but I havent come across one yet thast taken me seriously!!

Which begs my opening question... has anyone made the choice of actually going it alone...?

If un-supportive midwives do turn up to your home birth you can ask them to wait in another room and you tell them if they're needed. The midwives for DD2's birth were really unpleasant to me so they waited in the kitchen while I gave birth in the living room, they were there in case of problems but as I didn't need them they came in for the weighing etc after she was born.

Planning to do the same with DC3 in December too.

It's not "patronising" someone to warn them they appear to be contemplating a very dangerous (indeed potentially fatal or disabling) choice.

Just as it's not patronising to tell a drunk person to catch a taxi rather than drive home, it's not patronising to tell OP that she and her baby are safer in the hands of qualified professionals rather than going it alone. Attended homebirth is fine. Planned freebirth is for fucking idiots.

completley agree with ninedragons

Whilst i have been adament i'd have baby at home (unless transverse or wrongly placed placenta) since before even getting pregnant, I would never ever ever plan to do so without a midwife somewhere in my house, and to plan to do so is insane and posititvely stupid IMO

The law is framed more around it being illegal to impersonate a trained medical professional I think ie by being the only attendant at a birth. Iirc it was brought in to stamp out hedge midwives.

Increasingly amused? Cheeky, unprofessional little cow.

Yes I think you do need to speak up. Of course you don't want to 'freebirth' and I'm sure you wouldn't dream of doing so. I don't see in your post that that is what this is about.

You have every right to birth at home and indeed your midwife's job is to encourage and support you in having an active a role as possible in planning your birth - doing this is likely to make your labour a better experience all round - whether you end up in hospital or not.

So Miss Smirky is basically not doing her job very well, m'dear!

I would be contacting the Supervisor of Midwives for your area, explaining that the midwife you saw was patronising, unsupportive, unprofessional in her attitude, and has left you feeling very unsupported in your choice of a homebirth. You can then take that opportunity to a. remind them that all being well, you fully intend to homebirth and expect them to provide the appropriate support and b. now that this particular midwife has shown that she is of insufficient professional calibre to support you in that, you request her to have nothing more to do with your treatment.

That should a. reassure you, which is what you need at 38 weeks, and b. wipe the smile off the face of Miss Smirky - oh sorry, Miss Needs A Quick Bit Of Re-training. :)