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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Has anyone experienced pushing for a really long time?

40 replies

plasticspoon · 14/02/2011 21:03

Just wondering whether it's really possible that I was allowed to push for as long as dh and I think I was. We thought ds was ready to emerge at about 1 in the morning (mw thought so) but he didn't make it out till 7am! My memory is of pushing all that time, so at least 6 and probably more like 7 hours in total. All the blemishes on my skin and the area around my eyes was purple by the time he arrived, and the mw did keep saying that someone would "insist on giving us a hand soon" if I couldn't get him out.

Is it possible I would have been allowed to push for so long? I know I could ask for a review meeting but I would feel silly given that there were no major problems but I keep thinking about it because the exhaustion really affected my ability to bond with ds.

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lizandlulu · 14/02/2011 21:14

wow that was a really long time! you must have been exhausted!

i have no adivce really, i was pushing for 2 hours and i thought that was a long time, but if i was in your place, i think i would put it down to experience and leave it if there is no lasting problems. try not to dwell on it. are you feeling better now?

Original poster

plasticspoon · 14/02/2011 21:19

I know I should let it go, but I still feel somehow disturbed by the whole thing and have recently been diagnosed with PND which I think is linked.

OP posts:

brettgirl2 · 14/02/2011 21:35

I think if you want to find out about it then you should do so.

That sounds horrendous - I was 2 hours which like liz I thought was a long time.

londonmackem · 14/02/2011 21:43

I was one hour then they did ventouse - I had an epidural(I had allowed to begin to wear off so i could feel to push) and was induced.

Rosebud05 · 14/02/2011 21:46

I don't know if your hospital is the same, but the discharge sheets I was given when I left had the timings of first and second stage on it.

It sounds like you could benefit from talking it through with someone - call or e-mail the head of midwifery at the hospital and ask her for an apt to go over what happened. It wouldn't be silly to ask for a meeting at all; even without PND it would be perfectly reasonable and talking it through might help you feel less overwhelmed by the experience.

Marne · 14/02/2011 21:51

I was pushing for 7 hours, i asked for pain relief after the first hour and was told 'it's too late, your baby will be here any minute' , i really felt like i was going to die. My second birth was different, only pushed twice and was so much easier.

I still feel upset by my first birth, i'm sure i was told to push way too early and could have been given pain relief.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 14/02/2011 21:57

From the moment they told me I was fully dilated to when DS came out was 6.5 hrs. There were complications! I pushed for an hour then got to stop . I was told the cervix had gone back over his head. After much faffing I was then given an injection to try and get rid of the cervix (don't ask me what it was I wasn't really compus mentos at that point!). Then waited for over 2 hrs for an epidural (while still not pushing which was agony) and then they checked the cervix had indeed gone and I pushed again for another couple of hours. And finally had a forceps delivery! So I was definitely told to push too early and it was incredibly knackering.

gaelicsheep · 14/02/2011 21:58

Are you sure it was that long OP? I pushed for 3.5 hours and the MW was literally fighting the consultants off from two hours onwards. When I finally got him out she said it was the most difficult case she'd attended that ended in a natural delivery. I really don't think they would have allowed you to go 6 or 7 hours! But if it is really bothering you, you really should ask for a meeting to talk it through. I had major trauma issues after my labour (the first stage not the second) and it affected me for years. It's not worth going through that if you can get help. x

greedychops · 14/02/2011 22:01

I was for three hours and like gaelicsheep, the mw was fighting the doctors off from 2 hours, then he had one pull of the ventouse and ds1 came out. I know with ds2 I was 10cm but there was still a lip of cervix that they wanted to wait to move before I pushed, but eventually I couldn't not push.

I would ask to see the record or I think this will stick with you for a long time.

bubbleymummy · 14/02/2011 23:26

3 hours here but I had no urge to push at all. I do wonder if I was ready to push or if I had been left would I have got the urge... Ended up with forceps. :(

hester · 14/02/2011 23:30

I think you should ask for a review. You mustn't feel that you don't deserve one: you sound disturbed and traumatised by your birth experience, and that is justification enough.

Hope you get answers that help you come to terms with this.

Oh, and btw, I've not experienced prolonged pushing - or pushing at all since I had emcs - but I can easily imagine how distressing and disturbing it could be. I'm so sorry you had a rough time.

HappyTangerine · 14/02/2011 23:32

I pushed for 5 hours-was fully dilated by midday and started pushing but ds fought it all the way. I was prepped for a c-section at 5-30pm with full spinal block and then they decided to try forceps. Ds born 10 minutes later. I did hypnobirthing which helped a lot but was shattered by the end.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 14/02/2011 23:38

I had about 3 hours with DS1, but my contractions tailed off and pretty much stopped after a couple of hours. It was when the MW got a senior MW to have a look and she was totally matter-of-fact: mum's fine, baby's fine, keep going for a bit. Had a wave of relief come over me and contractions became much stronger and I managed to finish the job.

I think the MW, for all her talk of experience in Africa, was quite inexperienced; she let me groan and shout with my mouth open, letting all the energy go upwards instead of downwards, as I subsequently found when advised to keep my mouth shut with DC2!

I can relate to your bruised eyes, and I had incredibly sore ribs; I remember saying I felt and looked like I'd done ten rounds in a boxing ring.

It's interesting you talk of an eta; my mw kept saying things like 'we'll have this baby out by 12pm,' then it was 1pm, etc. I remember hearing deadlines were a counter-productive thing to mention during labour.

Not sure about your idea of discussing your experience as mine was so long ago that it wouldn't have been an option (15 years), but it sounds like you need to speak to someone so why not try?

Loopymumsy · 15/02/2011 06:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BootyMum · 15/02/2011 11:19

I had I think a 4 hour pushing stage with DS1. DH timed this, I was too out of it but did feel that I was pushing for a very long time. MW kept saying that baby was nearly here, couple more pushes and baby would be out but nothing happened. I also had sense of MW being out of her depth and not very communicative generally about what was happening. I remember thinking I can't take much more of this and feeling it was going to take forever. I started asking for an epidural and mw said there was no Dr available to administer one. The contractions were pretty fierce at this stage and continuous, no respite.
Finally when baby was born I went to the bathroom and noticed that I had red blotches and dots on my face, broken blood vessels basically. So I think I had been pushing pretty hard and possibly for a reasonable amount of time as DH thinks.

BaggedandTagged · 15/02/2011 11:24

Two hours with really strong contractions and overwhelming urge to push throughout. Had to have epidural top up after 1 hour as was just too painful. DS had a massive head, but was a small baby so he was just coming down really slowly.

In the end, the Obs could see I was at the end of my tether so gave me a small episiotomy and he was out 5 mins later. Soooo relieved for it to be over

ShowOfHands · 15/02/2011 11:28

I had an 8hr second stage, but 'only' pushed for 6hrs. I think the fact that I was trying for a homebirth meant they left it longer than they would in a hospital.

In the end they tried a ventouse, manual rotation and finally had an emcs.

Go and talk to somebody please. There is help out there.

Ooopsadaisy · 15/02/2011 11:34

I pushed for 2 hours and midwife was getting a bit anxious as ds was stuck with his back in my back (if you see what I mean - I'm sure there's a medical term for it).

I refused all pain relief and eventually pushed him out and needed no stitches.

Midwife told me afterwards that they were thinking about c-section at one point.

I told them (nicely) that I would have committed murder before they'd have done that to me.

2 hours felt like extremely hard work - I can't imagine how tired you must have been. I'm surprised there was no talk of intervention much earlier.

ShowOfHands · 15/02/2011 11:39

Ooopsadaisy, 'occipito posterior' or 'op' is the back to back position. DD started in op and moved to ot (transverse), hence the getting stuck. What position did you deliver in? Flat on your back is the hardest with an op baby. Upright or on your knees can be best. If there's a next time! Whatever feels right tends to be what I think helps most though.

Some of us have no choice about having to have a cs though, all murders aside.

Ooopsadaisy · 15/02/2011 11:45

Showofhands - thanks for rescuing me from my ignorance

I was terribly dignified - I was on all fours. again.

I wouldn't even let anyone examine me or touch me so c-section would have been a really bad experience for me.

This was 15 years ago!

DD was born in 25 minutes from first twinge to delivery - so no issues there. She probably just fell out .

There will not be another!

Ooopsadaisy · 15/02/2011 11:47

Showofhands - by the way - I'm not one of those people who is all judgey about women who have c-sections.

So long as Mum and baby are fine I don't care how it happens. It was just important for me that it was natural.

ShowOfHands · 15/02/2011 11:52

It was really, really important to me that I had a natural delivery. Hence pushing for 6hrs. But dd didn't understand my desperation and we needed an emcs to ensure our survival. My insistance meant that she ended up with some muscle damage from being stuck for so long.

I know you weren't being judgey, just pointing out that sometimes what you want just isn't possible in labour and you shouldn't ever feel like it's something you can fully control.

BaggedandTagged · 15/02/2011 11:57

At one stage (about 90 mins in) the midwife said to me

"Bagged, you're doing really well, and the great news is that your baby's heartbeat is still fine- he's not getting distressed"

to which I apparently replied (per DH)

"Well bully for DS because I'm getting fucking distressed"

Lizzylou · 15/02/2011 11:57

I pushed for about 4/5hours, then DS1 went into distress, was prepped for emc/s but ended up with a ventouse. The Consultant was there(with 2 MWs) for about 2 hours of the pushing.

I know what you mean about exhaustion, I'd not slept for 2 nights and then all the pushing, when DS1 was brought up to me I couldn't keep my eyes open
I felt guilty about that for a long time.

Ooopsadaisy · 15/02/2011 11:58

Well said Showofhands.

You haven't said how long ago all this happened so I hope DD is ok and that you are recovered. .

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