to the age old Elective c-section vs Vaginal birth debate!
My circumstances are making the decision really complicated and after 33 wks of going over and over and around and around the issues I have decided to enlist MN assistance!
I had a EMCS with DS (2.7ys), induced at 16 days over due, failure to progress (7cms), on-set pre eclampsia and thick meconium when they broke my waters to induce. Recovery was fine, took it easy, took the drugs and was more or less fine within a week (DS born on Wed home on the Fri).
I dont class my experience as particularly traumatic, I was originally planning a waterbirth in a MW led unit so by the time I went in to hosp for induction at 13 days over and was kept waiting for three days (was at 3cms and hosp was too busy to induce me)I had made peace with not having the birth I'd been planning and when the pre eclampsia set in, I didnt progress plus the meconium issues etc I was just so happy to hold my baby in my arms at long last (17 days over due). DS was overcooked (peeled head to toe!) and my placenta was 'wrecked' according to the surgeon so dates were not wrong.
So here I am now 33 weeks pregnant with DC2 and I cannot decide how she should be brought into the world. If I go for a VBAC one of the biggest issues is my DS, he doesnt go to nursery and I have no friends or family I can leave him with really. Well, I kinda do and this is where I need help in a What Would You Do way...
I can ask my parents to take two weeks off work to live with us from due date to two weeks over in case I go into labour (consultant said wont induce and I'm not keen either, so if I dont go into labour naturally I will have a c-section). They work as carers so cannot be called away from a job once they are there, wherever that might be in the south of England.
But what if I go early with this baby, they will not be able to come and there is literally no one else I can get to look after DS. All my good friends have moved back to NZ in the past year and both DH and I are from NZ so no other family apart from my parents who came over when DS was born but who move around job to job as live in help for the elderly or infirm.
I dont feel any great desire for a VB, in fact the idea of episiotomies / bladder control issues / stitches etc etc that some women have gone through scares me silly. But on the other hand an Elective c-section essentially for convenience doesnt sit right with me either plus having a toddler to attend to after the surgery will be challenging to say the least.
DH is strongly in favour of the elective option but understands its my choice. The idea of having my parents around full time in the weeks while I wait to go into labour is a bit stiffling but should I just get over that and be greatful that I'll have extra hands to help with everything, it will mean not having a nursery again but baby will be in our room anyhow so is not realy a big deal I guess. Am I mad to sign up for all that pain when I'm not particularly committed and enthused for a VB? I also dont fancy doing the emotional rollercoaster of establishing BFing / sleep deprivation etc with my parents as audience.
Even after reading that all back through I'm not sure that I even make any sense, and that is half my problem I think, any opinions greatfully received!