Do you think I should complain?

[happycamel]

I've posted this as an update to my earlier thread as well so apologies if you read this twice:

Monday (28th) night I had fairly regular contractions, about every 7 mins for 6 hours, which then stopped. Wednesday morning I had a placental haemorrage (we later found out) and went in for monitoring and was found to be 2 cm.

I had mild contractions until 3pm (while they faffed about trying to find me anti-D and a bed on antenatal unit). My waters broke at 3pm when I was found to be 7cm and I delivered at 6pm. The midwife was useless throughout because she couldn't get the hang of how quickly I was progressing and would disappear for an hour at a time, check me, squawk, write frantically in my notes and then piss off.

My mother turned up when I was in transition, she was a midwife although stopped practice in 1988. She delivered my baby. Was a fantastic birth, mum helped prevent me tearing and coached me through pushing.

Midwife never laid a hand on me or spoke directly to me between telling me she was going to check how dilated I was after my waters broke and that she wasn't going to move me from the monitoring room to antenatal if I was going to "start labouring" (I was 7cm), never made it to a proper delivery room.

I was then discharged after 6 hours because there was no room on post natal for me. The following day the called me in for the post natal check (was originally told it would be a home visit) I was there for 7 hours, waiting to be seen with a baby less than 24 hours old. They didn't provide food or drink for me. They couldn't tell me what was taking so long. I had to stay because I needed anti-D (still hadn't had it from bleed the previous morning so getting on for 36 hrs out of 72 max). Turns out I needed a double dose because bleed was so big. They then retained my post natal notes and can't track them down. I was too out of it after being there 7 hours to notice. Now I'm being yelled at by community midwife for "losing" them.

Should I complain? Please tell me if I'm over reacting. I had fab antenatal care and feel very let down and lucky to have had my mum there. BTW, I also had gestational diabetes but midwife wasn't interested in my blood sugar (DH did hourly readings as instructed by the antenatal team). My baby's blood sugar wasn't checked either although I was told it would be in case she had a hypo coming off my high blood sugar when the cord was cut.

Yes, you must complain. What if your mum hadn't been a trained midwife? You have been treated appallingly.

where was the MW when you were pushing?

at 7cm, with waters gone you should have been on labour ward

were you alone for the birth ?

yes, you should complain

F*ck me , that's terrible!! COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN!!!!

MW was there when I was pushing for some of the time but once she knew mum was a midwife she disappeared for about 20 mins (my mum and DH said, although the clock in the room was broken so I can't say for sure). She didn't speak to me or touch me while I was pushing. Apparently I kept asking my mum if I was in transition and saying "but I only came in for monitoring".

She was there when my mum delivered the baby, mum had put gloves on and the midwife had gone to the other side of the room to put some on so had her back to me.

I was never moved from the monitoring room because I'd got to 7cm in there and couldn't get off the bed after that.

it would be usual for a second MW to be called to deliver aswell

I am not sure if there is any issue in your mum actually putting gloves on and delivering, did she push the call bell or anything like that?

It is not acceptable that she left you alone for 20 minutes or so when you were in the second stage

did she monitor you , do any obs on you?

as you had GD and anti d issues, extra vigilance should have been given to you anway

Yes, you should complain and yes, they have not treated you well.

However, I would advise that you put it all to one side for a week or so, and concentrate on yourself and your wonderful baby. Congratulations by the way!

I offer this advice because I had a very traumatic (for me-too sensitive by half) time in hospital during labour and post-natally with DS1, and am only now (7 and a half years later!) unravelling the effects it had on me and DS1. I focussed too much on what was going wrong, and didn't notice all the things I was doing right!

Enjoy your Babymoon and get over the birth. And then sock it to 'em when you've got your breath back!

PLEASE COMPLAIN!!!! That is so awful!

And I agree with amistillsexy enjoy these early days with your new little one because they go fast!

There is plenty of time to complain properly when you have recovered.

Do complain - I wish I did but now it's 3 years ago since dd1 was born it's too late really. I'm still really bitter about my birth experience. Like you, mw refused to listen to me or take me seriously. She tried to send me home but I refused and dh asked for pain relief for me. She reluctantly gave me gas and air but took it away as I fainted (she should have just told me not to take so much!). DH kicked up a fuss (not his nature) and registrar came and assessed if I could have an epidural (mw made it clear she was doing this to give me a reality check as it was far too soon). Turned out I was 10cm and not even in a delivery room. Registrar was not happy with mw! Luckily, the shift was due to change so I got a lovely mw for the 25 mins of pushing. But I went from 1cm to 10cm in 1hour 10mins and mw had no idea, making out I was a wimp. I felt like such a failure and don't feel I coped with the pain. I could handle it until mw told me I had at least 12 hours ahead and it would get a lot worse (that was within 5mins of them discovering I was 10cm).

As a result dd was born naturally and very healthy. I tore badly, which I truly believe is largely due to the panic I was feeling and pure lack of support.

I'm now pg and before we even tried to conceive we saw a consultant to ask for CS - partially due to tearing and taking a year to recover but also due to me hating the idea of feeling so ignored at my most vulnerable.

I've since found out that a women in a similar situation ended up losing her baby as a result and I am sure from the description she had the same mw as me - it's only at tribunal stage so far so hasn't been named but it's likely to go to court so I'm waiting to find out. If it is, I will feel even more guilty for not reporting her.

Sorry for the essay. Don't take any crap - why is anyone having a go at you for losing notes. You are an adult and a new mum - no-one has the right to shout at you. Be strong and confident. You are completely entitled to your feelings. Don't watch One Born Every Minute - I do and cry most weeks at how different my birth was to those women.

Forgot to say - you can get a mw to go through your birth notes with you - I think it's after 4 months, which may give a bit of clarity.

thank you. I loved the fact mum delivered her and felt very well cared for by my mum and DH. Mum left us at 10pm and DH was waiting with me while they found me a place on postnatal and gave me anti D. Then we were told there were no beds but I should go home and community mw would give me anti d and do the postnatal check the next day.

My mum had everything ready when we got home, checked baby and I over and let us sleep. In the morning CMW says she has no anti d and isn't trained to do the check. She phones the hospital and tells us to get there at 13:30 for my anti D and baby's check. Finally get called for check at 3:30, 4 couples arrive in waiting room and leave before us. I keep asking about anti D and get told it will be dealt with in the appt. Also I have an allergic reaction to anti D so I need piriton 20 mins beforehand and they knew nothing about it and wouldn't give me any.

The paed knew nothing about the anti D. He called a midwife in and she says "we can't cope with you here, we're still full, you'll have to go to delivery". She went away for about 20 mins then came back and told us Delivery didn't want us because we were postnatal but she couldn't take us and anyway no one had got my anti D.

After another hour we were taken to Delivery. They put us in a room and then go away to find Piriton. About 20 mins after that I get the piriton, then have to wait another 20 mins for it to take effect. Then I get my first anti D, then we have to wait 20 mins to see how badly my reaction is. Then they give me the second shot. Then we wait again and finally I discharge myself at 19:30

Sorry, I know this is an epic post. I want to get it all written down now so I can refer back to it when I do complain (thanks for the comments above). Also it helps to let it out, IYSWIM.

I'm not traumatised at all by my baby's birth. It was fantastic my mum delivered her and looked after me and stopped me being scared and I think it was her holding my bits (sorry TMI) that stopped me tearing. I just feel a bit numb about the second day but all the days since have been fab because of the support I have from my mum and DH. Also that evening when we got home mum had dinner on the table and took my baby in with her that night so I could sleep properly and just brought her to me for feeds.

I just feel that I've had a brilliant week with my newborn in spite of what the hospital did to me rather than because of anything they did for me and that it could all have been so much worse without my mum.

Sorry to hear how shabbily you have been treated, happycamel. Definitely you have a genuine complaint.

Just to go through your post and pick up on a few points; first of all the Anti D. It would be acceptable practice, if you were in labour or were being admitted, to give you the Anti D anytime within the 72 hours. Normally blood transfusion want a sample, analyse it to see how much Anti D to give and then send it to you. This does take quite a long time, so its usually at least 24 hours before you get it. Also, once you have delivered, there is usually more mixing of babys blood into your system, so to have 2 vials of the stuff, while unusual, is perfectly reasonable.

It sounds quite negligent of the midwife to be leaving you for long periods of time when you were in obvious labour. She may have had other patients to look after as well but you should have at least been told this and shown how to call her, and when it was seen that you were in established labour, she should have stayed with you for much more of the time. Leaving you while pushing in 2nd stage is quite unforgivable.

One of my biggest concerns though is the fact that your mum delivered the baby while the midwife was nowhere hear you. Your mum (while undoubtedly doing a better job than the hospital midwife) will not have been covered by the hospitals vicarious liability insurance, and will probably not even be on the register as a midwife any longer, so should not have delivered baby. Obviously as a midwife, Im happy to let dads and relatives help deliver baby with me, but its very carefully controlled so that I can take over if they get a bit panicky or are not doing it properly, but it sounds more like your mum was acting as your midwife and the hosp midwife was just in a world of her own. In most London hospitals there is only one midwife at the birth though so she wouldn't need to call for a backup.

The lack of obs on you and baby is also very worrying as its likely that babys blood sugars could drop a lot, and baby and you should really have been kept in for 24 hours or so, esp after having had a placental bleed.
The postnatal issues sound like a continuation of the chaos surrounding your whole experience, although if they didn't have beds in the ward then the hospital was probably very busy while you were there. No excuse though.

Sorry about the length of this post but you certainly have good grounds for complaint, and its good advice to take some time out to enjoy baby first. I'd suggest jotting down the points that you want to make now though as your memory will not be so clear in a few weeks when you come to write a formal letter.

Hello mintpurple

Hi Lulu:):)

One of my biggest concerns though is the fact that your mum delivered the baby while the midwife was nowhere hear you. Your mum (while undoubtedly doing a better job than the hospital midwife) will not have been covered by the hospitals vicarious liability insurance, and will probably not even be on the register as a midwife any longer, so should not have delivered baby.

But if the OP had an unexpected homebirth anyone could have helped out in an emergency, so someone who was trained, even if no-longer practising is surely better? Presumably the insurance would only be a problem if something went wrong, but wouldn't the hospital still have been held to be negligent because they had failed to provide the staff?

I do think OP should complain - a letter stating the facts as written here would be a good start. I always wish I had complained about my ante-natal 'care', but I'd had the baby, she was fine, I was carried away with being a new mum, so it all got forgotten, and meanwhile some other poor woman suffers in the same way. Maternity services won't improve as long as women accept substandard care.

Hi, glad to hear that you and your baby are well and as for your labour experience, when you feel up to it, complain, complain, complain. A report on the RCM website today says that neonatal deaths have soared in 14 Trusts over the last couple of years (doesn't say which ones) and reading your post its not hard to see why. Sounds like you would have been safer at home with just your mum with you. I second what Margles says, maternity services won't improve as long as women accept substandard care.

there are legal implications possibly, esp as the mum put gloves on, but i agree the far more serious issue is the NHS midwife not delivering

OP needs to be aware that this could be an issue though

Yes, we are aware it could be an issue. Mum could see I was going to deliver in the next couple of pushes and grabbed some gloves. Midwife looked at me squawked, ran to the far side of the room to put on gloves, she was still wrestling with them as Mum eased my baby out.

If mum hadn't have been there then I guess my baby would have just landed on the bed. Maybe she shouldn't have put on gloves but I think it was an automatic reaction to seeing that she'd likely have to catch my baby as the MW had been scribbling in my notes and not looking to see how close I was to delivering.

Thanks for all your helpful comments. It's brilliant to know I'm not over reacting. I'm fine with how things went in terms of not being traumatised by the birth. I'll insist on a homebirth next time despite the GD and anti-D because I don't think I'll get in to hospital in time and the midwife won't be able to keep leaving me.

Thanks again.

Margles - the problem I have with mum delivering the baby is definitely a 'what if' scenario. They did provide the midwife but she sounds like she was not up to the job tbh. Its perfectly fine for anyone to deliver a baby unexpectedly but if the intention was to practice in the role of a midwife while not qualified to do so, they would be committing an offence. This is clearly not the case here as mum was only acting because the nhs midwife was so bad, and it would be reasonable to put on a pair of gloves, so there will be no repercussions for mum.

If something had gone wrong, the nhs midwife and the hospital would have been held responsible as she and the hospital were providing the service.

A homebirth sounds like a good option next time, however its unlikely that you'd get such a hopeless midwife next time if you were in the hospital again, especially if you nade a complaint this time.

Your mum sounds like a real star and I bet she loved being able to help you. Do complain - lazy, insensitive, incompetent or overloaded midwives are putting women and babies in danger IMO. But don't let the process of complaining poison this magical time.

Happycamel, congratulations on your daughter!

And yes, definitely complain. It all sounds horrendous - thank God your lovely mum was there! - including the lack of follow up obs. I had GD as well, and although it was well controlled, and we established breastfeeding right away and I had a decent supply of colostrum, my daughter still had a hypo and had to be fed extra colostrum to get her sugars back up. It's incredibly dangerous not to monitor a GD baby.

Definitely complain. It's not just that the mw was useless (which she was) but also that the hospital's procedures on how to treat vulnerable patients (you and your baby) should have covered this situation and the failure to do so suggests a deeper problem that needs to be resolved. You should not have been discharged without having seen a paediatrician for the baby who would have said that the baby needed 24 hour obs for low blood sugar possibilities. You should not have had to come back when feeling unwell. What would they have done if you'd refused? They could hardly have said you were signing out against medical advice as they'd already discharged you.

The next time your community mw comes round keep someone with you for support and if she starts on about the notes just inform her (or have your support inform her) that you are horrified at the way you've been let down by her and the hospital and will be making complaints and how about she focuses on caring for you and your baby instead of blaming you for the hospital's failings? Burst into tears for good effect and that should sort her out

Happycamel, just to say congratulations on your baby, and also, how much admiration I have for you (and your mum). Keep up the positive attitude, you've inspired me today!

First glad you and baby are ok! I think that treatment is crap to be quite honest. I find the fact you have a bleed and needed Anti D and did not get it bad enough. I worked in haematology labs and used to issue this stuff for ladies. its important you got it and also should of checked your blood loss and should of had to hand what blood group you were incase of a bleed. That is an issue because you did not have your notes!! I mean what a shower of shite!! Thats without the rest of the stuff I thank god your mum was a midwife and in a way I bet that was nice but that is no excuse to leave you there. Then to make yo come back WTF?!! You should of been kept in and monitored for overnight at least I would of thought?! How crap. I say complain and sorry but do it whilst its fresh in your mind write it all down and break down what happened and then write up a formal complaint letter. I hope your ok.