A Sudden Change of Plan

[Cheria]

Hello
I hope I'm not going to get booed out of the room for this comment, but I am 37 weeks with my 1st child. Right the way through there have been minor complications and a C Section was pretty much a given - an idea I got used to. As late as last week I was booked in with a definite date.

Yesterday however at an u/s my doc changed his mind and said he would prefer to give natural labour a go. He is all for epidural and the clinic I am booked in to are very pro pain management, so I am not worried about the pain as such (reading other threads on here I say thank God I moved abroad!!)

The things that concern me are:

• I have little idea of what to expect from normal childbirth as I am too late for classes - were classes really all that necessary (please say no, I'll be fine)?

• For DH this isn't the first time and has had horrendous experiences of childbirth with his ex, and also was raised on horror stories from his mum. He is trying his best not to freak me out but he is obviously very very worried. As far as I am concerned he is as important in all this as me and the baby - am I going too far in deliberating over asking to go ahead with the C Section to reassure him? I know it isn't his body, but it is his child, and he is squeamish to say the least in the best of circumstances. We have no family or close friends nearby, so I don't have the option of asking someone else to be my birthing partner - and I am not sure this would solve the problem.

• Is it really selfish of me to just generally be annoyed at the change in plan - I was so ready to go in for the C Section next week, had psyched myself up to it for months? I know nothing about having babies is supposed to be convenient, but feel like I am having to re-think everything and finding it very stressful.

Sorry if I sound like a real whinger - especially as I should be glad that the issues I had seem to have cleared up.

A vaginal birth is safer than a CS, so if there are no longer any medical reasons to recommend a section then I can see why you would be advised to avoid it.

But I can totally understand that if you have got used to the idea of a planned section then the uncertainty of waiting for labour is a lot to get your head around.

In particular CS increases the chances of difficulty in conceiving in the future and you would have a scar on your uterus which can affect any future labour. Plus babies born by elective CS are more likely to have trouble with their breathing.

If this baby is likely to be your only child I would say go with whatever you are happiest with, but if you plan to have more then trying for a vaginal birth is a good idea.

Plus, caring for a baby when you are recovering from major surgery is not easy - I have had CS x 2 now and I was still hobbling round/needing regular painkillers a few weeks after the births.

Is there a particular reason why you don't want to try for a normal birth?

Sorry Cheria, I'm with Moaningminnie here. If there is no clinical reason to have a CS, it is statistically safer for both you and your baby to have a vaginal birth. Many women will tell you that they had a CS after vaginal birth complications. I'm one of the other ones who had a vaginal birth after CS complications, and would have much prefered a vaginal birth instead of my CS.

I understand that you feel it is a sudden change of plan, but rather than one week, you could have as much as 3-5 weeks left to adapt to the idea of a vaginal birth. It is very generous of you to give your partner equal share in all of this, but in all honesty, it should be a bit more of a 49/51 split, with you having the casting vote. You are a completely different woman to the mother of his other children, and everyone gives birth in different ways - there is little chance you will be just the same as her. For you to have a CS because something happened to another woman that has made your OH worried is a bit tenuous really.

You could get a doula or have a private childbirth session with an IM, if you go down the VB route.

It is up to you decide what you want, but if the doctor decides there are no physical reasons why you shouldn't have a VB, you may have to come up with a psychological reason.

Just a quick one to say that my antenatal classes were a COMPLETE waste of time!! You will be absolutely fine without them if you go for a VB. There are lots of books/websites which will support you. Good luck!

i didn't remember a single sodding thing from my expensive ant-natal classes.

once it kicked off my mind emptied of everything we'd gone over, so from that perspective don't worry

Thanks everyone. I had a feeling I'd be reassured over the ante natal classes.

I don't want to find reasons to not have a VB - just finding the sudden change of plans a little hard to take in (though OH is finding it even harder I think!)

At the start of the pregnancy VB didn't bother me at all, but as they moved on to talking about CS I just kind of psyched myself up to that, and had just got to feeling comfortable with it, having discussed with midwives, OB GYN and of course reading up on it.

I guess I am just feeling a little unprepared and out of my depth now, and friends etc are having a good giggle that I didn't do Lamaze. To be honest I'm not sure I'd have done ante natal classes anyway, but I would have done a bit more research and prep than now.

And yes I am worried about how DH is dealing with all this. Which I am sure must sound weird.

Thanks anyway for your advice. And here's to hoping they don't change their mind again!

Oh bless you, i'd be cross too at a late stage change in plan. If only because it throws you off track! However it is good news that you're not considered such high risk you'd need a CS!

I understand your husband is scared, and a lot of this will boil down to lack of time to prepare mentally for what lies ahead. Take a look at babycentre.co.uk mumsnet.com and other sites for information on what happens in a vaginal birth, the signs of labour, the pain relief options etc. Arm yourself with knowledge and reduce the fear of the unknown. As for antenatal classes- i went but had already piucked up all the info from my books. Maybe pop out and buy one or two today for some bedtime reading. They do great ones aimed at blokes too.

All the best for you delivery!