Not allowed a private room after a c-section 'for my own safety' - anyone else come across this?

[MadreInglese]

I'm due to have a c-section soon for DC2. Not what we wanted (homebirth!) but due to the baby being footling breech we've pretty much been given no other choice.

I didn't even want to be in a hospital at all so the thought of being on a ward full of other people for two nights is just not my cup of tea and a friend who had had a CS at the same hospital (a couple of years ago though) said you can pay to have a private room.

This sounded ideal for me and so I've asked on a couple of occasions but both times they have said no, reason being that it's for my own safety in case I have a bleed because if I'm on a ward I can be better monitored or 'tell the lady in the bed next to me if I'm feeling a bit funny' and in a private room I may be 'left alone for 12 hours or more and not checked on'

Surely it wouldn't take them more than a couple of minutes to open my door and check on me, and DP will be there with me most of the day anyway.

Am I being to fussy wanting this? I'm really dreading the c-section aftermath anyway (they are insistant I stay in two nights) and really really don't like the idea of being on a ward with the lack of privacy and the noise. WWYD? Does it sound like a staffing issue or is this usual policy? Should I just shut up and put up?

I can't believe the conditions women are expected to give birth in and endure postpartum in this country.

It never fails to completely blow my mind.

It's really the epitome of misogyny.

Deep sympathy. I had homebirths after an ante-natal stay on the ward left me with a horror of being an in-patient. I've been hospitalised since for other things and discharged myself early because it's so grim.

This isn't going to be a popular suggestion, but my experience is that if you threaten to leave unless they meet basic expectations, things usually change. They can't keep you against your will, and you might reasonably argue, for example, that if they're relying on other patients to care for you overnight, you would be just as safe, if not safer, at home, where you're less likely to contract an infection, you won't also be in sole charge of a newborn and the people upon whom your safety depends are not themselves compromised. So if you can't have your own room, then thanks very much but you'll leave as soon as the catheter comes out and if that means drips etc. at home, that's fine by you.

Or research home breech births. An independent midwife might be safer and more confident than the NHS here?

I had a side room after DD1 was born by EMCS. No private bathroom but at least I had my own space.

When DS was born I was put in a ward with all the other toublesome high dependancy mums and babies. On the whole it was fine - all the other mums had had nightmare natural births so after my ELCS I was actually in a better state! The downside was that everyone needed help so at night when a buzzer was pressed to ask for help a 500 watt bright red lightbulb went on. Never have I been more glad to get back to my own bed!

Again in the awkward buggers ward when DD2 was born by ELCS. During the millenium flu epedemic. There was a massive shortage of midwives so we were all largely left to sort ourselves out. Probably a good thing I was in a ward as with the lack of midwives I would probably still be there now!

ELCS is so much better than an EMCS and at the end of the day it is only a way of getting here.

Same when I had mine - no private rooms for anyone who had a CS. Just as well as there was a lady opposite me who passed out, ended up with a blood transfusion. The patients alerted the midwife straight away, if she had been in a private room it could have been an hour or more before she was noticed.

I'm quite shy and private and it was fine, I was there for 2 weeks. They pull the curtains round to carry out any procedure on you, even taking your blood pressure.

TBH - most people are so wrapped up in their own baby they barely notice what anyone else is up to.

miles better than a lot of countries though expat....

already done all the researching and umming and ahhing on breech homebirths (and bored many MNers to death on other threads I'm sure!) and with it being footling it just felt too risky for us

I'm just torn between feeling really f*ed off that I can't even pay for a bit of privacy, and then feeling like a total spoilt brat for wanting it

Not a spoilt brat. You have to start on motherhood feeling like a person with rights as well as responsibilities. Otherwise the view that you should just be grateful to be allowed to take up space takes root as soon as you get to hospital and is still in your head eighteen years later.

I have to say that being on a postnatal ward after an EMCS was by far the worst experience of my entire life.

It was noisy, bright, endless screaming babies and sobbing mothers, my bed was the nearest to the midwife station - all night long there was inane chatter about 'celeb gossip' and the noise of them munching on takeaways.

Some people on here have said that it's nice to have the other mums to chat to, and nosey at each others babies. I couldn't think of anything I'd rather have less, I'm not in the slightest bit interested in chatting to other mums, or look at their babies. I just want to be clean, in a quiet room with my baby and a midwife to call upon if needed. Unfortunately a private birth & aftercare at around £10k is well out of my reach...

The midwives were rude, brusque and generally uncaring. After spending 8 hours on a recovery ward where the anaesthetic was keeping me immobile, I was refused help in changing my baby, I couldn't even sit up to pick him up, let alone change him.

Then I was made to get up and told to wait for the transfer to the postnatal ward. By this stage it was 1am and I had been waiting for 3 hours on the edge of my bed hoping to be transferred so that I could go and get some sleep. No sign of the postnatal ward midwife, and the recovery ward midwife was getting increasingly rude. In the end I walked over to the postnatal ward myself, carrying my catheter and baby, and started crying with exhaustion.

When the postnatal midwife eventually found me a bed (2am....10 hours after my CS), the recovery ward midwife came after me and started shouting at me for having had the nerve to take matters into my own hands.

At 8am the next morning I was told to go and have a shower, with catheter and told that nobody would watch my baby during my shower. Clearly I refused to go and have a shower if nobody was going to mind my 16 hour old baby. So I ended up waiting for my DH to come in, which was around 6pm, as he had to work that day. I ended up showering with my catheter, which was unbelievably uncomfortable.

The communal bathroom for the postnatal ward was incredibly dirty, with blood on the floor and basins. I was refused a towel, which means I ended up using one of the cotton blankets for the baby as a towel (I didn't take a towel with me in hospital as I stupidly thought they might provide one!)

I spent 3 nights in that hellhole, otherwise known at the Chelsea & Westminster postnatal ward. Never ever again. By the end I was crying with despair, and kept begging to go home.

What I know now, is that you can discharge yourself as soon as you feel you're ok and that you don't have to wait for the whim of the midwife on duty to take pity on you and process your exit papers.

Next time?? Homebirth I hope.

Really shocked by this - it is standard practice in our hospital (Aberdeen Royal Infirmary) that CS patients get a private room if possible to give them the peace and quiet they need to aid their recovery!

I had my twins by emcs last year as both were breech and I was in a private room (with adjoining room suitable for keeping all my stuff in and a private bathroom) as soon as I was up from recovery. Admittedly you'd struggle to fit 2 baby cots by a bed in a normal ward - but still! I was in for 5 days before both babies were taken to NN and I was discharged, but those 5 days were all in my own wee room.

I totally understand how you feel - I was in a ward (small room of just 4 beds) with my first baby and just stayed 1 night (got to the room at about midnight and left at 3pm the next day) - couldn't wait to get out of there! With my 2nd I didn't even go to a ward - just had the baby in midwife unit, then got taken to a recovery room to wait out my 6 hours before they would discharge us. Hated every minute of it!

I hated being in this time and yes, I did get ignored a lot of the time, they forgot to bring me food etc..., which considering I was recovering from a cs and had twins born at 35 weeks who were struggling to feed and keep warm etc... etc... was pretty shocking. BUT - it would have been so much worse on the ward because then I wouldn't have had any sleep or peace and quiet at all!

FIGHT for what you can get - including an electric bed if possible - made all the difference to me as I just couldn't move the back of the bed up and down to feed without getting in and out which was such a pain (literally!)

(also surprised that you would get your catheter out in the afternoon of your section! It's a standard 24 hours here and mine was actually in for 48 hours!)

madre I don't blame you for wanting to avoid the hospital, there are some horrible sounding experiences on here.

Just a thought - do you have a local birth centre you could transfer to? It's possible to move to them for your postnatal care and you have smaller rooms and are looked after much better. I didn't have a CS but had to have a hospital birth. I got out ASAP after not being told basic information in the hospital such as how to order meals or operate the bed etc. I moved to the birth centre where I started my labour (long story) and it was a completely different story - own room, peace and quiet and loads of help. It's worth looking into, I think there's a website called birthchoices or something like that, which has details of all birth centres.

Some of the stories here are really, really shocking.

However, when DS2 was in NICU, I had to go on the ward and look at/ listen to all the lovely babies alone because the private rooms were full of CS women. :(

I had an emergency section, but was on labour ward for 24hrs in a private room because i had severe pre-eclampsia, however next day i was wheeled up to labour ward, 4 of us on the ward, 3 of us with sections and 1 forceps. It was perfectly fine, and it helped to have others like you on the ward, my CS wasn't as painful as i imagined, pain relief was good, and i was up walking after 27hrs or so. I was out after 4 days, i wouldn't expect to walk out after 2 days, because things can happen that can keep you in longer so just expect to stay aslong as needed. My curtain was always drawn for privacy while DH was there, and it was just fine.

expat - at least there are curtains in the UK.

'I'm just going to check the stitches in your fanjo with the woman next to you and her husband and her other kids looking on...'

I had a private room for all three sections, (2 planned, breech and 1 em) The MW said it was because of the risk of infection? Guess staffing levels have really gone down.

I don't blame you for being disappointed.

And it really can be a bit shit on a maternity ward. But to be honest, if you are prepared, it will be fine. Pack well, and have a rota of visitors who can help you.

They will more than likely allow you to move to a private room after the first night. IME I preferred being on a ward initially when I wasn't very mobile.

I'm hoping (possibly futilely) to have a repeat section this time and I would agree with what people say about being on a ward. Last time I was completely abandoned in my single room. I think I was allocated it because I had twins rather than for the cs, but I went there straight from recovery. They completely forgot about me and ignored the buzzer. This time round I think I would rather be on a main ward as they are at least likely to make some regular checks and I will know when the food is arriving.

I had a private room after both my sections, and wasn't left alone or ignored at all.

Fight for it, the peace and quiet is invaluable for recovery IMO.

Sorry your birth plans will not be possible. It has to be really worrying and disappointing. You're having to go through the most intervention and have the most irksome aspects of hospital life thrust upon you at a time and in a place where a lot of women feel like a piece of meat even with a vaginal delivery, with practices dictated by staffing levels rather than the best interests of the patients, or even by their humanity really.

I have shared a room (never had the ward experience as I delivered in the US -- I agree 100% with Expat's assessment of conditions in the UK) with one woman who had had an EMCS and in truth, we barely noticed each other. I helped her reach a few items, and lifted her baby for her for feeding a few times. Nurses came to look at her incision; they closed the curtains. They inspected my nether regions, again with curtains closed. Family came and went for visits. I spent most of my time dozing and so did she. I did overhear a lot of her horrendous birth story and felt I should tell her to go straight to a lawyer on the way home because her doctor was clearly an imbecile ... but I didn't. We went our separate ways and to my knowledge I have never met her since. I couldn't have picked her out of a lineup even a week later.

You exist in a sort of daze in hospital; a lot of people just turn a blind eye to whatever is going on in the next bed because everyone is in the same boat and very absorbed with their own baby and their own painful bottom/ stitches/ incision/ breastfeeding issues. I apologised to my roommate for DD3's continuous caterwauling, but I know she had slept right through it, and I never once heard her baby cry.

SailorVie and

I had a private room after my section.

I had to be on the open ward for a few hours after theatre so they could keep an eye on me , but I was then moved to a private room - money well spent imo.

Exactly. That's a great way of looking at things. Nice one

And, hey my experience wasn't nice at all but, I'd go through it all again for my wee girl.

take care

I had a LSEMCS and was on a ward. I told the midwife there was something wrong, she said don't be so stupid and walked off so I would have been better off at home.

The bad - I also thought the first night on the postnatal ward was the worst of my life. I had an EMCS as baby was breech but not discovered until I arrived at hospital in labour. Baby was born at 5am, so by that night I was exhausted after having not slept for two nights, never mind being emotional at the trauma and stress. It was noisy, there were lights on, the lady in the next bed was also having difficulty BFing (as was I) so the midwives were helping her out and her baby was crying (as was mine), and I was being woken every 3 hours to try and feed my baby with a syringe (but of course, the whole process of feeding her and expressing took about an hour). You'll also come out not feeling shy. You'll hear women crying behind their curtain as you may do behind yours.

But the good - The 3 other ladies in the room were all very nice and we talked over breakfast. We looked out for one another (ok, women came and went in my 4 day stay, but over 2 days there were the same 3 women), and there were always midwives coming and going so we didn't feel abandoned. It also meant that when we went home I had the best nights sleep in a week :) You're also having an ELCS which means you will have a good nights sleep the night before! Which will make the world of difference to your experience.

I don't know if I would want a private room next time - if I hadn't been checked on regularly or been able to call a midwife easily, I would have freaked and wouldn't have been able to cope.

I had a private room after my induction/section. Probably I would not recommend it necessarily because you get forgotten about. I was off my face on morphine the day dd was born, and she just slept. The following morning, there was no-one I could ask to get me tea and toast - I had some misguided notion that as I had a catheter and could barely get out of bed, that someone would give a stuff. Aparently not.

My dsis arrived about 10 am and kicked ass. She had 3 dcs by that point. So catheter removed and I got to go have a shower. She brought food. It is NICE to have a room, but even with the screaming babies I think it safer to be on the ward.

A friend of mine had a private room after cs and hated it as she was ignored and nobody even bought her food - she had a bad cs and nearly died on the table after reacting badly to being knocked out etc. I was on a ward room after dd was born but it had 6 beds and it was just me in there.

I'm pg and having a cs this time, but with natural birth I had 37 stitches and was very uncomfortable after birth. Why do you feel more deserving of a private room than someone who was in my situation? Or someone with a baby in SCBU (as they tend to get priority)

Don't get me wrong, private rooms are nice but not worth stressing over. Recently I had pg related health probs and was in a hospital in Kent with contractions at 21weeks (all stopped and calmed down thank goodness) but I was kept in overnight to monitor my babies (ID twins) and get fluids in. I had a private room but all I heard all night were buzzers people on the ward were pressing and babies crying. Private rooms are not soundproof!

I was actually quite lonely in a room by myself after dh went home for the night. Would have been nice to chat to someone in the same situation.

Plus NO help with BF at all. I had expected to do it, but had great trouble getting dd to latch on. Dsis tried to help (she was the only one who ever did) as she bf all 3 of hers. There is nothing like having your sister manhandle your boobs after 3 weeks of monitoring and interference . After dd would not stop crying they took her off and gave her formula. I was past caring by that point....

I've had EMCS at 2 different hospitals (unlucky, I know) and in both of them C/S mothers were given a side room as a policy.
I wasn't ignored after the first, was specialled after the second but that's another story.
This wasn't a million years ago so I don't know what's changed.
Try seeing what other hospital's policies are and tell yours if they're different.