Refused a waterbirth!

[alicemama]

Hi girls,
well just had a midwife call round today after a home assesment yesterday for my homebirth and after monthes of planning I've just been told that I can't use my pool at all, as there is only 1 midwife trained in waterbirths.

I'm absolutely furious! I've talked about my home waterbirth to every midwife I've seen at every antenatel appointmentt and not once has anyone even hinted that this might not be possible.

I'm 36+3 and waited to order my pool from made in water until monday this week and it arrived yesterday and now the following day I'm told I can't use it. As you can imagine I had plenty to say to the midwife who is now going back to her supervisor to discuss it again taking into account that I've already received and paid for my pool! But she's off on annual leave now so won't find out til at least Monday and I know what the answer will be.

Not sure what to do now as I've been planning this for months and had my heart set on using the pool for labour and delivery! HELP!!!!

[mears]

First of all you cannot be refused a waterbirth so don't accept it.

In my area, the community midwives came to the hospital be be updated on how to conduct a pool delivery - it is not rocket science!

Contact your Supervisor of Midwives and discuss it with him/her. It is their job to make sure the midwives read up on it and prepare themselves to assist you to have your waterbirth.

Makes me mad

valuable information

RCM statement

[alicemama]

Thank you for all of your messages of support.

I've written a letter to the head of midwifery which I'll post on Monday if they still refuse.
I spoken to dh last night and we agree that if my waters break then I'm not going to ring in for 24hrs as long as it's clear and everything feels ok.

As for the pool I think I'll just get in to labour and if they don't like it it's tough luck.
I have an antenatel app on Monday with my own midwife who seemed fine about it all on the many occasions that I've mentioned a pool so I'll talk it over with her. She only lives 2 streets away from me so might just ring her if I go into labour.

Thank you again for all of your wonderful messages of support....I'll keep you posted on my progress.

[gigglinggoblin]

hi alicemama, i had two births on dry land, one in the water. very little difference except no 3 was easier. they kept checking the water was the right temp (think 37 degrees but not sure, memory is a bit hazy!) occasionally monitored the babies heart beat and that was it. when he was born i reached down and lifted him up. midwives didnt need to intervene much so i dont think it should be a problem if you go ahead regardless.

i would assume you are having one unless you hear otherwise. make sure dh knows how to set the pool up and then if mw says you cant go in, tell her to sod off! i was nearly refused a water birth because of low iron levels which i am told can complicate things (which i took to be a good reason for refusing!) so thought i would mention it incase you need a push to remember to take iron tablets (i was rubbish at remembering).

try not to get stressed out, i hope it goes your way

[CADS]

Hi alicemama

Hope you feel better soon. Sending you a cyber chocolate. Have you heard anything?

[alicemama]

Hi Cads,
Thanks for thinking of me.

As expected nobody from the community midwifery team rang and after trying to get through all day I finally got an answer ay 4.45pm.
Basically the answer is still the same....no!
They have no trained midwife available and are not willing to help me in any way regarding a water birth. She even used the phrase that they cannot "legally" allow me to have one.
Well I rang AIMS straight away and spoke to a lovely lady who has given me the confidence to fight them. I have written a letter to the chief executive and included some info off the AIMS website.
I've made it quite clear that I'mnot going to be fobbed off and that I'm having my water birth.

Have antenatel app tomorrow so will make it very clear that I plan to continue with or without their support, they have a legal resposablity to provide a midwife for me.

I just need to hold my resolve til them.
Wish me luck and I'll let you know what happens.

Thanks
Alicemama

[Cooperoo]

OMG! Can't believe you are having to deal with this at the mo. Just wanted to say GOOD LUCK!
I had a waterbirth with dd1 and it was fab.

[CADS]

OMG, can't believe they don't have an experienced midwives. Keep strong!!! Will they at least let you labour in the pool? Surely, no different to a bath, just more comfortable and bigger!!!

[franke]

Ooh, Alicemama, this makes my blood boil - I'm so sorry you're facing this at this late stage. With regards to your waters going, just keep monitoring your temp, stay clean, no baths etc (showers) to minimise the risk of infection. Some hospitals have a limit of 72 or 96 hours before they insist you go in, so 24 hours is just daft really. But fwiw, like many here, I had this problem first time round, but my waters didn't go til I was ready to push last time, so every birth is different I guess.

Like Mears says, delivering in water isn't exactly rocket science and there is absolutely no reason for you not to labour in water even if you end up delivering on dry land, utter nonsense that you shouldn't be 'allowed' to. This is your baby, your birth. I hate this kind of bullying of vulnerable women - go for it girl and give 'em hell.

[PeachyClairPumpkinPie]

Feel very angry that they can do this to you, even if they say you can't deliver I just don't see how they can tell you what to do in your own home!

As well as contacting AIMS, there are ways of speeding up the process with the decision makers: a heavily pg woman camped on their doorstep is one way, going to the local press is another, setting up a petition for M'snetters to sign might be another less confrontational way?

I was refused a home birth for no good reason and didnt think of arguing until afterwards, don't make my mistake! (they kept taking multiple bloods that were not required until they managed to find one that was 0.1 'too low', then refused. As my parents were 400 miles away on holiday and I have two older ds's, it was only thanks to my heavily PG sis taking the boys that I didnt labour alone in a hospital I was terrified of because I and ds1 nearly died there).

Go on, fight!!

[tessasmum]

Go for it AM.

Can't believe what they are putting you through at this late stage, obviously hoping that you just won't have the fight in you. I hope you have. You've got full support from here and I'm sure there are a few of us who can rant to the appropriate people if needed to. Just let me know if there is anything I can do, I can write a mean snotty letter!

Hope you and snotty toddler are feeling better too.

[hunkerpumpkin]

AM, hope the appointment goes well tomorrow.

Ask them to put in writing that they're refusing you a waterbirth too - actually, tell them you want it in writing. They're not allowed to refuse you, so will be interesting to see how they get round that!

Good luck with it - you don't need this hassle at this stage of pregnancy

[alicemama]

Thank you girls for all your messages of support. You really have no idea how much it means to me knowing that there's people on my side.
I've been up all night worrying about my antenatel app this morning but I'm going armed with loads of info off the AIMS website.

I'm also going to call the Birmingham WOmen's Hospital as I live just outside of B'ham and I'll see if they can offer me any support.
Either way I'm not letting this go....it'll teach them to mess with angry hormonal women!!!

Once again thank you so much for all of your support. I'll give you an update this afternoon.

p.s. still snotty noses all round here!

[franke]

Alicemama - I just had another thought about this. When I was planning a homebirth a couple of years ago (it never happened but that's another story) I asked my midwife what would happen if there were no midwives available on the day to attend. Her reply was something along the lines of that the hospital would have to draught somebody in (agancy staff I suppose) to provide cover at the hospital whilst the normal community midwives would come out to me. I would have thought that the same principle should apply here - they should make sure there is provision to meet your needs by getting in a temp midwife who is familiar with water birth. Just a thought. Hope your appointment goes okay this morning.

[alicemama]

Well its amazing how quickly they've backed down when faced with a letter to the cheif executive and a research paper on home water birth & government policy!!!

Just got back from seeing my midwife who is actually on my side. She agrees that they cannot refuse me using my pool and the only concern is delivering in the pool. But when her team leader told me yesterday that there is no one experienced in waater birth, she was lying! There is at least 3 midwives who have delivered a baby in water before. So we've reached a compromise in that we've agreed that I can labour in the pool for as long as I like and that they would like me to deliver out of the pool but cannot force me if I don't want. So if I want to stay in I will, at the end of the day they're not exactly going to drag me out are they.
I'm so relieved but still extremely angry that they've tried to manipulate me like this. I'm sure a lot of women would have just accepted what they said and not pushed the issue any further. I still feel like pushing for all midwives to be trained in water birth and still plan to send a letter of complaint to the cheif executive.
So thank you so very much for all of your support. I'm off to celebrate this evening with a box of pringles and a bag of maltesars!!!

A very happy Alicemama

[hunkerpumpkin]

Brilliant! Glad it's sorted - and very angry on your behalf that they've been so manipulative about it.

Will be interested to hear what happens if you take this further - and good luck with the waterbirth! Looking forward to hearing of your baby's birth!

[franke]

Well done, what a relief! But I am absolutely outraged on your behalf - they played the craftiest trick in the book leaving it so late to tell you that you couldn't have what you wanted - very underhand. But well done you for standing up to them and I really hope the birth goes well.

[CADS]

Yipeee!!! [pops open imaginary bottle of champayne]

I am sure this thread will help alot of women to stand up for themselves.

[Miaou]

Been following this but had no advice - I was so on your behalf though! I am so pleased it is going to work out for you, but as you say, many less confident people would have backed down before now. If you have the energy/strength to follow this through (complain about the way you were treated) that would be great - but having a three month old myself I would totally understand if you didn't!!

Looking forward to hearing your birth announcement now - hope all goes well.

[PeachyClairPumpkinPie]

Well done you!

[Cooperoo]

Excellent news. I think you should still complain though. You could have certainly done without the stress and hassle of having to fight for something that should be your right, especially at this late stage. Someone less assertive or less well informed would have just accepted it .
Good Luck for a quick and smooth delivery, in the water if you choose it to be!

[bonym]

Just caught up with this alicemama - very, very pleased that this is now sorted for you.

Hope the birth goes well and look forward to reading your birth announcement! .

[grannygoose]

I am really chuffed for you alicemama - you are very brave to stand up to the powers that be and this shows that by standing your grand, you can get what you want, and what you are entitled to.... Good luck for your water birth - it will be a triumph I am sure.

[alicemama]

Think I might have spoken too soon. I've just had my midwife on the phone asking if she can call round this afternoon. She said her team leader and supervisor have asked her to come and talk to me again.....doesn't sound good does it.

So fed up of this stress. I'm full of a cold, my 2 1/2 dd is also full of a cold and has a nasty cough now and to top it off I was up in casualty til 1.30am this morning with my dad with a piece of metal in his eye. My poor dh has been going to work all day and then coming home and helping with all the housework, he's shattered. If I wasn't so close to having this baby I'd be on a plane going somewhere hot and sunny. Where's that cyber beach & bacardi??????

[alicemama]

Well midwives have just left after managing to reduce me to tears... in fact now I can't seem to stop.
Don't worry they haven't convinced me to back doen but they had a hell of a good try. First excuse was that they don't have an underwater sonicaid which is fine I can just raise bump out of water when they need to check baby's heartbeat. Now they're saying that once in established labour they will have to check baby's heartbeat after every contraction....now is it me or that the biggest load of 's I've ever heard??????
Basically they don't give a toss about me or my feelings, they're just trying to look after themselves. I never felt this bullied at high school...what is the big deal over a pool of warm water!
Off to demolish a bar of galaxy, I'm sure I'm going to give myself gestational diabetes by the end of all this