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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Did any of your partners catch your new baby?

24 replies

ThomBat · 26/10/2005 21:23

And if so did you have to do anything to persuade them they wanted to!

I'm well into the idea of D being the one to 'catch' new baby once the head is out. He siad 'ohhhhh not really sure I could do that babes, i'll cut the cord and be there throughtout to do wahev er, but hmmmmm not sure about the catching bit'. Fair enough, but when I said 'ohhh babes how wonderful to be the one that delivered your baby', there was a little flickerey smile that made me thing with the right gentle persuasion he could well go for it on the day.

My midwife is going to bring me some photos of other dads catching the baby but thought I'd try you girls for positive stories of your DH's / DP's being the one to bring his DS/DD out into the world.

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Heathcliffscathy · 26/10/2005 21:29

my dh did tc. had a massive impact on them both i think. dh was the first person to touch ds and hold him and be smelled by him and then he gave him to me.

the moment of birth ended up v quiet and calm. and dh didn't have any problem, helped him out rather than having to catch him.

fabulous imo. fabulous of dh. fabulous for ds. fabulous for me.

i'd do some gentle working on him. will help a lot if you have sympathetic midwife attending too...ours turned to dh at the moment of truth and said 'this is your bit isn't it? with a smile.

Heathcliffscathy · 26/10/2005 21:29

my dh did tc. had a massive impact on them both i think. dh was the first person to touch ds and hold him and be smelled by him and then he gave him to me.

the moment of birth ended up v quiet and calm. and dh didn't have any problem, helped him out rather than having to catch him.

fabulous imo. fabulous of dh. fabulous for ds. fabulous for me.

i'd do some gentle working on him. will help a lot if you have sympathetic midwife attending too...ours turned to dh at the moment of truth and said 'this is your bit isn't it? with a smile.

Heathcliffscathy · 26/10/2005 21:29

my dh did tc. had a massive impact on them both i think. dh was the first person to touch ds and hold him and be smelled by him and then he gave him to me.

the moment of birth ended up v quiet and calm. and dh didn't have any problem, helped him out rather than having to catch him.

fabulous imo. fabulous of dh. fabulous for ds. fabulous for me.

i'd do some gentle working on him. will help a lot if you have sympathetic midwife attending too...ours turned to dh at the moment of truth and said 'this is your bit isn't it? with a smile.

Heathcliffscathy · 26/10/2005 21:29

oh my god. i'm so sorry. and now i've read it it sounds smug. it's not, just happy and quite emotional even thinking about it all. soooo sorry for thrice posting...don't know how that happened!

spidermama · 26/10/2005 21:34

I told my dh that if he wouldn't let me have an unassisted birth the least he could do was catch the baby.

When it came to the pushing bit I was hanging onto his neck, really digging my fingers in (as you do) and I actually said to him, between contractions, 'By they way, you're staying here. You can't leave. I want you this end'.

Ooooh! I still wince calling that precise moment to mind.

I think he could've caught number 3. Much easier passage out. Very straight forwards.

I think it's lovely if you could persuade yours. Start by saying you want an unassisted birth, then 'compromise' by suggesting this instead.

Original poster

ThomBat · 26/10/2005 21:35

It doesn't sound even slightly smug, it sounds lovely , thanks Soph, x

OP posts:

JanH · 26/10/2005 21:37

Where was he when Lottie was born, TC?

Original poster

ThomBat · 26/10/2005 21:39

It was the midwives suggestion, she said she'll do as little or as much as i need her to do.
We're both gently working on D feeling confident about the home birth side of things, which may or may not happen, but either way I love the idea of D being the one to bring him or her into the world. I won't pressure him to and we'll see how it is on the day but I want to feed him positive reasons why it would be lovley to so he's more prepared for the possibility at the time.

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Original poster

ThomBat · 26/10/2005 21:41

Hey Jan, how are you babes?
Well I was standing up one leg on and one leg off bed, midwive stood behind me and D to my side.
He had a look when the head was out and he cut the cord so I reckon he might be able to do the 'catching' when it comes to it.

OP posts:

Roobie · 26/10/2005 21:41

Oh yes - but only because he didn't have any choice what with the two of us being alone in the bathroom at the time!!

Original poster

ThomBat · 26/10/2005 21:43

LOL Roobie
Was it all good though?

OP posts:

JanH · 26/10/2005 21:43

Oh I'm great, thanks, TC! How are you? Not long now - it is sooo exciting - can't wait to hear!

If he was able to be that close last time I should think you are in with a good chance for the catching - I agree, it would be lovely for all of you if he could manage it. The midwife's pics should help sway him

meggymoo · 26/10/2005 21:44

Message withdrawn

Heathcliffscathy · 26/10/2005 21:44

tc, fwiw, and i'm sure you've had lots of discussion and adivce about this on here...i really really believe if you feel good about homebirth, then it is absolutely the best possible start to your birth process...whether or not you end up in hospital i believe that you'll have the best chance of a positive experience if you start at home. i ended up in hospital, but had such a lovely (total) four hours their having laboured for nearly 3 days at home (only 1/2 a day of that was stressy iyswim) and i know that it wouldn't have been like that if we'd started out in hospital.

i think tbh that if you gently talk to him about it, and if it feels right, he'll be happy to do it when it comes to it...even if he seems a bit worried about it in advance...when you're in it, sometimes i think it is far less daunting than when you're planning and talking about it.

Roobie · 26/10/2005 21:46

It was absolutely fine but obviously driven by sheer necessity - if it had been a regular assisted birth with the midwife there is no way he would have wanted to be so hands on
When dd was born he didn't even glance down at the 'business end'

Original poster

ThomBat · 26/10/2005 21:52

The reason I even thought about a home birth was because I laboured for so long at home that when I got to the birth centre I was fully dilated and went into the pushing stage within minutes of being there. So chances are that things will happen quicker this time, i'm going to a birth centre even further away than last time and it would be safer to stay at home then give birth in a layby like meggymoos sister!!!!
So if I crack on and labour like I did last time, then home's best, and I LOVE the idea. But I'm not so fixed on it that I won't go into the lovely birth centre if it seems like a better idea on the night.

Ohhhhh hope D feels he can do it on the night, bring our baby into th world, it sounds like such a lovley thing to do if possible.

OP posts:

Heathcliffscathy · 26/10/2005 21:54

soooo exciting

spidermama · 26/10/2005 22:30

Lovely story sophable.
Very inspiring.

MamaG · 26/10/2005 22:35

I think it would be lovely in theory but I wouldn't let my DH look below the waist when i was in labour - sorry, but I just don't want him seeing it looking like THAT!

Luckily he felt the same way so we were both happy.

spidermama · 26/10/2005 22:44

On the contrary mamaG. I think it would command respect.

Happylocketsthesmiler · 26/10/2005 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Maddison · 27/10/2005 20:14

DH didn't but I DID!!! I pushed the head and shoulders out and the midwife told me to reach down and get my baby, so I did! I know it wouldn't be everyones cup of tea, but for me it was a beautiful experience.

If your DH really doesn't want to do it, it may be something to consider yourself?!

joanna4 · 04/11/2005 23:42

My hubby delivered our second because like number one nothing ws happening then everything happened all at once only this time midwife was on her break.Famous last words -ooh luvvie you have hours yet lol.

bea · 04/11/2005 23:59

oh yes! dh had to as i had gone intoo labour ultra fast... i went to the loo, feeling i needed to do a no.2 (sorry for too much info!), but felt the babies head coming... shouted to dh to call an ambulance (with a little hysteria in my voice, to whcih he replied that i was panicking and i was only doing a poo... so because he dared to question me on teh process of my labour... he had to deliver the baby, in the hallway of the house, talking to paramedics over the phone... ds has a flat bit of a head to whcih dh says it's where he dropped him when he came out ... by all accounts he was very very slippery!!!!

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