When to have sex again? (TMI alert)

[niamh29]

it's nearly 3 weeks since my DD was born and I feel I'm mentally ready to have sex but don't know if I should physically. I had an episitomy and a few days later some of the stitching came undone and I was left with a gape next to the vaginal opening, I haven't had any soreness for a week but I had a feel and I think the gape is still there, as much as I'd like to have sex I'm worried about doing more damage, how long should I wait and how will I know I'm fully healed?

Ooh, be careful... if you're not completely comfortable I wouldn't risk it yet. Maybe get your stitches checked out by a midwife or nurse at the GP surgery?

I'm almost 6 weeks gone since baby was born. We finally did the deed last night. I wanted to make sure I felt completely ready.

I'd definitely get checked before you do anything. 3 weeks is VERY early days still.

And you might find that, even when everything looks physically healed, sex could still be too uncomfortable for a while. We tried after 9 weeks as everything seemed fine, but my word... in the end it took 6 months before I felt back to normal! So my advice would be don't put too much pressure on yourself and be disappointed if things take longer than you expect.

I think if you have had problems with your stitches you should get them looked at first. Are you still seeing the midwife or would you be able to pop into your GP surgery?

On the other hand, we had sex again at 10 days. I had an episiotomy too. I'm not going to say it wasn't sore but it was good. I recommend lots of lube just to put your mind at rest.

Omg! 10 days?! My daughter was born in may and I didn't have sex until December and even then it hurt like hell! I'm impressed!

My mw said no sex for six weeks (second degree tear with stitches). Apparently it's the infection risk.

Am at 9 weeks - the mind is willing, but the body's not sure. Still have some lochia (browny/yellow), and stitches still ache sometimes (2nd degree tear). Will get checked at the drs perhaps.

Waited 5 weeks but had a c-section, was quite uncomfortable at first but enjoyable once we got going I waited several weeks after the scar started feeling less like it was pulling. If you have a 'gape' as you put it you may want to get it checked out by GP first just in case of infection/tearing risk. Even if you do go for it you may not feel back to normal straight away, it took me five months before my insides felt right during sex, not to say it wasn't enjoyable before that, but starting off was always a bit uncomfortable.

Had second degree tear and also lost a stitch after about a week, Doctor advised again sex and tampons for a while. Didn't have sex for nearly five months as it took so long to heal

You're not supposed to have sex for six weeks after childbirth as there is an infection risk- your womb/cervix are not fully healed yet.

And you need to go and see someone about your stitches-unless you want to have unsightly vulva for the rest of your life.

I had an episiotomy too and I made sure I was completely healed before having sex (at 8 weeks). There was no way I was going to mess up my healing and then start from scratch again. You are better off waiting until you are confident that you have healed before doing it. I doubt you will be able to relax if you are worried about tearing or pain.

I think you should wait for your 6 week check before having penetrative sex, to be perfectly honest.

You can still have fun in other ways, but honestly, if you had a cut or tear, you must be 100% sure you are fully healed before attempting anything penetrative, as you could do yourself serious damage.

I think your priority is to have yourself checked out and definitely do not have sex yet.

I had a section and only had sex at 6 weeks because I thought you were meant to so you could tell the doctor if there was any problems. Normal delivery with my other children and I have no idea when we first had sex.