petrified of stitches

[pacific407]

I'm due to have my first baby in 5 weeks time and, although I am obviously apprehensive about labour, the thing that scares me most of all is the thought of having to be stitched up afterwards.

I have never had stitches in my life and they petrify me...and the thought of having to have them in a very sensitive area, well...

Some reassurance would be gratefully received...(no horror stories please, I realise it could be horrific but I'm really after anthing that can help me sleep at night for the next 5 weeks!)

So a couple of questions:

1. First baby = tearing?
2. Is there anything I can do?
3. If I tear badly and need extensive stitching, will I be offered (or can I request) pain relief and will it help?

thanks in advance everyone.

I had loads of stitches with DD1, internal and external ones. I was given local anesthetic in the area (an injection, it was nothing more that a little scratch, honestly I hardly noticed).

After a few minutes the whole are was completely numb, I didn't feel anything at all. It took the midwife around 30-40 minutes if I remember rightly. I had to have a lot of stitches which is why it took so long. The midwife gave me gas and air and told me to use it if I needed to, but I didn't.

When she was done, it just felt really swollen, a bit sore to sit down, but other than that, it was fine

During the whole time I was holding DD1 in my arms, I barely took notice of what was going on down there!

When I had my first baby I pushed so hard I "exploded" (midwife's words not mine!) and had to ahve 30-odd internal and external stitches. As the nurse was stitching me up she kept apologisinga nd pulling pitying faces as though she assumed it must be awful for me. But it wasn't! I couldn't feela thing as had had an epidural anyway, plus they injecta local anaesthetic if you are happy to have it. Because I wasn't in pain she was able to do a really neat job and in fact other nurses commented on what beautiful stitching she'd done . I never saw it but imagined she must have done some sort of beautiful tapestry down there! Seriously try not to focus on this too much, it'll be the last thing on your mind when you are holding your baby...and anyway you may not tear. Just do as they tell you in terms of pushing at the right time, I tore because I gave one almighty push near the end when I wasn't supposed to! Got the baby out though!

1. Not necessarily. First and second degree tearing is common, third and fourth less common. I didn't tear with my first birth and nor did several other women who've talked about this on MN and IRL.

1. There are things you can do to reduce the risk of tearing but nothing will guarantee it won't happen during a vaginal birth. Check out this thread

1. Others can advise better than me but most of the posts I've seen do refer to the use of local anaesthetic and/or gas and air for stitching.

Pacific - I felt the same about stitches, but really you can't feel them being done, and if you can you must absolutely request more pain relief. A friend of mine felt that she suffered a lot when her stitches were done, but I don't think she spoke up. The pain of them being done is not something you have to just accept.

To answer you questions, I believe some people don't tear (but I've never met anyone who hasn't - or maybe they just don't say :)) But remember there are different degrees, even if you do tear, it doesn't necessarily follow that it will be awful.

I didn't try it myself but I believe you can massage the perineum with oil, which may make it more flexible

If you do tear badly then have pain relief for the repair and just keep taking pain killers afterwards.

I won't tell you my story (because it is grim) but when I saw the consultant she gave me quite different advice from what the midwives had told me about keeping stitches clean and preventing infection. The midwives had told me to bathe and use tea tree oil, pour water on when going to the toilet and dry with a hairdryer. The consultant told me to shower, and not bathe, because bathing softens the wound, to keep as dry and clean as possible and not to use anything on it, including a hairdryer - which can actually spread any infection further. Needless to say this second lot of advice worked, and the first lot didn't!

Please don't dwell on the horror stories everyones experience is different.

After labour being stitched up is a walk in the park! Just kidding. Honestly you will have your new baby in your arms and will hardly realise what they are doing. Had to have stitches with all 3 of mine and they gave me a small injection (again didn't really realise what they were doing) and got on with it.
NCT suggested massaging area between bottom and (blush) you know where with olive oil. I was never brave enough to give it a go (grin)
Good luck!

I had quite a lot of stitches after both DDs.

It's not automatic to tear with your first. Some people find perineum massage helps. I didn't do it anyway.

I was offered gas and air but didn't feel like it at that stage, was given an anaesthetic injection and a painkiller pessary (is that the one that goes up yer bum?) afterwards.

To be honest, though, you are so full of adrenalin, oxytocin and excitement by the time it gets to having stitches you barely notice what's happening and the pain felt like an irritation rather than anything else.

I had lots of salt baths afterwards and didn't suffer at all (but had terrible piles which might've been distracting me from the pain of stitches - sorry, tmi?).

Good luck!

Rufous, Pink and Plant, I have tried the massage thing, but almost fell off the bed because of the ridiculous positions I was having to try and get myself into to reach! Was told could make it part of sex but to be honest the thought doesn't appeal!!

I'd never had stitches either but it was really no bother. I had G&A when they gave me the local injection which only stung a tiny bit, then I couldn't feel any pain at all- in fact I was cracking jokes the whole way through! The only really difficult part was trying to get my legs up in the stirrups, I needed help with that

I tried the massage but it didn't work for me.

I felt just the same as you before my DD1 was born. You may not tear and even if you do it is unlikely to be as bad as you imagine.

I had three tears first time, two of which were stitched. I think this was partly due to having an epidural and not feeling what I was doing when pushing. At least I didn't feel a thing when being stitched. Took about 3 months to heal.

Second time I had a second degree tear and had gas and air plus local injection. It didn't hurt at all. Was all healed within 3-4 weeks.

Both of my babies had big heads and I was induced so not in good positions due to drips and monitors in the way.

A jug of warm water on your bits when weeing is fantastic for relieving the sting. Second time round I took my own jug with me. To be honest you'll be so wrapped up in your little one it won't be a big deal.

I had stitches because my DD was born with her arm around her head (this upset me greatly as late scans had showed that she had a small head so I was v. happy).

Second degree tear, local aesthetic, which I had G&A for, then G&A through the whole thing. I did not feel pain but it was just a bit uncomfortable as I could feel pulling.

But the best bit was that I got of my head on G&A without the interruption of labour :)

As others have said I was so high following birth that the stitching did not bother me one bit. I was slightly at the conversations the MWs had while they were doing it and doubly when one MW called her DH to let him know she would be late home while holding the torch shining on my bits (as I had a HB). To this day I wonder if when she got home she let him know what she was doing while speaking to him. I hope not .

How do they do internal stitching? I mean I know a baby just came out of there and its stretched out, but surely with instruments and a hand to do the stitching would prevent them from seeing what they are doing? Sort of like trying to stitch inside a mouth? Any midwives or experienced ladies out there?

When You know what you are looking at, it's not that difficult and will be over in minutes (local anaesthetic, obviously) If it's really bad then you get a spinal anaesthetic and they take you toi theatre for the obstetrician to repair. Having the baby is MUCH harder - don't worry!

I had stitches, but genuinely hadn't a clue what was going on, and really didn't feel a thing.

the midwife (or somebody - dunno , was pretty out of it!) said the doc was very good at episiotomies and stitching up after.

so I didn't tear, did have an episiotomy (the tyhought of which frightened the wits out of me beforehand) and yes I had a very workmanlike job done on me, with the bonus of an undamaged if large baby

I had a second degree tear both times and it was honestly not a problem. I took arnica afterwards which I think helped.

Good luck!

I was worried about tearing with DS2 (VBAC) and I did get a 2nd degree tear in the end. The discomfort of the stitches was very mild compared to what I had just done and I found I really wasn't bothered!

Everything down below is sore and delicate anyway post-birth and the stitches didn't add anything to that

Okay, this is probably not what you want to hear but my stitches hurt a lot when they were being done. That was because the local didn't work properly and I was just too tired to be able to get the doctor's attention and tell her. So it might be a good idea to brief your birth partner to keep checking that you're ok while they're doing it, just to be on the safe side. That way, the same thing won't happen to you.

Having said that, after the stitches were finished, they were no bother. Didn't hurt at all while they were in and were dissolvable so came out by themselves. I think it's one of those things where the thought is worse than the reality iyswim.

Good luck with the birth - hope all goes well for you.

I went to theatre for a spinal anaesthetic, everyone involved was very impressive. I am happy to report that I followed my painkilling regime pretty faithfully afterwards and really wasn't put off my stride by the stitches at all.

Water births are great for relaxing tissue and helping it to stretch, and also supporting your and the babies weight of your perineum - all of which can help reduced tearing.

I have had 3x wter births, of fairly big babies - 9lbs 1oz, 10lbs 2oz and 10lbs 13oz. One slight graze, one small tear - no stitches ever needed.

I had a few stitches after an episiotomy which I had to have due to a few reasons - baby distressed, massive head (top line on the graph) and I needed a wee - which I didn't realise at the time. (Tip - try to make sure you don't need a wee when pushing). I'd gone a bit numb down there so didn't realise but I'm sure things would have been a lot easier if my bladder was empty...

Stitches were fine and I'm really squeamish, just get the gas and air back and make the most of it! They took about 40 minutes and the midwife that did them had only been qualified a year. I was initally quite concerned about this but she had an experienced midwife monitoring her and I was told by a couple of midwives they were the neatest stitches they'd seen for years. They healed up fine too.

My experience of being stitched doesn't really count as I had an epidural, but I was very scared of how they would be after. I'm the kind of person who gets a week-long attack of thrush if I wipe a bit over-enthusiastically, surely having stitches in my bits would be the worse thing ever? Nah. Sore, yes, but no more than I would have expected after the whole birth experience. They healed, dissolved, and no bother ever since.

I have had a 3rd degree tear and 2nd degree tear.

With the 3rd degree I was stitched up in theatre and didn't feel a thing (except desperation to get back to new baby).

With 2nd stitched up by MW and because I had had an epidural again didn't feel a thing, all I remember is cuddling dd2 whilst she did it.

If you do tear then afterwards take all the pain relief offered, or ask for some if you are in pain.

I've torn 2 out of 3 times and couldn't tell that I'd torn

Was given an anaesthetic injection (was fine having it, honestly) then glugged back as much Gas and Air as I could get down me

It really was ok, both times

Good luck

To be honest, you won't care or notice by then! I've had stitches with both births and I can't really even remember them happening :)

Episiotomy with first - no pain as I'd had an epidural and didn't even notice TBH as I was enjoying my new baby

2nd degree (nearly 3rd degree - but consultant spotted a "whisker" of muscle fibre...) tear with 2nd DC, but after a LONG wait finally got sewn up with a local and a bit of gas and air (but more of an excuse to keep the gas and air )

Didn't feel either the tear or the episiotomy happen - was a bit busy at the time!

Only thing that made my eyes water the second time was the prospect of an epidural and theatre for the stitches (until the "whisker" was spotted) and the dopey trainee MW nearly knocking my lady bits off as she reconstructed the bottom of the bed with my bum in the way!!

Sorry TMI, but they really shouldn't hurt at all, and you may not even get stitches. If you do and they even hurt a teeny bit, you can ask (LOUDLY) for more pain relief. Just make sure if they need to put the bed together, they help you get out of the way first and slide you up the bed - or unlike me, scream and demand to be moved up the bed (I can be a bit slow...)

Good Luck!

perhaps reading these boards is not a good idea when pg with the 1st!

had a 4th degree tear with dd, and it still hurts a bit now, but if it happens you just have to get on with it.

try and stay as calm as you can, and try to be as relaxed as possible.
and if your very nervous avoid these boards for a while.

goodluck hope it all goes ok for you