can you have two birth partners for an ELC?

[GothMummy]

Is it possible to have two birth partners for an ELC? My husband is loving but a bit rubbish with stress/blood etc and went into shock during my first labour. (not very helpful). I didnt get any support from him, he couldnt even look at me or speak to me, and he just curled up in a ball when I was having my tear stitched. A student midwife had to hold my hand and comfort me instead.

We both want him to be there for the birth of our next child, which may be an ELC, but if he suddenly freaks out and cant be with me, will I be allowed to have my mum on standby (in a waiting room or something) ready to take over? DH strongly wants to be there for the birth but is quite likely to be sick or faint and have to leave the room.

Or will they let two birth support people in the theatre?

thanks

It all depends on the hospital and how big the operating theatre is. Remember you will not only have your birth partner sitting by your head but a nurse and an anaesthetist too. There won't be much room for another person. I had an EMCS for my first baby and there was only my husband there so it was an academic question anyway. With my second baby I had a VBAC, but when I asked about how many birth partners I would be allowed if I had to have a repeat CS I was told it would be just one. I had my husband and an IM that I wished to take in, and they said they would love to be able to allow me both of them in there but there simply wouldn't be room.

That seems to be the case with most hospitals.

If I were you I would be having some very frank talks with your OH and discussing all possibilities. It is all very well him wanting to 'give it a whirl' and then have a back up just in case he can't cope, but hospital staff are very busy and there may not be someone free to pop out and get your mum just as your OH keels over. The theatre staff will absolutely not want someone in there who may distract them by failing to cope/fainting/curling up in the corner or whatever else it is he wants to do. I suspect if you tell them you would like your mum on standby so when your OH faints she can rush in that they will not let him in anyway.

The good thing about it being an elective is that knowing this in advance you will be able to talk it through and see if you can come up with some coping strategies for your OH. Otherwise I would just take your mum in with you. I know if my OH had a tendency to faint I would have nominated my IM without hesitating - I needed someone strong with me there, not a liability! Part of your frank discussion should include the fact that you have no option yourself but to be strong, so he should work on it a bit too.

I'd just take your mother in with you, given his previous history. If he couldnt' cope with a normal birth, then he's not going to cope with a section.

And ignore my poorly placed apostrophe!

Not sure, with a CS he's sitting on the head site of the screen, so won't have to see anything.

However, I'd discuss it with the consultant beforehand

thanks for your thoughts! It did occur to me that the theatre was likely to be rather crowded....and I dont want my birth partner being sick or running away from me. Apparently DH's father was the same as DH when my MIL was in labour with her two children!

I had both my dh & mum with me for my elective sections but not for the emergency one. Largely because the elective theatre is bigger than the one on labour ward & also the electives were done by consultant who ime are far more flexible & willing to consider special requests than the registrars are.

Mum & dh stayed with my while I had the spinal done & once the surgery began dh sat with me & my mum waited with the midwife ready to take the baby :)