ELCS - Tricky Situation, what to do?

[redpickle]

I'm booked in for a CS in two weeks. My ILs will be staying at our house to look after 3yo DD and help out. My husband currently can't drive due to health issues so they will be doing a lot of ferrying around (hospital 40mins away). Thing is, I would like to see my DD in the afternoon of CS, and want her to meet the new baby but I'd rather not see them (especially FIL) while I'm still numb, haven't had a shower, trying to feed etc. They turned up the evening my daughter was born and I had a boob out, blood on my dressing gown and sick in my hair. It did not feel good to have them there for a hour.

Is it unfair to expect them to bring my DD to hospital and wait in Costa, without coming in, then take her and DH home?

I think that is a little bit unreasonable. Is there someone else who could drive your DH and DD that day. A friend?

Meant to say I understand why, I wouldn't want them there either, just if they drive that distance they will want to see their new DGC

I haven't got any experience of this, I must just say, but if it were me I'd probably explain/get DH to explain to them what I was worried about and would suggest DH go in first when they all get there, while they wait outside for a few mins, to give me a bit of advance warning to adjust sheets etc. I'm sure they'd understand if you explain - last time they probably just didn't think due to the excitement at seeing a new grandchild...! If they're staying til/after you come home from hospital, it's probably worth DH having a word to explain that you need a bit of privacy so they give you enough space then as well. Hope it all goes really well

I had my in laws visit and bring DS with them the afternoon of my ELCS with DD. They didn' stay long and to be honest hardly looked at me as were enthralled with their new ganddaughter and busy keeping DS under control!

I am sure they'd understand that you will want a few mins just as your new little family and wait long enough to let you get a bit sorted but I don;t think you can expect them to turn round and go home without seeing the baby at all.

My parents brought DD1 to visit me after dd2 was born (DH was already with me). They waited outside for a bit while DH went and fetched DD2. We had explained to them that we wanted DD1 to be the first person to meet her new sister and that was fine by them.

Then they got to come and visit!