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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

debriefing/going over notes

15 replies

violet59 · 12/02/2011 13:16

Presumably people who want to see their notes or get a birth debriefing feel something was not right with their labour/want things to be different next time.

But do you think that doctor/midwife will just say that they did all they could and that there's no way to predict how things could have happened? Are they going to say if we had done ABC instead of XYZ you/baby might have fared better? It seems like an exercise to justify that they gave you the best possible care? Cynical me, I know....

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FutureNannyOgg · 12/02/2011 13:25

I haven't had mine yet, but from what I hear from others, they seem to be pretty honest (although I have known someone who found their notes were actually innaccurate )

I don't think the purpose of a debrief is to haul the midwife over hot coals, that would be unhelpful and unfair (especially as the debrief mw may not have even been at your birth). I don't think placing blame is very helpful when you are trying to make your peace with it. Understanding how things came about maybe, but you have to come to terms with the fact that it is done and that is how it was.

I think the point is that you are able to go over your notes, with someone who understands them. You might want to do this simply to get closure, or to evaluate and learn for future births.

For me it is part academic fascination (I did an anatomy degree, so the physiology of it all interests me), partly to put the lid on my experience for the sake of "clearing the decks" for my doula work, and partly for peace of mind. The ob who did my emcs said the baby was "stuck" but it wouldn't affect my ability to have a VBAC, so I want to know exactly how he was positioned, and be reassured that it really was "one of those things" and it's not going to happen again (or if it did, how we might spot it earlier).

Crawling · 12/02/2011 14:15

After DC2s birth MW came around and asked me if I had any questions about my birth, or if would like to discuss it.

I had a normal birth only bad part was after MW thought my cervix had torn so had two holding legs open and one wiping alcohol stuff round inside and checking my cervix and if I was hemmoraging, luckily all was fine it was painfull though.

I was quite surprised, she said she likes to set aside 30 minutes to explain to her patients any fears or worries, Do they not normally do that?

rickymummy · 12/02/2011 14:42

I had a bad delivery with my eldest. Second time round, I explained my worries to my midwife, she got in touch with the hospital and arranged for me to go over my notes with the consultant.

He was actually very good. He went over them slowly and carefully, said it did sound as though it was "mis-managed" and explained what had happened. Then he absolutely promised it wouldn't happen again, wrote a load of stuff in red pen all over my new notes, including delivery information to go in my birthing plan.

All I was concerned about, was that it wouldn't happen again, and he was right. Completely different experience. They clearly followed his notes and it was a wonderful experience.

japhrimel · 14/02/2011 14:27

I don't have any issues with my care but don't know why what happened did happen (failed IoL, baby didn't engage). I had a few opinions from registrars whilst in but my consultant was on leave and I want to get her opinion, which is why I'm going for a debrief appointment.

stargirl30 · 14/02/2011 14:31

My debrief was great. DDs birth was a bit of a haze and there were a few questions I wanted to ask that hadn't occurred to me at the time.

I would heartily recommend it.

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 14/02/2011 16:04

Going for mine next month, thinking they will be quite honest as it was so traumatic. I was advised to have one for my own peace of mind as I was discharged. It's taken 9m to feel strong enough, mine is the eclamptic seizures thread!

DontHateThePlayerHateTheGame · 16/02/2011 19:08

I had one and had copies of my pregnancy & labour notes and they were really helpful.

I was also nosey and wanted to see if I was as demanding nice as I thought I may have been

I recommend it to a lot of women when they are discharged, especially if they have had a failed IOL/CS/Instrumental. Some women may have had normal births but still cant remember odd bits.

Its a bit like a puzzle really, just putting the bits back together. Usually a midwife not involved in your care does the debrief.

ShowOfHands · 16/02/2011 19:13

My debrief was brilliant. The obs consultant I saw apologised for aspects of the care, explained things, talked to me, listened, encouraged me to talk about all aspects of it, chatted to me about what he thought could/would happen if I had another, how he could help (by offering to deliver any other baby by elcs or vbac). He was honest, open and bloody brilliant.

ShowOfHands · 16/02/2011 19:14

I had ptsd and he talked to me for 3 hours at the initial meeting btw. He has made it clear that he is always at the end of an email/phone if I need more support/help.

carlyvita · 16/02/2011 19:18

I can see your concerns certainly on this issue. A debrief alone will not always satisfy/get to the bottom of issues, fears and anger that may linger for a long time after a traumatic time.

To this end, I'd suggest not just going to talk through the notes at the hospital but also requesting a copy of all your notes to take home.

This way, anything you still want to investigate in your own time with maybe an Indepent Midwife (who work happily outside of NHS guidelines and can talk freely of ways in which elements of the birth could have been managed differently), Doula or partner.

Wigeon · 16/02/2011 19:30

You don't have to give any reasons for requesting a copy of your notes. In fact I've done just that recently, and not because I had a bad experience. I just wanted to know more about the experience. See thread here about how to do it.

Others are giving you advice on the de-brief issue (I didn't request, and don't want a de-brief). You could always request your notes and then request a debrief later if you want.

DontHateThePlayerHateTheGame · 16/02/2011 19:39

Thats true. I had my notes before I discussed with anyone. I also know I would like to have another baby in the next few years so I wanted copies of some of the operation notes so I could give to my MW and Obs team so they could see what happened last time round (live in different area now).

GruffalosGirl · 16/02/2011 20:17

It doesn't have to just cover the birth either. I had no issue with my birth and no interest in discussing it but was very traumatised by the care I received on the post natal ward so when I found out I was having a section this time I arranged to go over my notes with the labour ward manager.

It was really helpful and the midwife was very honest in saying that the way I'd been treated wasn't acceptable and that it went against hospital policy.

She also reassured me and has put things in place to ensure this doesn't happen this time round.

cardamomginger · 16/02/2011 21:40

How do you request a de-brief?

Beveridge · 16/02/2011 22:23

I'm going over my notes from DD1's birth (which was almost 2 years ago) with a consultant midwife in a few weeks. I would like a home birth this time but because of complications last time my community midwife has arranged for this to help us decide if I am too high risk or not(had a retained placenta and post-partum haemorrhage in hospital last time).

Quite looking forward to it for it's own sake as I think it will help me prepare mentally for DC2's birth.

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