To ELCS or not

[Mum2Pea]

Sorry, this is a long one ???

Some background
My mum has had 3 babies ? I had to be resuscitated, 2nd was a stillbirth and younger sister had cord wrapped around her neck, so was always fearful that something would go wrong in my PG.
Did lots of reading and research with DD and came to the decision to try for a natural birth and not be scared into having a ELCS.

With DD, my contractions started at midnight. By 5pm that day they were 3mins aprt and I went into hospital.
I was 2cm dilated and labouring well. I requested an epidural and was given one at 7pm.
MW made a point of saying I was labouring quickly and the baby would be with us by midnight which was good / quick for a 1st labour
Since I?d had an epidural, the baby was monitored - they found her heartbeat was not recovering between contractions and warned us a EMCS was possible.
At 8.45 they told us all was fine and I would not be needing a EMCS and could have a normal birth, I was 8cm at this point.
At 9.15 they all went into a flap, DH was thrown some scrubs and told they needed to do a EMCS NOW!
DD was delivered by EMCS at 9.45 and we spent 30mins in the recovery ward together.
At 10.45, I was moved to the postnatal ward and DH was told he must leave now as understandably other mums were resting and him being there would disturb them.
This was both distressing for me and poor DH who had to go home 30 mins after his child was born, knowing his wife was not in a state to look after DD.
I was on the ward alone with a baby that was crying in the crib and unable to move from the chest down so unable to comfort her, other than stretching my arm out to rock the cradle. That night in the hospital felt like the longest and most helpless night of my life
My recovery by the C-section was very straightfwd and other than not being ?fit? to drive for 8 weeks rather than 6, all else was fine.

Im now 35 weeks pg with DC2 and went to see the consultant on Monday as had made the decision to go for a ELCS. They asked me my reasons etc, and at the end, told me to go away and think about it for a further 2 weeks and if I still want a ELCS, they will book me in

They have told me with my previous history

1. They would want me to be monitored with belts if I go through with trying for a normal birth
2. They would not let me go over 40+0, and would perform a CS if I havent gone into spontaneous labour by then
3. they would not risk inducing me at term

Its got me thinking again and now I?m back in limbo and don't know what to do!?!?

If I can have a normal birth

1. Can be home quicker (min 24hrs with CS, likely to be 48)
2. Easier recovery (even if have brusing / episiotomy ? shouldn?t be as bad as a surgery cut)
3. Less affect on my 3 year old / restrictions (if c-section, she?ll need to be careful around me / I wont be able to carry her for a while)

It is possible that I would need a EMCS again which feels like I go through all the pain of the contractions, oly to then have the pain of the CS recovery!

If I opt for a C-section

1. I could be sure the baby would not go into distress
2. I could be sure that DH would be with me as the surgery would be at a more normal hour
3. I wouldn?t feel so lost / without control

What would you do? What should I do!?!

Any advice / experience / thoughts are welcome

Sorry to hear your first CS was such a negative experience, and am surprised that they moved you so quickly onto the ward and chucked your husband out - when I had mine we were given all the time in the world (was middle of the night) and we were only moved when my husband was ready to leave (and could hardly keep his eyes open...)

Anyway, when it came to decision making for no 2 I have decided for an ELCS (only 1 week to go, yikes!) for the following reasons

1 - I can be relatively sure there wouldn't be fetal distress or a repeat of the previous experience
2 - I can be relatively sure my husband will be with me as we could arrange childcare in advance (plans still can possibly go pop if I go into labour before the date
3 - I won't feel so lost/out of control (I hated the part of being in labour last time, and felt thoroughly out of control and scared - once the decision for an EMCS was made it actually beccame a much more pleasant experience
4 - fetal monitoring - my trust doesn't have ambulatory CTGs so movement would be restricted to lying on my back which is not the ideal way of doing things and therefore increases the risk of needing an EMCS anyway - I don't see the point in putting myself through this just to end up in theatre again and then feeling sore at both ends.
5 - I'm really scared of perineal damage - might be selfish or silly, but having read the ragged bits thread I really don't fancy it
6 - Don't fancy the increased risk of uterine rupture either

But these are my reasons for my decision- I don't think that this means that this is the only right way of doing things.

Aw sounds like you had a really rough time of it for sure!

I had a EMCS for distress with my first, and have chosen a VBAC birth this time round at home. I would only agree to a transfer to hospital in labour if it was for a EMCS (which I would trust my chosen wonderful midwives to know was neccesary).

Can I nick your layout Widow? It works well for laying out choices!

My reasons for chosing this way was:

1.) Fetal distress is not reccuring problem per se
2.) I don't then feel a need to arrange childcare
3.) I won't feel out of control or scared, because my midwives and home environment will not allow anxiety to manifest itself
4.) I would be free to move around and give birth in whatever position I choose as most comfortable (in or out the pool)
5.) Big knives scare me more than small tears. I know literally 1 person who had a vaginal hospital birth without an episiotamy
6.) Decided that the risks of uterine rupture did not outweigh the risks of repeat c-section.

And exactly like Widow says, it's my decision and not a blanket decision that anybody can possibly apply to anybody else! Good luck in making yours!

I would just like to add that if you feel they would not "let" you go past 40wks, or "want you to monitored" with the belts during labour, then be aware that you are allowing them to make these choices for you. They cannot force you to consent to either of these. If you are happy with this and trust their evidence, judgement and ethics without question, that's fine. Otherwise, don't be afraid of asking for more information, the evidence on which they have based their judgement and maybe cross check stats and info with AIMS if still unsure (www.aims.org.uk/) as both "CFM" and "due dates" are highly debated subjects within the maternity services.

If you chose an EMCS try requesting a family room for recovery if they have one, or speak to them about providing a more satisfactory arrangement one way or another. Voice your fears and ask them how they can accommodate you!