Caesarian Advice

[Emmam]

One of my very good friends is going to have a c-section in a couple of weeks time. What helpful advice can I give her about recovering afterwards? Also, she feels a bit down that the birth seems so manufactured. What positive messages can I give to her? What is there to be aware of after a caesarian birth? She's a very organised, active person and I'm worried that any period of incapacity will seriously drive her nuts. Thanks for your help.

I had an elective c-section, and was out of hospital in 3 days. Looking back, I thought that I was a lot 'weller' than I actually was. However, I got around really well, and didn't really do anything different to people that I know that have given birth naturally. I also think that they've changed the driving guidelines so that you can drive when you feel well enough without the 6 weeks limit.
When my son had been born, I felt a little detached from the whole thing, as if it was all happening to someone else (and according to another thread on this board - lots of people feel like this). Is she going to have a spinal block or a general anaesthetic? I had a spinal, and would definitely recommend that as I think that a General anaesthetic takes much longer to recover from. One thing that I would have asked for (if I had realised that it was available) was for the midwives to look after the baby on the first night, as I was in a communal ward with just curtains between me and the next person, so every time a baby snuffled/cried I would think it was my baby, struggle out of bed (which takes a while) discover it wasn't my baby, get back into bed - only for the same thing to happen all night long. So I didn't get any sleep, and then had the weepies for all the second day. Hope this helps. Tell her not to be scared. I will definitely be having another elective c-section next time. Think of it as a positive experience. A healthy baby is what matters - not how it got here.

Emmam for starters your friend is fortunate to have such a thoughtful friend. I had two c-sections both emergencies for different reasons. Some people are up and about very quickly or so they told me after my experiences. Others do not jump up so quickly but what really helps is having friends/family who can pop down to the shops for the various little things that you forget to list for the main shop or find you need or could do with. As a very organised person I found that it helped as you sort out what you need and just accept that to heal quickly you should not be jumping up and down (esp stairs) for about 10 days they say but I found that I felt able to go up and down earlier than that (the fact that she is active will help with recovery of course). Time does not allow me to say as much as I would like to but quickly even with emergency c-sections I was wide awake and able to hear my babies first cries and see them but just not hold them so the first hold for dad was special for him. You can't get out of bed for 24 hours but the painkillers are effective and both times the medics stressed the need not to suffer but you are soon able to stop the painkillers (about 3 days) and don't feel drugged. The hardest thing is having to stay in hospital for 5 days (the norm) and especially if you have children at home. If it's your friends first then tell her to make the most of the help in hospital. She should be in a ward with other c-sections so that can be nice again esp., if it's the first child. The best advise about recovering is walk a little rest a lot don't stretch and allow others to pass the baby to you and put the baby down again in the first 24 hours. (I breastfed within hours of our children being born while lying flat on my back and the children just seemed to lay back and suckle contentedly.) One of the nice things about planned c-sections I think must be that you know when the baby will (or should) arrive and you can get family and friends organised in advance for their invaluable help. (There I go again "organised"!)

Anyway, I hope this helps a little - even though it is quite a major operation it is amazing how quickly you recover and are able to start caring for your baby yourself. I was on my own from the third/fourth week (respectively) and really looked forward to it but the time does pass quickly when you look back. Best wishes to your friend and I hope this helps a little.

Emmam, I had a caesarean. She will be too busy with baby and the new life to be driven nuts I think. She will need lots of help with lifting baby.

Keep going up and down the stairs to a minimum, keep a changing set upstairs and one downstairs. Take it slowly, you think you're fine and then over do it slightly and the stitches/cut really doesnt thank you.

I went to Mothercare with hubby after I was out of hospital and walked slowly there from the car park, arrived in pain (longest walk I had done so far, and it is a very short distance!!) sat on bench whilst he shopped and hobbled back to car in agony. That was the thing that made me stop and think hang on, I've had surgery here!

Best advice I got was 'Granny Pants'! The big ones that come over your tummy and hips, the bigger the better, then they dont hurt or restrict your scar. Looked great on the washing line!

Take a special tape of music for theatre, that helped make it a bit more personal for me. Perhaps get her to take her Christmas Cards to do in hospital to while away the 5 days.

I found it very peculiar second time round going into hospital knowing I was having my baby that day, and walking into theatre. But it all went so well, and once the baby is out (and it takes no time at all) what does it matter. You're busy looking in awe at baby whilst they stitch you up, so it feels as though it takes no time at all. First 24 hrs you cant do much, but the nurses soon help you up and out of bed to the loo, you think you will never be able to walk again! You hate them at the time, but realise that walking little and often does help with the healing.

I had baby in bed with me for half of the first night, saved getting him in and out of the cot which I couldnt do, but it gets easier. There were other caesarian mothers in the ward, so those of us who had been in a while would help those who had just had their babies. Nice comraderie!

Final advice is take all the painkillers on offer, and with regard to the driving, they say if you feel you can manage a hard emergency stop then you should be OK. I could drive alright after 5-6 weeks, but before that I would have had fear of injury or pain if something difficult had arisen. It helped to drive hubbies car first as he has power steering.

Wish your friend lots of luck Emmam.

I had an emergency c-section. I was terrified - but there was no reason to be. It was absolutely fine and the moment I heard our beautiful daughter scream I forgot everything.

The most important advice I would have is to take it really easy afterwards and accept all help possible. Rest as much as is physically possible and don't do anything but look after the baby and yourself. (Just think what you would normally do if you had had major surgery!)

Hopefully, once the baby arrives, your friend won't be too disppointed about the "manufactured" birth. As she knows that she is have a c-section, she should discuss with her doctor what she would like to happen before and after, so she gets back as much control as poss. I liked the idea about the music in the theatre. Our doctor asked my hubby if he'd like to cut the cord (he said a very strong no!!!) which some people would love. and they handed baby straight to me (lying down) so I did get the first cuddle. The only disappointment for me was that I couldn't go to the nursery to see her being weighed etc, but my husband took the video camera and videoed the whole thing which was great and I highly recommend.
Take all the pain relief going and sleep as much as poss. (The first night, the hospital offered to take the baby so I could sleep and to bring her back if she cried. I said no, feeling I wanted her right by my side. It would probably have been better if I had because it was hard to sleep and I couldn't get up for her even if she needed me. I had to call a nurse anyway. So with hindsight, I should have let them take her. But I couldn't be parted from her so soon, and I'd understand if your friend felt the same!)

That's all I can think of!

emmam - one thing you can tell her. which might help emotionally. when i had my 3rd caesarian, there was a training anaesthetist present and he was monitoring ...some monitor or other, not sure, anyway he was observing my heart rate and he told me that as the baby was lifted out and cried, my heart rate practically doubled - i was completely unaware of it myself.

so even though you aren't taking a physical role in the proceedings, the rest of you is right in there!

I had an emergency caesarian (which with a 10lb 3oz baby I was grateful for in the end!). Agree with all of what has gone before, but a couple of other first thoughts for your friend:
Having had a relatively big heavy baby I found holding him to breastfeed put pressure on my scar and hurt - one of those 'v' pillows in front of me for support was a great help however...
Agree with the Granny knickers sentiment - I ended up wearing my short lycra aerobic shorts under some jogging pants if I had to move around much/ go out, but it's also important to get air to the scar too I think to help it heal, so I tried to wear looser clothes around the house.
The thing I was most worried about was how the scar would look - please reassure your friend that they really DO fade - 2 years on mine is very pale and not massively noticeable.
The only other thing I would say is that it's not nearly as horrific as you might imagine beforehand, and as a nurse friend (and mother) said to me "it's probably the only only productive type of surgery where you get something nice to keep after they have removed it!" Best wishes to your friend.

After an emergency cesear with twin 2, I had a very painful night which left me begging for pain relief. A very nice doctor suggested in the middle of the night to try some peppermint oil in warm water has my bowels were in spasm after being "stuffed back in" . It worked!! Dont know why the bloody midwives did'nt think of it.

I too had an emergency c-section - was completely under so was a little sad I 'missed' the birth! If she has a choice try and get her to be 'awake'. Basically, you are told to take it easy, no lifting anything heavier than your baby for 6 weeks. This is incredibly hard - that means the hoover is off limits, shopping etc! If you can help out and offer to do these sort of things I think that's the best thing you can offer. I also used Tesco.com and Sainsbury's to You - both a godsend as, obviously, you can order what you want, however heavy, and get it all delivered in the next day or two. Worth telling her to sign up now!

Thank you so much - I loved the mixture of practical and emotional help. She's seeing the consultant and anaesthetist next week, so I'll make sure I'll see her before then so she's got time to ask them related questions and find out things such as music.

I'm so looking forward to seeing her baby, she is such a lovely person and she is going to be a brilliant mum! Aaahhh

My friend had her baby!! She went into labour last week, which was a big surprise. She still had to have a c-section, so your help and advice was very well received - I'm glad I asked you all early! She had a little girl weighing 6lbs on Tuesday night and came home on Saturday. Mum and baby doing very well.

This is the same friend who lost her first daughter at 20 weeks at the same time last year, so its been a very long, anxious 9 months for her, her family and her friends and so I am absolutely overjoyed that everything went OK and she has another daughter.

Emmam how lovely to hear the news. Hope you friend heals nice and quickly.