Share your embarrasing labour/birth stories...

[clarebear1]

Well firstly i wee'ed all over the midwife, maybe thats the norm in her job i dont know and i also accused her several times of pulling on my 'clit' but that was the baby coming out, oop!

Come on share. dont be shy :-)

wow clarebear1 thats hilarious.
well i knew i wanted a water birth, picked out a nice top for the pool too.
got to hospital and felt so damn hot i wandered around the room completely starkers with windows open, fans on you name it just couldn't cool down.

thought i was gona die during labour as had no pain relief so thats embarassing as i told them a million times it was gona kill me. as soon as they said they could see the head i got obsessed about whether the baby had hair as husband was bald when he was born! :-)

I was instructed to drink loads of lucozade to get some sugar in me and at the same time had some sort of pain relief jab. Literally minutes later I vommed everywhere. I did shout at DH to fetch me a bowl but there was so much it just bounced out and all on my clothes, DH's shoes, the heartbeat trace thing. The room was swimming and I had nothing else to wear stupidly so ended up in just a vest which wasn't even a maternity one so it didn't cover my belly.

Oh and then late on in labour I was convinced I needed a poo and I had no clue it was the baby's head as I'd had an epidural and must have been a bit crazy by then. It just felt like I needed a poo. I was asking the midwife to let me try to poo and she was saying I wouldn't be able to and it was the head and I was arguing with her that it was definitely just that I needed a poo

Wish I'd weed on my mw - she deserved it!

With my second LO, I had a home-birth as the gas an air kicked in I told the midwife she reminded me of Nursey from Blackadder. Don't think she was amused, but I certainly was. She can't have been that offended she came back to deliver the next one and will be delivering this one too.

I remember shouting loudly "I'm not in labour, I simply need an enema!!!", that was after 3 hours on the drip, so I clearly was in the wrong.

To my defence Coccyx kept hurting for weeks after, too, it really felt just like a big poo that got stuck.

Shouting at the top of my lungs during transition "I JUST WANNA GO HOME!!!!" even though I was having a home birth....

I was just apologising constantly, as I kept saying it an't be nice to have to look at me in this state....as if I was at a dinner inappropriately giving birth. I was in hospital with a midwife. Erm it was her job. She wasn't bothered in the least that I was showing my "lady garden".

can't not an't-tut

Post second birth I had a funny turn in the loo and had to be carried unconscious back to my bed in the (busy) postnatal ward by not one or two but three tiny Fillipino midwives (I am 6 foot tall and weighed about 13 stone at the time)... completely starkers. Fanjo hanging out, the works (bet that was attractive!).

I didn't go to the loo starkers, btw, my flimsy hospital gown slid off to reveal my gorgeous postnatal bod