Absolutely terrified about second birth

[charl2503]

Im 25 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. I had a home birth last time. It wasn't particularly traumatic. I was in a lot of pain, especially after my waters were broken at 6cm. She was back to back all the way through but I just had gas and air, I was offered pethadine but when they checked me it was time to push. I only tore slightly so didnt have any stitches. But i was petrified through the whole thing. I was in labour about 15 hours and i cried non stop for the last 8.
I am having nightmares about giving birth again. I only had my daughter last March so the memory is pretty fresh in my mind. I am absolutely petrified about going through it all again. Anyone got any advice? It is on my mind 24/7

hi - just had my 2nd 5 weeks ago and it was so different and much better than my first - I too was really scared as you know whats coming, but it was fine - My first waters broke not dilated then had an epidrual at 2cm after much begging to midwife - 2nd time arrived at hospital at 9cm both ended up ventose and both 2nd degree tears, but I look back and wish i had not worried so much about it as it amazing - Good luck

You coual
-Talk to your current midwife. Let her know your worries, and see if there is anything she can suggest to help.

• See if your midwifery group offers a birth reflections service. A midwife comes round, with your notes, and talks you through your delivery. I found this extremely helpful.

• Talk to your birth partner from before. Were they helpful? Are they on board with what you want to do differently this time? If not, consider asking someone else, who will be ore supportive.

Sounds like a real lack of support last time, if you were crying so much. Something needs to happen to help you feel more supported this time.

Sure others will come up with more adivce.

agree you need to talk things through with your birth partner. do you know what it is that you're scared of? is it the pain? if so, get a pain relief plan in place with your mws. is it that it will take a long time? 2nd babies are normally much quicker (in my case, DC1 36hr labour ending in emcs - DC2 2h11mins start to finish (vbac) 2nd degree tear and a totally fab experience compared to the first!)

I spent half of my second pg in tears at the thought of having to go through labour again, particularly worrying about having to have another section if things didn't go well. As it turned out, it went perfectly. Good luck.

I had a home birth with my first and she was back to back as well which was agony, so I know what you mean. Felt like my spine was exploding from the pain. It took about 12hrs. I had a small tear and needed one stich at the top and one stich at the bottom (no pain relief - they left the gas & air in midwife's car!).

I had my second at home too and it was completely different, much quicker and nothing like the pain with the first.

Expecting DC3 in July, so who knows what will happen this time. All babies are different, so try not to worry. Good luck.

OP, do not worry.

My 1st birth was the usual, painful, but only to be expected.

I 'thought' that 2nd birth would be quicker and less painful. She was bact to back. Let's just say, that if I had had a gun, I would have shot myself. It was horrific.

Afterwards, for about 3 months, everytime I saw an obviously pregnant woman, all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I came out in a cold sweat.

However, when I found out I was pregnant when DC2 was 6 months old, I rationalised that it would be fine. Every birth is different, and just because you have one bad experience, does not mean that all will be bad.

Birth 3 was run of the mill, and I was actually really calm and laid back about it. I was actually in labour for most of the day but carried on ironing, had a shower, watched some TV, before going to hospital. Once there it all happened within the space of an hour.

Don't get hung up on past births, each one is toatally different.