Overdue and opting for monitoring

[EauRouge]

I'm 41 weeks today and really starting to stress about this :( probably because I'm quite tired and hormonal!

Bit of a back story- I was bullied talked into having a sweep that I didn't really want when I was 40+9 with DD and had a long, drawn-out and exhausting labour. I asked about monitoring but the MW said I was 'not allowed'. Since then I've found out that she broke loads of guidelines as my cervix wasn't even favourable and the sweep hurt like hell. I'm a bit about the way I was treated.

Anyway, this time around I am very reluctant to be induced on dates alone. Obviously when I am sure the risks of continuing are more than the risks of induction then I will go for it but I would like to make an informed choice.

The MW I saw last week was very supportive (apart from saying that I wouldn't be allowed a home birth if I went over 42 weeks) but on Monday I will have to see the other MW and I am dreading it. :(

Does anyone have any words of wisdom and support or any useful links? Especially ones with stats because I am sick of being told there are 'risks', I want to know what the risks are so I can make up my own mind.

TIA, sorry for the long hormonal post.

It is not actually true that you are 'not allowed' a homnebirth after 42 weeks, just that it is outside your hospitals guidelines.
One of my clients went into labour at 42+5 with her first and her mother and grandmother were all 43-46 week pregnancies. Long gestations are just normal for her family.
After discussion with the consultant midwife at our local hospital she was supported to have a homebirth at 43 weeks and all went well.
You could contact AIMS for support-
www.aims.org.uk/
Also more info here-
www.homebirth.org.uk/overdue.htm
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/01/pregnant-for-10-months
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=130559146960131&ref=mf
Good luck,
Selina

Thanks so much for those links, they are very useful. I did query about not being allowed a HB and I was told again it would be at my own risk

I will get DH to read it all as well because he is less likely to burst into tears at any given moment I'm not sure on pregnancy lengths in my family as my DM was induced with both my brother and me (he was 2 weeks late though).

Oh you poor thing - its so stressful when you don't feel supported.

Re. information, I think a lot of the problem is that because women are told they "have" to be induced at a fixed point, there isn't really very much data to produce statistics on the safety or otherwise of continuing a pregnancy beyond 41-ish weeks. However, that also means that you can put the onus on them - if they want to induce because they think its unsafe, ask them provide the research to support that position.

In a way, telling you that opting for a HB post their cutoff is "at your own risk" makes me not know whether to laugh or cry - to me a HB is always at your own risk as ultimately, however low risk you may be and compensation or not, you're the one living with the consequences. As mentally competent adults I think we're allowed to decide what risks we want to take...

And following on from the "mentally competent adults" line, Mary Cronk has some fantastic phrases for helping you stay in control of an appointment whilst reminding (politely - if you wish ) the HCP that they are there to advise and not act as a divine authority.

Re. the MW you've found unsupportive, you do not have to see her. It may mean you have to go to an alternative location for antenatal care - but you have the right to ask for a different MW and refuse her care (including refusing her access to your home while you are in labour). AIMS may well be the best people to advise you on how stressful taking that route is likely to be - and before going that way its worth remembering that you don't know what the attitudes of the next MW(s) will be.

Final thought - if you get to see the nice MW again it might be worth asking her to have a very gentle feel to see whether she thinks a sweep would be easy or not. I can see why you wouldn't want one at all (wouldn't be my first choice either) but if it helps stave off some of the pressure for induction and you trust her to be delicate then it might be worth a try.

Fingers crossed everything pans out for you and you can stay relaxed :)

Also I use some of these with overdue Mum's and had some success-
www.yogatic.com/yoga-video/yoga-video-for-birth/
spinningbabies.blogspot.com/2008/02/alternative-to-induction.html
And belly dancing, especially the camel walk-

Selina

yes, all birth is 'at your risk' in hospital, at home or otherwise.

they just mean 'well, don't sue us for it'

Thanks :) Yes, I know that it's at my own risk but it'd be nice to be told what the risks are, I don't know if it's my hormones but I felt like I was being emotionally blackmailed into doing what they want instead of being told exactly what the risks are so I can make my own decision. I think if I do get to 42 weeks I will ask to have a chat with the head MW at the hospital so I can get some answers.

In the meantime I will douse myself with clary sage and eat some spicy food Thanks for that yoga link, it looks really good. I've got a birth ball so I'll have a go later on. I'll have a go at the belly dancing too, should give DH a good laugh if it doesn't work!