Visiting - you wait 'til you're invited, surely?

[owlmaster]

Just wondering what your experiences are.

Personally I'm surprised that people are announcing when they will be visiting (both in late pg i.e. 39+ weeks and also in the newborn days.) Partly because, well, who knows when it'll happen and how it'll go, but also because it just seems rude to me. I've always asked when it suits the person I want to visit, especially toward the end.

(As an aside, my partner and I have discussed the reasons to wait and see how it goes, avoid overstimulating a new baby etc. Also my MW at the antenatal class very strongly advocated the principle that visitors are welcome if the come to help, not if they come to be entertained.)

A mate of mine pulled out of meeting up today (39weeks) and has rainchecked for 2 weeks time. I'm going to get to cuddle a week old baby

ELCS next week and she says she'll be climbing the walls once DC4 has made his appearance

[/thread hijack]

JimmyChoo I found that I still needed my ability to be abrupt and forward with a newborn - keep it, it may well come in handy!!

I've not got any babies yet (am 22wks) but my dh's step-mum keeps trying to get herself invited to the home birth we're having - "but my daughter couldn't have her home births, and I really need to be at one!" - erm, this isn't a spectator sport! You'll come visit when I'm ready!

He hee pootle now Ive got that trait...I dont want to give it up!! :)

I didn't mind people popping in. They all bought cake and chocolate and lovely gifts for the baby, and none of them outstayed their welcome - hour, tops, in most cases

And with DC2 and 3, the GPs had the older one/s, so had to visit as they were bringing the kids back with them!

Thanks for helping me in my decision to be tough. I had a party for all my friends at Xmas (20 weeks) and decided after that it was up to them to make the effort for a change, very few of them have but I know as soon as the baby is here they'll all want to come visit, trying to get up the nerve to tell them where to stick there visits as they have hardly been in touch since Xmas!! On the other hand I have a couple of close friends who I have told are welcome to visit when ever but they know they won't be entertained (wouldnt expect to be) and will not take offence when told to leave!!

With dc 4 I had mil over for the 2nd day as dh was at work, what was meant to be her coming yo help turned into me doing everything while she sat cuddling bub! She couldn't even be bothered to fix her own drink let alone get me 1. My own mum was appalled when she came over after work to find her sat there while I was in tears trying to hang washing out, when asked why she hadn't offered to do it she replied I was waiting to be asked. Err hello you was when dh said can you come over n help with stuff that needs doing! After doing things I shouldn't of but did coz they needed doing my stitches came undone coz of pressure, so went on a mad rant, n with dc 5 we were phoned first to ask if it was ok to come!
Came home after dc 5 to find not just the 1 sis who was looking after my other dc's but the other 1 there too waiting to greet us with her 3kids! Wasn't to happy bout that so walked in said hello to my kids then said sorry but I'm tired I'm going to bed and took baby with me! And that was 2hrs after I'd just given birth! Have upset many people this time round with dc 6 coz ive told them all not to come over, coz actually it's to much and I'd just like it to be quiet when I get home, I don't wana make small talk wiv em! Although both sis have now refused to look after my other dc's which I think is petty but I do have lovely neighbours so b*ocks to em they'll be waiting even longer!