What does labour feel like?

[NewMummy5July2011]

Hi
I'm 31 weeks with my first and now that my NCT classes have begun, I'm really starting to think more about the labour. I'm half terrified/half excited!

I am intersted in reading more about birth experiences generally, and finding out more what labour actually feels like. I really am hoping to give birth naturally (Tens and Gas and Air) but of course realise the pain may get too much and am open to more drug relief such as an epidural.

Can anyone explain what it felt like? The worst pain of your life or is it not as bad as that? I suppose I have moments of sheer panic where I think I won't be able to cope, and others where I feel very positive about the whole thing.

Any advice or thoughts would be really great.

Thank you. x

I had a horribly long 72 hours labour (apparently some of it was 'pre-labour - but it all felt pretty similar to me). Once my waters were broken each contraction felt like someone hitting me in the lower abdomen until I couldn't breathe! I had a tens machine (ran through 3 sets of batteries) gas and air, pethidine and an epidural! I am not good with pain. Still it was all worth it as it meant I wouldn't be pregnant much longer and I'd have a beautiful baby at the end.
Some of my friends managed fine with just a tens machine. Everyone is different.

Oh and don't pay too much attention to how long someone says they were in labour for. I used to freak out at the thought of a 48 or 72 hour labour but it's not the hours that make the difference.. there will be people with a 4 hour labour who remember it as being more traumatic than a 36 hour one etc. I had a woman in clinic who had had 5 kids and said her worst labour ever was only two hours, her best 72. Or you could have a horrendous 72 like the poster above.. but the hours themselves don't make it hard or easy, the level of pain makes the difference.

I could say that my labour actually started on my due date. I thought I'd leaked water (yes, I pee'd myself) and went to the maternity assessment centre where they put me on the monitor and I was contracting every 5 minutes for about a minute at a time. The midwife sent me home saying she expected to see me again that night! I didn't show up again for 12 nights after that! I had labour on and off with contractions lasting up to an hour then going away (false labour they call it, but it felt exactly the same as early labour, although I wasn't to know that at the time). Several nights it really seemed to start - an hour of contractions, a half an hour off, another hour of contractions.. but it never really got going.

I found out afterwards this sort of stop-start labour is common enough when a baby is back to back, but at the time I just got on with it. It was like two weeks of pretty intense, peaking period cramps but the only bit that really upset me was that it never got going! I would get so excited and then nothing. I was induced on a drip in the end and even then it took ages to really build up.

It will be unique to you, that's about the only certainty!

My two birth were very different.
First, my early stage was a day and a night before my official labour (24hrs) started. Early stage was like very bad period pains so stayed in bed all that time. I also had no definite on and off of pains it was a constant period pain ache with some peaking of pain. They also lasted 90 - 120sec (midwife confidently told me they never last long than 60-70 sec, held my tummy and timed during one and then had to admit I was right) Also contractions were occurring erratically (ranging from every 5 to 20min, would have a hour of them every 5 min then dropped back down). The cramps filled my whole body and were very intense by the end but not the worst pain ever just all consuming (for example I'd much rather do my labour than have a sharp pain like fingernails pulled off). The last pushing bit where the head came out felt like I was trying to poo a brick and that I was about to do some major damage but that bit over very quickly- all was fine downstairs and was a normal VB.
Second was much more text book. Period type cramps coming and going getting more regular, then 5 hours in started on the gas and air. In between contractions I could talk and felt relatively nothing, then a contraction would hit and it was like the cramp you get in your leg but full bodied (haven't been electrocuted but can imagine muscles do something similar) My husband kept telling me to breath but my chest muscles were contracted so couldn't move to breath. Again not the worst pain in the world but all consuming. official labour of 3 hours (8hrs from start to finish) and again pooing brick feeling but very quickly over and a normal VB.
Both times I labored and gave birth on all fours. Any time I had to lie on my back it was incredibly uncomfortable and just felt wrong. Like all the weight was lying on my internal organs, pressing down and made me feel sick.
Good luck....believe that you can do it.

Oh, and I meant to add that apparently for most women you get to a stage when you think you can't do it, even if you've been coping well previously in the labour - but this is good, because it happens during transition, so you know you're nearly there! It happened to me. I can remember shouting 'it's too big, it won't come out' and the mw trying not to smile But DD did come out, splat, all in one go!

Early labour I found bearable - unpleasant, hot cramping pains for a minute or two, but then goes away. The last part - just before starting to push - I'm afraid I found awful. I can't explain how it felt but I just wanted to curl up and die. Both times. But it didn't last long. I managed with gas and air but I swore and screamed. Had to apologise afterwards to the midwives for my language.

All of this advice / hearing this is truly the best / most imformative I could have hoped for! Getting less nervous and more confident with each post I read. Even those births which sound like they were really difficult - just hearing everyone getting through it and coming out the other side - has made me realise I CAN do it regardless of how it goes. Thank you thank you thank you!

i tried for a home birth after doing hypobirthing but baby turned back to back and I am sorry to say the pain was horrendous..like someone sawing through my back...I used gas and air until 8cm when admitted to hospital and then had epidural...the midwives said..oh here is the backbreaker labour when I arrived...the hazard of a OP position baby! I had a C-section second time as felt could not go through that again.....

I'm expecting my 2nd, and although I only gave birth to my first nearly 14 months ago, the memory of the pain is fuzzy. You really do forget.

I managed the whole thing with a TENS at home, and only headed to the hospital when my contractions started coming every 2-3 mins. It was hard going from then, but by the time I'd got there it was pretty much time to push so I never got the chance to use anything else, even though I'd been open to it. So, in that respect it wasn't too bad.

I remember the first few contractions being like bad indigestion or period cramps, after that it becomes a bit hazy. I was very withdrawn in labour, almost going into myself and not really minding that my husband was sleeping (it was nighttime and we'd assumed things would take longer than they did, so I encouraged to take the sleep sooner rather than later). I was very focused on breathing and pacing in a rhythm to help that breathing. I always felt on top of the pain that way, and the few contractions where I was distracted were the worst. The rest were manageable. Once I started pushing, pain wasn't an issue as I was too focused on the pushing to notice. And I remember the crowning not being as bad as I'd expected.

I'm always surprised to see women looking lucid between contractions and chatting and laughing away. I felt quite uncomfortable with an achy back between the contractions and felt really dazed, but it was the middle of the night, and unfortunately had only had around 4 hours sleep the night before so perhaps that's why.

I'm hoping for another labour like my first!

I actually almost enjoyed the labour contractions. I had gentle waves building up over a period of days. I used hypnosis which worked really well, I was there in the room, but not quite aware of it all. Hard to explain. I'm definitely not afraid of labour pains anymore, anyway. Intense, but not painful per se. Again, hard to explain. I swore a bit and used a hot water bottle.

Then everything went pear shaped as they suddenly suggested I have an epidural! I wish I hadn't listened.

I'd say, stick with gas and air if you can, move about. Good luck!

DS's birth was a 24 hour labour start to finish, can't really remember what the early stages felt like. I remember using tens and deep breathing through contractions though. Being examined was unbelievably painful and I had pethidine. They also gave me an anti-emetic at the same time so after that I felt well enough to use gas and air.

DD's birth was much quicker - 12 hours from first contractions, 4 hours active labour. It was much much harder than my first labour. Contractions were far more painful and pushing more intense. The crowning moment was more painful as well, but I managed with just gas and air in a pool. DD was heavier than ds and tried to come out with her arm alongside her head so that's probably why it was so much harder.

both times the pain would start in my back then move round. Later in labour my body would just push of its own accord. I didn't get an 'urge' it jus happened. the contraction would reach its peak and then everything just clenched (almost like an orgasm but painful rather than pleasant)

Does everyone find being examined unbelievably painful? It was my main motivating factor in getting epi, avoiding that. Interested to know..

I was induced. My labour stung like billy-o and I got massive stomach-upset style cramping as well.

That said, the pain itself was not so bad (I've had pneumonia and that was much more painful) but the frequency of contractions meant I just couldn't seem to manage the pain, so I had an epidural.

Yes it is different for everyone! For what it is worth - and purely to add my (somewhat unusual) experience to the melting pot - I would share it with you.

But both my deliveries were the same...Not painful in any way I would recognise just incredibly powerful. It was as though my usually obedient 'subconscious' brain just decided to take charge - I was semi-conscious for most of the time and have no recollection of chunks of time. No drugs were involved I was just being sidelined by my practical brain that was getting on with the job as it were. Luckily I had my farmer husband and Health Visitor mum on hand to deal with everything and possibly that is why I felt able to 'switch off'.

Unusually too both times I was simply not aware of first stage at all (which first MW thought was an impossibility!). Indeed I was shopping, at an auction and eating lunch out that day. Second stages 3 and 2 hours respectively and though I tore and needed stitches it did not hurt. I have talked to a lot of people about it and the only explanation anyone can come up with is that I was so totally cooperative that my subconscious brain did not feel the need to clobber me with pain to enable it to get on with the job! It begs the fascinating question of 'what is the pain so many experience in chidbirth for?'

Now all through the (planned) pregnancies I had slept when I was sleepy ( my job was home based!) drunk lots of water, eaten good food and shunned those that my body turned against - I had been a 'good girl' in other words. I knew I was pregnant from implantation when the smell of coffee revolted me that morning and I had to get up in the night to wee. I never needed a pregnancy test which was amusing when I went to my first ante-natal clinic and they wondered how I knew - I laughed!

Although I had lots of morning sickness - which cleared when I had been sick - I felt really good during pregnancy. Sad really as one can't be pregnant all the time. The hormones really suited me. So the only potentially useful suggestion I can offer is 'go with the flow' throughout pregnancy and listen and obey the sub-conscious brain - not sure how anyone could actually test that though.

BTW both babies were big - 8lb 5oz and 8lb 10oz and I was a 5'1" and 8st titch. Despite births being so easy I would give a lot to have had CS if I had my time again. Babies fine but I lost out...

Very best wishes to all you soon-to-be's!

First time it was long and I was begging for an epidural after intending a natural, drug-free birth. I was told to lie down and rest which I think was a big mistake, as everything ground to a halt. Ended up with diamorphine. Felt fantastic and invincible after that and managed natural delivery of 10Lb DS!.

Second time made sure to stay upright as much as possible, and much better at breathing through contractions whilst staying as calm as possible. Crowning most painful part for me but didn't last long. Even though first time was hard, I felt as though my body knew what to do. Worst pain, yes, but so intense you can't stop to think of anything else, then it's over and you have your lovely babe to cuddle.

Biggest helps for me were:
Bath, then another, and another
TENS machine. Great - didn't take it off until well after the birth!
Breathing/calm/nice stuff to do in early labour like listening to relaxing CD etc

Good luck!

Mine started after my waters broke. It was a constant heavy ache in my back. I had NO idea it was going to be there. Never told me that in NCT ante natal!
It steadily got worse throughout the nite resulting in severe back pain and cramps, aches and pain till gallons or what seemed like gallons of epidural and 35 hours later our Son arrived!

I also had DTA amongst other problems. I will probably not have any more due to the horrors.

Another DTA here with my second. I thought second births were meant to be easier!!! ended up a Kielland's birth too, lucky no damage to DS but I'm left with problems.
It was vvv painful and much much more so than my first delivery.

A normal delivery is not too bad pain wise, if you can keep on top of the fear.

Good luck :)

so quite a few fellow DTAs here, all with similar experiences by sound of it... why oh why didn't my m/w tell me after, oh i don't know, maybe 24 hours of active labour and still only 4cm dilated that there was probably a problem... i felt like such a failure for 'giving up' after 42 hours of regular strong contractions but no progression at all...

Labour feels great if you have an epidural (I have 3 kids and had 3 lovely epidurals).

Also if you are a control freak, I suggest you work on letting that go, as labour is really the first in a long road of parenting events where you need to accept that you are not entirely in control.

If you can't accept that, and still need some outlet for your controlling instincts, I suggest you stop worrying about labour and focus on educating yourself on newborn care (i.e. the 6 months after you give birth). Labour is just one day, you'll get through it. What comes after is (in my opinion) far more challenging.

I had an epidural with my first and found it frustrating because I couldn't feel that I was pushing anything. I had nothing at all for my second because I was in a birth centre and the only option was G&A which I couldn't bear the first time. For me labour pains were like the cramp in your calf that you wake up with in the middle of night -really intense pain and then when I was pushing I had a burning sensation in my vagina and also a sense that I was actually going to rip apart. The thing is though, I didn't - I only had a graze and didn't need any stitches, but the piles...
Also I was as high as a kite for about two weeks afterwards - I don't know if it was adrenaline from all the pain, but it was great! Maybe I was just so happy not to be pregnant anymore, because I was nauseous constantly throughout the entire pregnancy.
On the bright side I have two fabulous children who are definitely worth it all!
Good luck!
ps It wasn't the worst pain in my life - that was when the catheter was pulled out after a bladder operation I think what is difficult about labour pains is that they go on for so long and you get very tired and (sorry if TMI) but a baby's head very low down is very uncomfortable...

Proper contractions for me were no different to the 'painful braxton hicks' I had in the days leading up to labour. It wasn't that the contractions weren't that bad, it's the BHs that were a bugger! For me the pain was like someone was pulling my bum up, by threads, from the inside. The pressure/power was immense and I remember feeling very panicked by it with my DS. Everything was worse when on back on monitor etc - so stay relaxed and mobile if you can.

with my DD I can safely say I enjoyed the labour. It was long, it was painful, but it felt really positive and I had a huge endorphine rush after each contraction. I think being uber relaxed about it all helped (and being at home for it).

The thing labour sort of reminded me of is when you have a tummy bug. Your body takes over, you have no control at all. Don't fight it or panic . Resign yourself to it and relax and breathe through it.

Oh and the pushing bit feels very strange. You feel bones moving apart (or I did) and a rather extreme stinging as they crown. But really, really don't worry about that bit. By that point you won't give a toss and will just want them out. It's a relatively short lived bit.

I spent my whole labour thinging i needed at number 2 :)
I kept pushing when i was not allowed which made me scream because all the midwife kept saying was DONT PUSH YOU WILL GET PILES lol but i really felt like i was needed the loo she tried to give me gas and air but it made me feel sick so i said no lol then i was on the bed got told i could now push lol i was conviced i was not in labour just need the loo but then i got a sensation of tingles downstairs and it turned into burning and ou came the head then really no more pain as the body cam out and i had my Beautful baby and no more pain which is ace :)

o and buy the way i didnt get piles so the midwife was wrong hahaha :)

Everyone's different, so don't take fright at some of the birth horror stories here - statistically they probably won't happen to you.
My best advice is to go into it all really positively ('it will all be fine and I'll have an easy natural birth') but be prepared to change if circumstances dictate (you will need dh on side here as you may not be at your most logical!). Be prepared to need/accept pain relief if you have any interventions - this can be anything from induction (drug induced or waters being broken), to vaginal exams (and no, they are not obligatory, or normally needed, and you can just refuse to have one), to just someone suggesting that something is going wrong (like the mnetter above who was doing fine in the water at home till the mw panicked she couldn't find the heartbeat). Any intervention, or any genuine problem such as those related above, can result in severe pain, and there is no shame in taking drugs - you can have a filling at the dentist without anaesthetic but it doesn't win you any prizes!
However if your body is allowed to get on with the process in its own time and its own way, chances are the whole thing will go pretty smoothly and will be fairly pain free, especially if you can stay relaxed (bizarrely constantly checking your mouth is relaxed does the same for down there!).
Personally I would happily go through either of my two labours again - dd probably about 17 hrs start to finish, but only realised I was in labour (she was two weeks early and I was convinced she would be late and was worrying about fighting off an induction!) with 5 hours to go. I thought I had really bad indigestion. Last few hours were like really bad period pains, but no worse, crowning you think you must be ripping in two for a second, but of course you're not.
ds - not sure I can talk much about labour as he was 10 mins start to finish - 2 or 3 period like cramps, urge to push, two pushes, baby. Spent the next few hours being treated for shock, but I recommend missing out the labour part altogether!
So basically, like everyone says, we are all different. Get all the information you can (do hypnobirthing, it's fab, and stops dh feeling like a spare part on the day) make a plan, but be prepared to be flexible. Our bodies are amazing and the chances are yours will do it all for you, but modern medical science is there for us, thank God, when it all goes wrong, so don't be ashamed to need it.
Good luck, it is one of the most incredible experiences we have in life - and then actually having a baby in your arms is even better!