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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Can someone talk to me about doulas please?

28 replies

dirgeinvegas · 05/04/2011 16:10

I am only 10 weeks pregnant but am thinking about doulas already. I have found one through Doula UK who I am planning to meet and another who lives nearer to me. I found her through google.

Should doulas be accredited? I can't find the second doula on Doula UK. Her website isn't great but she may just be setting up because I haven't seen her before.

I want someone who's trained really or I might as well just back down and let my mum be at the birth (I foresee another thread on this as my edd nears!).

So I am looking for advice on how to find a doula. Any tips?

DD's birth was a bit of a circus and I felt like everyone in the hospital was in the room at one point. I am a bit concerned that having another woman there will make this birth feel the same. How comfortable can I get with her after a few hours of chatting?

Any advice would be much appreciated!

OP posts:

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nunnie · 05/04/2011 16:17

I did a thread about this a few weeks ago, as I wasn't sure what the difference between Independent midwives and doulas were.

I believe doulas are experienced but not medically trained.

Original poster

dirgeinvegas · 05/04/2011 16:30

Thanks nunni!

I'm fine with them not being medically trained buy I would like to know I'm not booking someone who just fancies calling themselves a doula. I expect them to have a level of knowledge about positions for birth, techniques for coping with the challenging bits etc.

Do you know if anyone can call themselves a doula or if they need to be accredited with one particular body?

I guess I need to call the second doula and just ask her...

OP posts:

pippala · 05/04/2011 17:22

Any one can call themselve a doula however to be DUK registered they have to have done a min 3 day course and have attended 4 births. (recognaised)
They are not medically trained and only offer emotional support. Having said that I know of many trained doulas who do advice mum's to not have this or that done in labour.
My worry is that Mum's trust their doula's opinion over that of HCP and in my mind that is dangerous.
The course I attended was in my opinion very lacking, basically a room of recent Mum's debriefing their own births. Most of them wanted to save other Mums from the experience they had!
HCP are also wary of doulas having their own agenda.
My advice to you would be to make sure the doula has attended several births ie not a trainee (-4 births) and reg rec with Doula uk, insured and CBR checked. Ask for tel numbers of past clients and ask your midwive for a recommendation.
Good luck with your pregnancy.

nannyl · 05/04/2011 17:22

an independant midwife wont come round for several weeks after birth and do laundry / washing up or anything like that to help mum either.

out of interest how much does a doula cost (just for birth, not after care?)

Prunnhilda · 05/04/2011 17:30

Just a quick reminder that if you book a doula for the birth, and decide at the last minute not to have her there (which is totally fine btw! your call) then you will most likely still have to pay the cost of her attending the birth - that will probably be in the contract.
Doulas generally work on keeping themselves free for 4 weeks around a client's due date, so she will have turned down work in order to be there for you, if that's what you have agreed.
(You can of course have another arrangement where you just have the support beforehand or afterwards, not all doulas are birth doulas.)

mrsmalumbas · 05/04/2011 17:40

Also worth remembering that doulas don't necessarily have to be registered with Doula Uk. It's a voluntary body. There is no formal accreditation for doulas and there are various training providers who all offer different types of training and cover things to different depths. But yes they ought to have proper training and a decent doula should definitely be able to tell you all about the training and experience she has. Also, no doula should ever give advice. They should however be able to help you with the decision making process for example if you are not sure about having an epidural she might help you go over the pros and cons. But the final decision should always be yours, in consultation with your caregiver.

Original poster

dirgeinvegas · 05/04/2011 17:53

Thanks so much for this, it's really helpful. I think I am swinging towards not having a doula there afterall. DH was useless at DD's birth though and I was hoping to have someone to support me. I want DH there but I'd like to have someone that isn't scared of seeing me in labour.

My mum has offered but she's is very pro-hospital, drugs and intervention and I am hoping for a homebirth. When I was in labour with DD I didn't want to be spoken to or touched and my mum turned up, followed me when I left the room and started waffling about contractions and feeling my stomach.

Maybe I need to get something for DH to read instead.

OP posts:

autumnberry · 05/04/2011 18:42

My doula has been absolutely brilliant so I wanted to share a positive story with you. She is really knowledgeable on a broad range of subjects regarding home and hospital birth, breastfeeding, baby care, labour comfort techniques, medical articles etc. She has attended 15 births and given birth to her own three children at home. I think you just need to check the experience level of any doula that you contact. Mine was registered with Doula UK and continued to undertake CPD to keep up to date with things and to keep adding to her experience. My doula also did not expect payment straight away so I got to know her well through meeting up and emails before committing to a contract. I really feel that I have had value for money as she has helped to build my confidence for my planned home birth.

Pootletrinket · 05/04/2011 20:59

I decided quite late on I wanted a doula - I spoke with one for ages who was lovely and insisted I interview several more and gave me their contact details. There are only trainees in my area, but they were all willing to speak to me as often as I liked on the 'phone and then come and visit for 'free' to see who I wanted to go with.

Several also gave me info for DH to read (he'd forgotten quite a bit in the 4 years since having DD and now!

MummyAbroad · 06/04/2011 20:46

I had a really positive experience with a doula and would really recommend it. My mum was also very hospital focussed and I knew that she wanted me to run over to the hospital at the very first contraction. DH was very well intentioned but a bit lost and freaked out. The doula didnt feel like "an extra body" in the room at all, but was BRILLIANT at "crowd control" she kept everybody except DH out of the way (as requested) and provided the authority and reassuring pressence needed so that I could labour at home until 10cms! At which point I went into a midwife led birth unit to give birth. I am sure I would have been getting loads of pressure from my mum not to do this if I hadnt had the doula there. She was with us in the hospital and for a few hours after birth and it was really nice to have some continuity, as the midwives just popped in and out of the room and left me to get on with it myself. It basically went just the way I wanted it to. I think it also helped DH feel that he didnt have sole responsibility over the situation and meant he could have toilet breaks, go off and get things etc without feeling like he was abandoning me.

I have to say that in the months leading up to the birth it was really hard work explaining to my mum and DH why I wanted a doula and what one was, and they both felt a bit shoved out of their "traditional" roles. I have no doubt though that someone who attends birth professionally just simply does a better coaching job than DH's and mums put together and the end result (the birth I wanted) made it really worth it

Original poster

dirgeinvegas · 07/04/2011 12:24

That's a really thought provoking post, thanks mummy.

I am trying to get in touch with one doula today to chat. I feel so unsure at the moment. I wonder if it's too soon to make the decision.

OP posts:

MummyAbroad · 07/04/2011 18:30

good luck. I emailed about 6 or 7 and got quite long responses from some which really helped me get to know them a bit before committing.

japhrimel · 07/04/2011 21:43

Interesting thread. I'm considering one for if/when I get pregnant again as DH and I felt with DD that we struggled to stay clear-minded enough to make decisions and wish in retrospect we'd kept to some aspects of our birth plan more. Though as I had a 6 day labour followed by CS after a failed IoL, I'm not sure a doula could have stuck it out!

One thing I would suggest as you're so early is to work out whether you'd still want the doula if you couldn't have the home birth at all. I'd planned a home birth initially with DD, but then developed OC followed by PE so by 30 weeks pregnant, I knew the homebirth wasn't an option.

Pootletrinket · 08/04/2011 08:34

Japhrimel, that's why we went for one, last time we fell down the incident pit of medical intervention - when they started to try and get us down the same route this time, we decided we needed someone emotionally detatched from us to support us.

FutureNannyOgg · 08/04/2011 16:19

If you are worried about DH being nervous or unhelpful a good doula will support him (help him to help you) rather than wading in and taking over. A lot of dads seem to appreciate doulas as they come away feeling helpful and involved.

MummyAbroad · 08/04/2011 16:51

I totally agree with FutureNannyOgg My doula certainly helped DH feel more relaxed (she wasnt panicking so he didnt either) and he took a lot of cues from her over what to do. On the day he was very fully involved, he was just worried that he wouldnt be when I first mentioned the doula idea.

PorkChopSter · 08/04/2011 17:14

I also agree with FutureNannyOgg My DH agreed with whatever was suggested at DC1's birth - a horrible cascade of intervention. He then waltzed off into the night and appeared again at 10am the next morning. I still hadn't even had a shower. For DC2 we (i.e. me) had a doula, who was on the same page as me. She also helped DH in a 'showing him how it was done' type way.

However the MW waited until she was out of the room to make "suggestions" still

For DC3 & 4 we had an IM.

comixminx · 08/04/2011 17:27

I'm another whose DP was initially unsure about having a doula but found it really really helpful in the end. We would definitely have her again for another DC.

MummyAbroad · 08/04/2011 18:35

oooh, another tip. If you are having a hospital/midwife led unit birth, ask how many births they have attended at that hospital. Mine knew my hospital very well and had loads of useful info about what time nurses change shift, what their policy was on visitors etc.

mintpurple · 08/04/2011 19:38

As a midwife I really like it when a patient has a doula, and even suggest it to them especially the mums having homebirths. I have found in the majority of cases, the doula is a great help in positioning, massaging, having great suggestions about how to keep dads occupied etc, and I've worked with some superb doulas who post regularly on here.

Id be really surprised if you had any regrets if you had one.

squiggleywiggler · 08/04/2011 20:21

Oh mintpurple, thank you! Now to work out who you are (grabs magnifying glass and finger printing kit)...

direinvegas there is nothing to be lost in meeting a few doulas and seeing how you feel. I've met a few people who had decided whether to have a doula or not and I think they found the meeting useful (well they decided to have a doula ).

If you have any trouble finding anyone let me know and I can post on the doula forums...

mintpurple · 08/04/2011 20:32

lol squiggley... ask Mars but don't out me please:)

Mars · 08/04/2011 21:28

Asked and answered MintPurple. How lovely to "see" you. Haven't seen you for ages, but then I'm so busy I don't often post.

One of the great things about being a Doula UK Doula is that we follow a Code of Conduct and we have a Doula UK Philosophy. It has been correctly stated that to be a Doula one doesn't have to register with Doula UK, but personally I like the self regulation. Doula UK will probably be the first to sign up should there ever be a need to have a regulating body.

Also, DUK have a hardship fund for those who cannot afford a Doula. There are DUK Doulas who volunteer in local prisons Birth Companions

Sorry to bang on... but, Doula UK have good working relationships with many (if not all) of the hospitals they work with. For those that are not happy, Doula have a complaints procedure.

Yes to getting references and speaking to the past clients etc. Yes to see a few Doulas to "get the right fit" for you.

mrsmalumbas speaks the truth.

squiggleywiggler · 08/04/2011 21:28

Mystery solved - thanks Mars. I won't out you mintpurple but I will insist on telling everyone that you are my favourite midwife I've ever worked with

Mars · 08/04/2011 21:54

Moi aussi Squiggley. I always mention MintPurple when I'm asked about my favourite Midwife. MP gets the vote every time.

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