if you didnt tear the first time...did you there after?

[mamaesi]

I had a fairly quick and easy birth the first time but I am still terrified for the second time...

the stitches/tear is the biggest fear...

am I stretched out now? will the massaging of the perenium help?

tell me your experiences

I tore slightly during my third labour when I hadnt with the first two.

Tbh it wasnt nearly has horrendous as I thought it would be so try not to worry.

The m/w gave me entonox while she was doing the stitching which was over and done with very quickly.

The stitches/tearing had me more anxious about my second than my first as I thought I would never be lucky enough to get away with it again . . . But thankfully I was.
I'd worried myself sick about it on the lead up to it all as well!

I hadn't done much to prepare either, just a little bit of massage. Hopefully you'll be fine too!

Probably not what you want to hear but

1st:small 1st degree tear - few stitches 1st time; no issues
2nd:large 3rd/4th degree tear - lots of stitches under anasthesia; not good with some permanent issues.

My tears were mainly due to baby with hand (and arm) out by head delivery both times with very quick delivery.I did warn the (trainee) midwife I'd been quick the 1st time but she didn't manage the 2nd birth appropriately IMO - dc2 came out too quick and not controlled.Baby was 2lb heavier as well.

You just can't tell what will happen: although I think a good midwife makes all the difference.My antenatal midwife who was very experienced told me she had delivered a lady who had torn badly (3rd degree) at the first two births delivered by a different midwife, but she had no stitches when she delivered her the third time.

Really can't worry about it though as it is out of your control...

Just make sure someone experienced stitches you up if you do tear and you ask the degree of tear (if 3rd or above should be senior surgeon in theatre).

A little tear like my first one was not an issue at all from being stitched, to recovery and the vast majority of tears are small.

No tear with first or second here.

No tearing with first or second! Didn't do any massage etc.

didn't have any stitches with 3 children - small tears but not that bad. biggest difference was having a fabulous midwife coaching me through it all, telling me when to push and when not to. i didn't do any perineal massage

No tear with the first, although I did have an internal haematoma which needed a stitch up in theatre after the event.

Second was CS.

Small tear with the third, but mainly because she shot out so quickly. Clearly the stretching from the first birth had no effect whatsoever! No lasting problems, though, just a bit sore for a couple of weeks.

No massaging, or anything like that beforehand (who has the time?!).

No tearing with any of my 5 I think I had a small graze with the first.

thats semi promising... thanks for responses

i do think its great when the midwife really guides you...but on the nhs you dont know who you get in a busy london hospital.

i am concerned with it coming too fast as my first only had a two hour labour and very quick delivery

I've not torn with any of my three, with the third I pushed like mad at the end to get it over with quickly knowing that as I hadn't torn the first two times I probably wouldn't again.

I'm a midwife and usually if someone tells me that they didn't tear the first time I anticipate that they won't the next time, it is unusual although obviously if the baby is a lot bigger or in a difficult position it can happen.

Some people tear badly despite calm controlled births and some shoot babys out without any damage, to a great extent it is how you are built, although there may be occasional cases where a quick birth makes women more likely to tear.

1st - 2 hrs labour, no tearing at all
2nd - 15 min labour, small graze/tear - but not requiring any stitches and healed v quickly, not particularly painful

I didnt tear on either of my two and Dc2 was 1lbs bigger and only had a 2 minute pushing stage.