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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Pampering yourself immediately after childbirth and in the first few months

42 replies

vanillacinamon · 06/05/2011 13:33

Just curious really and not sure whether this is the right sub category. I know it is a very individual thing but what if anything did you buy yourself or want to buy yourself in the first few weeks /months after childbirth to make yourself feel looked after? I realise it is a bit of a wide and vague question and could range from anything obviously like make up, nice bath products, clothes etc to more lifestyle things like "a meal out with the DH/DP" or "booked a holiday"

In other words when you had a new born what did you do and particularly what did you want to buy to look after yourself and make yourself feel nurtured (so Im not specifically thinking of things like "more clothes for the baby" etc but more things for you).

In my case I remember wanting a particular nail varnish which I bought myself on the internet and then waited about 2 and 1/2 weeks before I actually had 20 mins uninterrupted to paint my nails LOL

But what was it in your case?

OP posts:

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Jemma1111 · 06/05/2011 13:38

I just wanted to have a 3o min soak in the bath uninterrupted!

porpoisefull · 06/05/2011 13:43

I was going to say baths too - with lavender and chamomile oil (supposed to be good for healing)

nervatious · 06/05/2011 13:52

Hmm Vanilla you sound like a bit of a consumerist...why do you need / want to spend money on stuff to pamper yourself? Or are you starting a business and looking for new ideas?
You just seem very focused on buying things that's all. Just spend a bit of time being nice to yourself and allowing yourself a shopping-free couple of hours maybe? Buying things is unlikely to make you feel nurtured in my opinion, perhaps a bit of nurturing would?

Lainey1981 · 06/05/2011 14:06

nervatious how about some examples of nurturing things so that instead of analysing the op you answer her question?

Op, for me it was just half an hour to switch off, be that a bath, a quick read, or going to the shop for milk by myself. For me it felt very all consuming suddenly never being alone.
Congrats and good luck with the birth if your dc

Lainey1981 · 06/05/2011 14:07

Oops just re read your post and realised you might not be currently pg.

Original poster

vanillacinamon · 06/05/2011 14:08

nervatious i dont consider myself to be a consumerist - hence I included some other things that i was looking forward to doing like having a meal with DH and looking into booking a holiday
not about to start a business. happy for you to say what you think a "bit of nurturing" (the end of your post) would involve if you wanted to
separately in response to porpoisefull one other thing i bought for myself was quite a lot of lavender oil from holland and barrett...

OP posts:

Original poster

vanillacinamon · 06/05/2011 14:25

lainey1981 thanks yes i have two tiny ones, youngest being 9 month so it is all fresh in the mind
midnight soaks in the bath were also a feature of my "newborn" days as a way to feel like a "grown up" as well as and separately from being my beautiful newborn's mummy

OP posts:

happywheezer · 06/05/2011 14:49

vanillacinamon -why shouldn't you feel nice or be kind to yourself?
My DS will be born on wednesday.
I have bought some sisley samples on ebay and creme de la mer to be kind to myself. I've also bought some new Bobbi Brown make up and Jo malone candle.
Nobody else is going to do it. I won't be able or want to go shopping for awhile afterwards.
I'm looking online at nice dresses to wear after the baby has been born. It gives me something else to think about and not just about the baby.
Also my hospital bag has lots of little dermalogica samples, just nice things which I asked when I went to some make up counters to put in there.
I prob won't get to use them but I will soon and that makes me feel much better.
Also, I did exactly the same for my friend who's having a baby in July as a birthday present.

CluckyKate · 06/05/2011 15:21

For me it was a tube of Aveeno hand cream and a sheepskin seatsaver to go on my saddle so I could get back on the horse when DS was 3 weeks.

Consumerist, moi? Yep

Original poster

vanillacinamon · 06/05/2011 15:33

happywheezer thanks for your great post
looking back yes I did crave "things" a bit but on reflection I dont think it was any more than normal shopping urges and if it was it was probably because breastfeeding and your restricted daily activities meant (for me at least) that one way to treat myself (and treating myself is one way i find to nurture myself because for me as you say nobody else was going to do it!!) was a bit of low level shopping and the internet is the easiest way for someone like me who felt a little bit housebound for some of the time.
CluckyKate, interested to hear about your seatsaver for your saddle - yes anything to do with a much loved passtime which you have to temporarily forgo for a short time is so good for the soul I think

OP posts:

nervatious · 06/05/2011 19:36

It's just a sad reflection of society, that when you think of nurture it immediately means, "buy things" for most people. Nurture literally means, "to nourish" ie feed, teach etc. So maybe get someone to cook for you, or read a book. Have a deep conversation or a nice bit of chocolate (the latter i do admit you may have to buy from a shop).

Or, rush to the internet / shops and try to find some item of clothing or expensive ointment and surround yourself with all your things to keep you warm, cos that's what the marketing wants you to think can possibly happen....

PS I am just bitter as i am extremely poor and could not afford most of the things you mention

PPS how is going out for a meal / going on holiday not a consumerist activity?

SardineQueen · 06/05/2011 19:58

Great anti-consumerism rant nervatious!

Not sure this is quite the right thread for it though...

Personally I wasn't up to deep conversations, or reading books when I had a newborn. I don't really desire chocolate. And it was a given that for the first bit at least I was cooked for...

vanilla do you know I can't remember! It was all such a haze... I think that I treated myself to some expensive food (or asked DH to get it rather!) and watched whatever the hell rubbish I wanted on telly!!! That's quite an indulgent activity! Didn't work that way with DD2 though..!

Chynah · 06/05/2011 21:28

For me it was getting back out for that first post birth run 5 weeks after both ELCSs - felt fantastic even though only managed a couple of miles.

violetwellies · 06/05/2011 21:43

I would love to get out on the nag however as lm booked in for a section, can't see that happening in a hurry :) also someone woud have to look after the bairn... any volunteets?

Zimbah · 06/05/2011 22:05

Nice pyjamas as I spent a lot of time in them!

bibbitybobbityhat · 06/05/2011 22:12

I know exactly what you mean nervatious.

There was absolutely nothing that could be bought in the shops that would have made me feel more human while looking after a newborn. With the possible exception of flowers and really top notch ready meals. I only wanted a bit of extra sleep and other people to cook for me and keep the house in order. Very kind people did buy me little luxuries, but I would rather have been asleep in bed and slightly grubby than soaking in a bath of luxury whatever. Let alone painting my toenails ffs!

Beamur · 06/05/2011 22:15

I would have liked my lazy arse OH to get out of bed and let me have a lie in. He was truly shite at this and 4 yrs down the line I'm still pissed off.
I don't know about 'pampering' but having a shower uninterrupted was a pleasure.

Flisspaps · 06/05/2011 22:17

I just wanted more than two hours uninterrupted sleep. Perhaps a mallet would have been on my shopping list, so I could knock myself unconcious with it.

kickingking · 06/05/2011 22:29

After having DS by cs, I washed and blow dried my hair daily from when I got home from hospital. I also wore a bit of make up every day. Still looked like shit though! I was lucky to have a an 'easy' baby, but the mere fact of attempting to make any kind of effort with a new baby seems to offend some people no end. Tis very strange.

I wish I had spend more on clothes to wear post pregnancy and while breastfeeding. I couldn't work out what I was supposed to wear though so I don't know what I would have bought.

kleeen · 07/05/2011 10:26

"consumerist" or not, is totally irrelevant.

who says a holiday can't be some time away from the hustle and bustle of everyday (London, in my case) life, in a cabin in the woods, where you can spend some quality time with DC and DP, going on long walks, enjoying each other's company...a treat, yes. Consumerist, I think not.

surely each person has their own way of relaxing, decompressing and doing something that feels good. what works for one, does not work for all. And that's probably a good thing.

wigglesrock · 07/05/2011 11:16

We booked a holiday, had dd3 11 weeks ago and am heading off next month. What I really could do with is someone to look after the other 2, the newborn is easy peasy

bessie26 · 07/05/2011 11:38

I have a soak in the bath every night, have ordered myself some nice bf tops and some half price Easter eggs from hotel chocolat

happywheezer · 07/05/2011 14:08

Also, to add to your post vanilla, I've booked a "sun holiday", you know the ones where you have to collect tokens. Hardly, splashing out, for a weekend in Brixham, two months after the baby has been born.

It gives me something else to look forward to and the idea of the sea air and crab sandwiches are my idea of heaven!

Chynah · 07/05/2011 21:13

Kickingking - know what you mean I always got up dressed and made up after both of mine there was no way I was staying in PJs all day!

kickingking · 08/05/2011 11:53

Chyhah - I was determined not to end up in my pjs all day, so I would be in the shower at 7 every day.

Now, however, DS (4 years old) and I can be found in our pjs at 10.30 on the days I don't work...that's going to have to change in September!

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