Suggestions on the best possible present for a new mother (rather than her baby?)

[notkidsyetbutadviceneeded]

Off to spend the weekend in the country with some very dear friends that had their second son arrive about a month ago. Would like to spoil the mother a little bit (seems unfair otherwise given the amount of work she's done!). I already have presents for both children. I don't have kids yet so mumsnet seemed like a good place to get some expert advice on the kind of thing a new mother would really appreciate. A bit of background; she's very intelligent, reads a lot, has full-time help at home (so babysitting vouchers/frozen meals not required). I thought that an oversized cashmere cardigan or similar might be a nice idea as she could wear it around the house but I would greatly appreciate your comments on the best new-mother present you got (or that you're hoping for!). I want something quite luxurious that will make her smile.

Thanks in advance!

If it was me again, I'd be most pleased by champagne or posh chocs (Hotel Chocolat for example). However, your suggestion sounds lovely too, though to be honest, it doesn't sound like she needs much!

How about a really posh handcream? You're constantly washing your hands with a small baby, and mine get horribly dry and chapped. Cashmere cardy is a lovely idea, although how much wear she'll get out of it in the short time might depend on how sicky her baby is - I can't really wear anything like that as the dry cleaning bills would be horrendous! If she doesn't mind leaving her children (and isn't breastfeeding) spa treatment vouchers might go down well? If she's still bf a tiny baby though she'd probably struggle to get there any time soon.

Hi both: thank you! Lovely, lovely ideas, the hand cream could work, maybe with some nice chocs. She is breast feeding so nice cheese and bubbles are sadly off the table apparently. Didn't occur to me that the baby might be sick (oh, how much us non-mothers have to learn) on the cardigan, maybe I'll just slip it into a basket with the other things and she can use it when the baby is asleep. Spa voucher is a lovely idea but she's not keen on leaving them alone any time soon, maybe at their 18th birthday!

Thank you both again, this has been very helpful :)

If she plans to breastfeed, maybe a lightweight wrap that can be used as a coverup? Or some nice toiletries, handcream as suggested or bath oil etc. Something special like a nice piece of jewellery may be appreciated now even if not worn much until later. Personally I'd also like some books, baby related or not.

A good friend just bought me a lovely Radley bag which is quite large, fabric rather than leather and could be used as a changing bag. It's very much appreciated to get something that is both thoughtful and also recognises that I am still the same person, though soon to be a mum. (She had her first baby last year so has a good idea of the change in role.)

How lovely are you?!

-- Wine.
-- Massage (she can take the BF baby with her and hope it sleeps - this is what I did and they just snuggled in the corner in the car seat whilst I was being massaged - back / shoulders and head only - was amazing).
-- Kindle (too pricey?)
-- Pretty nursing bras (I just had the bog standard Jojo Maman ones, which are hideous but very functional - I later got some Hot Milk ones from DH which are much prettier but still practical).

But your cashmere cardi sounds lovely as well. I had a sicky baby second time around and I did basically smell of cheese and look manky (congealed baby sick on every lapel going) for 2 months until she grew out of it, but the baby DOES sleep a lot so it would be lovely to NOT look and smell like mouldy feet for a small amount of time each day. So I would get her that (plus the wine - it's a myth you can't drink and BF).

Hand cream sounds good to me.

Could you get her a voucher for a mobile spa - maybe a pedicure, now she can see her toes again :o (would also make it possible to feed baby during treatment if they woke up starving at just the wrong time...)

If she reads a lot, would she appreciate book tokens?

Did your friend tell you she couldn't have mouldy cheese (sorry - I know lots of people love it but I'm not a fan ) and wine? I've known some women choose to drink in moderation while BF and others that prefer to abstain - certainly till the baby's older. Current advice is to stick to a unit or two once or twice a week. I can't find and haven't heard anything about avoiding smelly cheese while BF. At the end of the day, though, if your friend believes there to be a risk and isn't happy to take it (whether its real or not) then giving her a present that she doesn't feel able to consume wouldn't go down too well.

If it were me, I'd probably put a cashmere cardy in the cupboard until DC was considerably older - DD refused to sleep unless she was on me (preferably while BF) so my life in the first 8 months seemed to consist of changing a baby, feeding a baby and holding a sleeping baby while in a state of undress. Any of those states had the potential to result in what clothes I was wearing getting covered in a selection of bodily products... For the right mother with the right baby it would be a lovely gift, but for me and DD it would have been a waste (or I'd have given all my maternity pay to the dry cleaners!)

You sound like a lovely friend - I"m sure whatever you get will be appreciated :)

Tell her she can have any cheese she likes while breastfeeding. Any at all. Great present right there.

The best present I got for me was a food hamper. It had cakes, biscuits, crackers, cheese, fudge and all sorts in it. I was so damn hungry breastfeeding and it was lovely having a box of treats just for me.

I get so hot all the time that cashmere cardi, while lovely, would not have been ideal. Cashmere socks maybe?

Hand cream and nail oil would be great. I ended up with the hands of a crone after about a week.
A Kindle so she can read while BF or a stack of magazines?
Cashmere cardie lovely but I would have wrecked it with leaking milk and baby rubbing on it. Gorgeous lounge wear from White company or somewhere would have been ideal!

Wow, talk about helpful! Right, I've printed this thread out and will be taking it with me tomorrow on a mini shopping spree (battling the wedding crowds!). I think I'm going to go for a themed basket with the hand cream, chocs, a cardi that she can use when not bf, a few books, snacking biscuits and a few book tokens (had forgotten she has a kindle). Also, maybe something like a rubber duck or the LOLcat translation of the b. perhaps? I'd like to include something funny.

Thank you all for your wonderful advice, us yet-to-be-mums need your help! This baby malarky seems to involve all sorts of things that have never even occurred to me before. I shall certainly be back for your expert advice when I have my own little ones! Do let me know if you think of anything else. I really appreciate all of you taking the time to help out!

Can I suggest amazon vouchers instead of the book tokens? Then she can either download books for her kindle or go the trad route (I had a kindle for Xmas and love getting vouchers so I can browse the ebook store).

Your hamper sounds amazing though, what a lovely friend you are.

Gosh, can you be my friend?! If you want something funny, you could try a "pee pee tee pee" - google it - silly but amazingly useful with a baby boy!! Although not sure where you'd get them other than online.

www.vont.co.uk/product/72/1083/Womens-Thermal-Mug.html
A mug like is good when breastfeeding/ juggle 12 things at once and you forget your drink.

Include low caff coffee and a nice box of Mama teas they do a glowing one

Magazine Subcription something to look forward to each month.

www.mamababybliss.com/shop/products/new-mum-gifts/bliss-stick-new-mums.php

nail polish without all the badstuff

Pop some of this in with the hand cream I heard this is very good along with the soap
handcream

bump would like to know what you bought in the end.

Posh handcream. She will be washing her hands a million times a day. In a dispenser she can use one handed.