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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Tearing: How does a tear heal and do I need to do anything special?

50 replies

morningpaper · 14/10/2005 09:38

Gave birth two days ago - 2nd degree tear. Asked for no stitches because I'd had enough by then.

Had a look in the mirror but I can't make out what the feck is supposed to be where.

When you tear, do the edges heal together, or does it heal 'open'?

Did I do the right thing by refusing stitches? What difference might it make?

Do I need to take any special measures?

OP posts:

Original poster

morningpaper · 14/10/2005 17:52

doh I missed that thread

I thought it was where the priest got dressed before mass ...

OP posts:

spidermama · 14/10/2005 18:06

Fifth one down Morningpaper.

sweetkitty · 14/10/2005 18:14

Had second degree tear too but had stitches never really bothered me that much. Used lavender oil in the bath and took arnica tablets.

Both DP and I agree it doesn't feel any different but I do have a strange and new bit of skin!

hunkerpumpkin · 14/10/2005 23:28

LOL at vestibule

Am due 14th January, SM

Twitchet · 14/10/2005 23:39

Had second degree tear after DS1. Don't know bout anyone else but the stitches took 45 mins to an hour, by a doctor because the midwife wouldn't do it, don't know why ... Dr wouldn't reveal how many stitches he'd done but did say I'd been very lucky and only just hadn' torn through to my bowl, at which point front and back would have joined up. Fantastic. Releieved though as had heard stories similar to one on this thread about that happening and then it not healing and they're one forever IYKWIM.

I healed quickly though, so my tip is to avoid loo paper at all costs and use cold water to clean your bits after peeing or pooing, when you get there. I balanced over baths, bedets and sinks and even used Andrex wet wipey things for my first poos.

Hadn't even considered not having the stiches and will think about it for next time. I sobbed inconsoleably while they did the sewing first time round, but at least got killer pain relief.

HuggyBear · 14/10/2005 23:56

oooh sweetbean, i had the same as you! its sooo painful, worse than the actually labour couldnt have a wee with out crying my eyes out. Ended up back in hospital, and the wonderful midwife gave me some anesthec (sp?) gel usualy used when puter cathaters in. it worked wonders! and was so worried about it happening again with ds2 that they gave me some in advance! but luckily i didnt need it

congrats morningpaper!

eldestgirl · 15/10/2005 00:18

I had a second degree tear and no stitches. Be careful of the tea tree, it gave me thrush. Sitting in a salt water bath was better.
I was told that protein aids healing, so ate a few steaks. Was also told to keep the area moist (as opposed to stitches which you need to try to keep dry apparently?) so that the edges of the wounds "granulated" and started to heal together. I ended up with a slightly stepped scar on my perineum but it hasn't given me any bother.

BTW can't believe you had the courage to LOOK! It took me weeks.

nicolaomalley · 15/10/2005 00:25

where is there a chat room for mums

dramaqueen72 · 15/10/2005 00:27

funny, my top tip to all new mums I knew is a jug of water poured over your bits whilst peeing. even if you didnt tear and just grazed or whatever. they think i'm mad til they actually go pee....OMG peeing hurts so much after a tear doesnt it?
I tore after my first, ds, and got a few stitches that hurt more than childbirth and frnakly didnt quite do all they should of...(have the strange extra 'bit' of tissue/skin that you were all mentioning....) this didnt affect my next two births tho, where i didnt tear, so its still not 'right' or ideal but i guess it works.........
I dont think refusing stitches can really make that much difference MP, going on my experience of having them but not making it 'right' either.
ffs dont look in the mirror. not for ages. eek.
I was told to take sea salt baths to help heal it. (not straight away when they are raw literally tho, because that sounds PAINFUL!) and second arnica as a brilliant thing to rub in/take in tablet form to help the quick healing.
hope this all helps.

mymama · 15/10/2005 13:10

I had 2nd degree tears with all three births. Had stitches though. Poured warm salty water when peeing/after peeing and blow dried "dry" after this and showers. I was fanatical about it being dry to heal but even more fanatical about nothing touching that area ever again - not even a towel!!!!

karmamother · 15/10/2005 15:25

I was advised by my MW to soak a sponge (reserved solely for this purpose) in water, sit on the loo, hold it over your perineum & squeeze it as you pee into it. Slightly less messy than trying to throw water onto yourself from a jug.

After I healed (2nd degree tear + stitches) I felt my vaginal opening was much narrower than before & sex was very painful. Went to see my obstetrician who proclaimed (after examining my bits) "My dear, he must be very well-endowed as there's nothing wrong with the size of you!!" Needless to say....partner was very pleased.

karmamother · 15/10/2005 15:27

Actually, I remember him saying I had a capacious vagina. Never felt so insulted in all my life.

Original poster

morningpaper · 15/10/2005 16:26

Karma how RUDE!

I was stiched with my first birth/tear and it was also very tight and sore for 18 months afterwards. Not sure now whether I have done the right thing but at least I will avoid that problem this time (and maybe have somewhere to store my keys and purse on a night out!)

OP posts:

karmamother · 15/10/2005 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

morningpaper · 15/10/2005 17:33

Hmm no I don't have hanging labia, but should you be able to see my kidneys?!

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FrightfullyPoshFloss · 15/10/2005 18:12

I had twice daily baths, had Dp off with me so was doable. I added Savlon to my baths (has instructions on the back for 'maternity' doses).

spidermama · 15/10/2005 21:03

I had a whole concoction of witchy brew in my baths as advised by my utterly fantastic indie MWs. I've had these herbs in my baths for the week following each of the four births so the smell really takes me back to that special time.

My husband always makes the brew but it has in it a whole head of garlic, comfrey, loads of sea salt, and uva ursi. It's like bathing in a herbal swamp, but it's fab.

My MWs also made herbal compresses to put in knickers. The had comfrey root, golden seal and shepherd's purse. Put a little in a square of muslin, roll into sausages, infuse for a couple of minutes in boiling water, allow to cool a little then stick them in your knickers.

SpikeMomma · 16/10/2005 20:29

Well, i had a third degree tear - oh yes, so lucky. I used 'the nappy lady's' 'out and about spray' which has lots of natural oils like lavender, eucalyptus and all that. It smelt really nice too - masked the lochia smell - ming-ing!. Plus arnica. Midwife said i was healing better than some more minor tears. Spray was great, so didn't have to touch me parts, which to be frank, felt like i'd been kicked by a horse - they were so swollen. Did the jug 'jingle' on the loo too.

Karma - PMSL (not literally i hasten to add) - you see, here is the funny thing - after the magic doc sewed me up, i seemed to have turned into a porn star looker likey - as there used to be the odd janggly bit down stairs - now it seems to have disappeared?!

Really have no idea what happened there. Mind you - there has only been a tentative feely semi squint look at the lady garden, because quite frankly - the thought of using the mirror so soon after birth is shocking. No no nooooooo!

karmamother · 17/10/2005 15:16

spikemomma, well done!! Always a bonus if the lady garden ends up tidier than before

I'm actually quite interested in this thread as I'm currently growing an enormous baby. I have gestational diabetes which, although well controlled, means bubs is large for dates. Not especially looking forward to pushing out a big one only to be left with a lax vagina (TMI?) & stress incontinence. So far, she remains breech so I may have a section instead. I suspect my dp will be pleased that I don't end up as a "welly-top", as we say up north.

Original poster

morningpaper · 17/10/2005 20:05

welly top!

Midwife came today and had a good look. She said that I need to keep it cleaner (have been having two baths a day but she said I need to keep my legs apart more in the bath and swill things around with my fingers - eek). She said it was hard to see how deep it was because my pelvic floor muscles were rather clamping everything together - not bloody surprised! She said it is healing well though and should be much better in about ten days.

I'm feeling more reassured now that she's checked me out! Part of me wishes that I'd had stitches but I SOOO wanted to hold my baby and I was stuck on the hospital bed at that stage in screaming agony having got out of the pool! DH wanted to pass her to me but I was saying 'I can't move, I can't touch her' - That side of things (immediately post-birth) I found a hundred times more horrific than in my drugged-up previous birth.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 17/10/2005 20:07

"shepherd's purse" - is that another name for lady garden?

Snort!

SoupDragon · 17/10/2005 20:08

MP - you should be proud that your pelvic floor muscles are capable of clamping everything together!

SpikeMomma · 18/10/2005 14:33

Karmamother - mine was a big un: 9lbs4oz - and don't think i've got a welly top. mind you - not done the biz yet, so if dh suddenly disappears in the throws, then i'll soon find out

soupdragon - pmsl. imagery of you with eyes cast up, finger on lips dregging up names for the flower of love

morning paper - most have pelvic doors - so you're not doing bad

karmamother - northerner, i knew it. horrah!

karmamother · 18/10/2005 21:59

spikemomma, I take it you're a northerner too? We have lots of delightful words for that area.

SpikeMomma · 19/10/2005 16:35

oh yes indeedy. don't start me on that game, i'll be online for hours

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