Panic, panic, panic - 4 weeks to go until DD!

[Marzipanlover]

I am really starting to get nervous now as only a month to go until my baby is due! This is my second and my first labour was hideous - went on for 3 days and thought the pain would never end!
Any chance that this labour will be shorter and less painful??

My first labour was hideous too (very long, epidural didn't work, undiagnosed SPD which led to not being able to walk without pain for 3 months after) and I was cacking my pants over having my second but his birth was truly the best experience of my life!

I think the thing that made it so much better was that I kind of gave in to the process of labour rather than being freaked out by it.
With DS1 I sort of handed over all responsibility to the midwives, barely spoke because I was so frightened and left all decisions up to everyone else (I think I kinda regressed into being a little girl despite being 27!!)

But with DS2, who was born at home, it was so different. I understood the stages of labour better and recognised the signs that things were progressing. I forced myself to be more positive and welcomed each contraction thinking it was one step closer to meeting my baby. Basically I was just so much more relaxed and chilled out. Labour was less than half the time, recovery was almost immediate and I was on such a high for months afterwards!

I'm 12 weeks away from having DC3 and I'm actually excited about giving birth again - and after my first experience of it I NEVER thought I'd say that!

Hope this helps a little bit - good luck

Thanks, that does help. I was so freaked out during labour that I am sure it made things take longer and didn't help at all. I also had an epidural that didn't work. I just need to get into the right mindset this time - positive thinking needed!

All the 'hippy' type birth suggestions that I thought were rubbish with the first labour and therefore didn't bother with are the things that helped with the second one.

Like,
Imagining you are 'opening up' slowly like a flower, I actually had a peace lily in flower in my bedroom and I got fixated with staring at it!

Talking your baby out; I'm not sure how but I just knew baby was a boy so in my head I was saying 'Come on Isaac, I can't wait to meet you, help me give birth to you'

Music, soft lights, lavender oil in burner, listening to my body and moving around loads (which you'll be able to do without an epidural) I stood up most of the way through which speeded it up.

I think not having an epidural or anything other that gas and air really helped me stay aware and ride the contractions.

When I was totally knackered towards the end I had a spoon full of honey shoved in my mouth by my midwife and I could feel the sugar rush pick me up for the final push! Apparently Jelly babies are good for this too - and kind of fitting to the occasion!

My first daughter was born after a 12 hour labour all in my back, with an epidural and a ventouse delivery at the end. My second was born after an hour and a half labour all across the front of my stomach, no time for an epidural so just gas and air and he flew out!

I know that it is difficult not to worry about the birth, but in my experience (and that of my friends) a difficult first labour doesn't seem to indicate a difficult second labour. Try and relax as much as you can.