One born every minute-question about midwife

[littlebylittle]

I'm pg with number three and watched last night's programme. Makes me nervous about hospital birth. I had near home birth with no 1 and same midwife transferred to hospital with me, then home birth with no 2. Ideal for me, once I had a midwife, they were there the whole time. Is it usual for hospital midwife not to be there, assuming no other emergency comes up? If I were the nervous third time mum I'd hope my midwife was with me, not chatting about me in the staffroom. But I know I've been lucky. It just didn't seem to be a staffing thing- there were four midwives all sitting down. Breaks aside, is this normal?

Ive had 2 of my 4 DC at the Princess Anne where this is filmed and both times I had a student Mw with me throughout and the actial mw's were very attentive. I think they read each mother if you are nervous Im sure they would stay a bit more.
I had a friend who just wanted to be left and check when was necessary and they listened to her. Id recomend being open with them from the start, maybe write it in your notes ?
Good luck.

I recommend MLUs/birth centres if you're low risk. The birth centre near me provides 1 to 1 midwife care throughout the labour and I think they generally are all less busy and have less pressures and 'timing issues' from doctors.

At my local one the midwife will stay with
you the entire time if you want them to as they only have one person to look after at once.

Have a look at www.birthchoiceuk.com (sorry not sure how to do links) to find your nearest one.

Ushy, which bit in particular do you think was unethical? Just interested ........

Well I'd say that the way they spoke about her in the office bearing in mind it was filmed verged on unethical. Almost mocking of her request for epidural. I know it must be tough to be under scrutiny like that and everyone needs to discuss cases out of earshot but I wouldn't have been happy. They needed an off camera area for the midwives I'd say.

But at that point the lady wasn't in eastablished labour, was she? Or at least that's how the programme made it look. She was reported to be 3cm if I recall.

I think I'd rather she was drinking tea with her colleagues rather than bugging me! Sounds like I may be in the minority though. I'm expecting my first and am hoping that the midwives will just leave DP and I alone as much as possible. There's always an emergency button in the room isn't there? I'd hope they'd just leave us to it most of the time and then come in when we really need them. I'd much rather just be with DP than crowded with people.

I confess this may be naive innocence and I may be screaming for help and clutching the midwife's arm when it comes to it though!!

I had a midwife with me the entire time at the MLU who transferred with me to hospital when I failed to progress (probably to to DD's head being back-to-back which wasn't picked up as her back wasn't IYSWIM). She phoned several times to see how things were going and came to find me when I transferred back to the MLU 24 hours later.

Whilst at the hospital I had a midwife and a trainee, and at least one of them was in the room with me at all times, even when I ended up in surgery.

Lalluna, absolutely, she wasn't and was prob too early to have epidural. Bit like I was too late for one when I asked fifteen minutes before ds born. But my midwife respected the request and didn't make me feel silly. I joke about it myself now but I was dead serious at the time. And I would maybe have that midwife's off camera comments in my head if I were nervous labouring mother and had seen that programme. And I do know that any profession needs to say stuff but they were being filmed!! I am a professional myself, nit midwife, and know appropriate things to say out loud and in public. There are things dd's teacher will think about her but never say. Anyway I think I am being harsh and if this were Aibu I'd prob get yes yabu responses so better let it go now!

I have only watched half of the programme (sky+d so will watch rest later) but immediately felt for Sara. When I had my third four months ago, I was terrified (like the mw said, I knew what was coming!!). I had a bad experience with my first (32 hour labour, ambulance transfer from MLU, epidural, episiotomy, dd born not breathing, then PPH, and when I was finally transferred to the ward I couldn't move for two days because my undiagnosed spd had been exacerbated by having legs in stirrups for an hour, and I thought I'd been paralysed...) anyway, had ds 2 years ago with a brilliant mw and no intervention. When I went to have my third though, it was a different experience. Firstly, having had two 32 hour labours I was expecting similar, only to find that things kicked off so quickly I thought I was going to have the baby in the car. By the time I arrived at the labour ward I was anxious to say the least. I am a nervous sort of person at the best of times, but the mw did nothing to allay my fears, and made matters worse (imo) by getting someone in to help her (so I thought something was going wrong because she didn't communicate with me) then whispering to the healthcare assistant (so I kept thinking something was wrong) even though dh said afterwards they were talking about other patients etc. I was terrified because of the pain, and kept saying 'I can't do it' and the mw was just getting cross with me and saying I needed pethidine to calm me down, which I refused. Dh said afterwards she was rolling her eyes at me to her colleague... The mw I had with ds was so brilliant, she held both of my shoulders from the other side of the bed, and just kept telling me to focus on her, and was so encouraging. I can't really put it into words, but everything she said made me feel like I was getting somewhere. The mw with my third just wanted me to shut up. I was determined not to give birth on my back, but she wanted me to lie down, and kept telling me I was going to fall off the bed (I wasn't!). She couldn't get the canula into my arm, botched it the first time while telling me that I wasn't using the entenox properly (because she was stabbing me with a needle). When the antibiotic drip (I had group B strep) was finally set up, it didn't work properly and she didn't notice that my arm had swollen to almost double size and was cross with me for not telling her (I had other things on my mind!). Thankfully I was only with her for an hour as dd was in a hurry, and all was well in the end, but the experience was unbelievably different from my sons birth, and the key thing was the midwife's attitude. She did stay with me throughout, but basically had no choice as things were happening so fast. I'll go and watch the rest of it now, and see what happened to poor Sara.

I gave birth on the labour ward where obem was filmed and had a fantastic experience. I had to be on labour ward rather than mlu as ds was so big, and I was worried after reading negative things on here about labour wards. I had a midwife with me the whole time, they were friendly and chatty and considerate. They encouraged me to labour in whatever position I wanted to and I felt really supported. I do wonder if it helped though that I had managed to labour at home for so long with dh's support so I was already 5cm dilated by the time we decided to go in

Please don't watch One Born if you're pregnant! Ciske is right, it's edited to the extreme to create effect and these type of subsequent discussions. I know one of the couples filmed in it. The majority of midwives do their best to care for women in labour and be with them, however depending on the number of labouring women they have to look after, depends on the time they can dedicate to individuals. It's not ideal and we don't have enough midwives in the UK unfortunately. It's the odd individual midwife's attitude that can let the rest down.
PS - ve=vaginal examination!

DoulaKate-have learnt a valuable lesson- don't think I will again. It is much more gritty than other birth documentaries and I am a bit of a muppet to think it would be good viewing at twenty one weeks! The mum and baby bit at the end is good though. Have been a bit harsh when actually most of my objection was to a few comments from one midwife and even she might have been misrepresented. I know the relief I felt with each of my labours when a midwife arrived and I basically knew that she wasn't leaving. Bit more of a captive situation for the poor midwives once in my home- but I imAgine even then there were moments when they disappeared to the kitchen for a few mins. Midwives are brilliant and thank you .

I was refused an epidural in labour. It was a face presenting posterior first birth and the midwufe was furious with me for going to the hospital 'too early' I had labourd at home for many hours at this point and done 8 hours in hospital with no epidural. I felt very let down and wished I'd been warned that this lack of care could happen. It was really tough and painful and to have someone with me who was cross was just grim

These stories are so sad and make me realise how lucky I was.

With DD I was induced and was a VBAC so maybe that's why, but the MW only left for a few moments at a time and always told us where she was if we needed her. When she eventually got a break (after she'd been with me for 7 hours!) she found a student to come in with us instead. She introduced me to her replacement at shift change and even phoned the ward after she'd got home to find out how I got on (as did my consultant). The MW who delivered DD came to the postnatal ward when her shift ended to give me a hug before she went home!

I really did feel cared for - they were a lovely bunch. So sad that others haven't had the same good experience :(

I DIDNT EVER THINK MIDWIVES WOULD BEHAVE IN SUCH A WAY, I WAS REALY DISSAPOINTED WATCHING OBEM AND NOW ITS PUT DOUBT IN MY MIND FOR MY 1ST LABOUR TO THINK YOUR GOING TO BE GETTING THE P*SS TAKEN OUT OF YOU IN STAFF ROOM.AT THE END OF THE DAY THOUGH HOWEVER BAD THE LABOUR ETC SO LONG AS MY BABY COMES OUT BREATHING AND IN ONE PIECE.

I think it was must have been awful for Sara, as she was obviously scared. However, she was not (if we can judge the storyline as shown) dilating quickly and was getting herself panicked over something she had been through twice previously. It seems as though she had a bad experience previously and that obviously reflected in her approach to labour, but I think the importance of a positive mental attitude cannot be understated and I think both midwives tried to improve her situation by trying to create this.

If you put yourself in the position of the first mw in a room with a panicking woman who is unable to hear what you are saying to her due to her stress level, what would you do?

I think I would go to have a cup of tea.

There was nothing she could do to help Sara at 3cm and her presence was making it worse as the poor woman could only see 'epidural' if a medical person was in the room. I guess the mw was hoping time alone with her dp would help chill her out.

But that's just my humble opinion, not knowing either party or how Sara usually is with pain...

Haven't read entire thread but if you do end up in hospital & are asked if you want a student midwife present, then say yes as they have to clock up a certain number of births to qualify so they will stay with you for however long it takes.

I was at Princess Anne in Southampton (where One Born is filmed) and with DD1 the midwife stayed passed the end of her shift because I didn't know what I was having - she told me she'd have handed me over if I'd told her what we were having (we didn't know). So you could try that.

I've had two HB with another due this week, I know that every time my M/W came into the room my contractions stopped, ( I wandered if she thought I was imagining them !) so she left me to it with DH to support me and came when called. I felt supported and safe, and recognise everyone's needs are different, but for much of the time I certainly wouldn't have benefitted from her being in the room, and have seriously wandered if I would have ended up with a transfer and section if she had stayed. I've not seen OBEM but with anything on the TV you have to be mindful of the editing, as many posters have pointed out. As HCP's though midwives should be very careful of what they say in public, as even if people have consented to filming etc... you'd hope they'd still want to portray the sensitive caring side of the profession !

I laboured in a pool so had a MW with me the whole time. It was nice as she was happy to chat between contractions when I wanted to, and also the three of us were in companionable silence for long periods without it feeling odd. I wasn't quite so keen at first on the midwife who took over when her shift ended, but then she did stay with me constantly all day and came down to the labour ward with me when I had to transfer, and into theatre with me and held my hand all the time until DH was allowed in, and DS was born 40 mins after the end of her shift and she was still there for me. Not sure she even had a lunch break!

I think there is a difference between being left alone or being without a MW. Plus maybe there are more women labouring than MWs I don't know what the ratio is?

I cant speak for MWs but on any other hospital ward it is good practice to keep other members of staff informed about what is going on with 'your' patients as there is every possibility another staff member will have to cover your lunch break/ tea break etc or help in an emergency or while you answer the phone, bleep a Dr etc not to mention the complulsory paperwork that needs doing in the office/ at the nursing station.

I watched OBEM & didn't see coldness etc that some people picked up on but then again we all have different expectations. I don't agree that the woman should have been given an epidural before she was in active labour as she requested; if I recall she also asked for a c section & was rightly refused that too!

I know of a few MWs who left the profession due to the non-patient related pressures & most HCPs complain that they are forced to spend too much time at work doing non patient based responsibilities. I can't peak for everyone but this does leave patients with the impression that staff are not working unless they are visible with a bedpan in one hand!

Of course there will always be the odd rubbish MW same as there will be in every job but I would have been happy to have any of them looking after me they all appeared competent in my eyes.

laluna Wed 09-Feb-11 16:58:19
"Ushy, which bit in particular do you think was unethical? Just interested ........"

Refusing a woman pain relief. It is against clinical guidelines from NICE which states that women should not be refused epidurals at ANY stage of labour. In fact, epidurals are more effective if administered before 7 cm. with fewer bad outcomes.

Nasty, nasty behaviour - I feel for Sara