Help, I'm having a pre-birth meltdown!

[RockLover]

Hi,

I posted yesterday about my painful sweep which upset me a little, but today I seem to have gone into panic mode.

I am 40+3 with DC2 and suddenly feel absolutely terrified of going through labour and birth. I had an upset tummy last night which left me feeling very sick and I was up for 2 hours trying to calm myself down.

I have a phobia of throwing up and have convinced myself that I'm just going to throw up endlessly during labour. I have had severe nausea throughout the entire pregnancy, so obviously this must be why I'm anxious.

But the last 3 days or so my bowels have been playing up (normal for end of pregnancy I know) and I have been feeling really rough and today I have gone into free-fall panic.

I didn't panic like this when pregnant with DD (6 yrs ago now) and I didn't throw up during labour, so why am I worrying so much?
What the hell do I do? How can I get through it all feeling like this? Has anyone else panicked before going into labour?

Yes I did but funnily enough once I got to hospital I relaxed. I think this is quite common

I panicked to the point I woke at night from about 34 weeks not being able to breathe! But once labour started it was fine and I didnt throw up once, good luck :)

It's a very hard period, being overdue, uncomfortable, and your brain playing around with what it knows is coming but doesn't know when.

First, you have done this before... so you can do it again.

Second, upset tummy is good sign that it will all be over soon.

Third, I used to be very uptight about vomiting, but have come to think that actually it's better to get it over with... the waiting & worrying is worse than the vomiting itself. In fact I now compare vomiting to labour - it overwhelms your body and you have no control once it's happening - but you come out the other side OK!

I did vomit once during my first labour, but it came on so quickly I had no time to worry about it, but more importantly once it was over I had enough other things to worry about (quickly increasing contractions!) that I had forgotten about it almost straight away, and it didn't happen again.

To get over the panic feeling, can you go into organising mode so you are convinced you are ready in every way, and then whatever does happen with your body, you'll be easily able to cope because it will be the only thing you have to deal with at the time?

Good luck! And perhaps by the time you read your replies on here you'll have a baby in your arms!

Thanks so much for your replies, I am doing my best to try to relax. It doesn't help that I read a thread on what they don't tell you about labour and birth and scared myself silly!

I never got to the pushing stage with DD as she was in the wrong position so I had an emcs. I am going for a Vbac and I'm very anxious about pushing tthe baby out and what damage I may do to myself.

Also (TMI, sorry) as I have been going to the loo (BMs) so much recently I now have a fissure which is really painful and I'm worried what will happen to it when everything stretches as the baby is born.

I have my bags packed and ready, baby clothes washed, cot set up etc, so I am ready to roll, it's just this damn anxiety.

The mw has made notes about my sick phobia so they know to offer me anti-emetics and I know there is nothing else I can do to be more prepared.

I hope I have a better night tonight as I have to be up early for the school run, although I am not coping very well with doing it at the moment, everything seems so hard.

Don't panic, use these last few hours/days to relax. If you can't relax, keep yourself busy so you don't find time to worry .

I'm not good about being sick but I'm not phobic. However when I was in labour with my DS I was very sick in between every contraction for the last hour or two. I had morphine and between that and the gas & air I think they made me worse. SO... when I had my DD at home, as much as I was wanting to crack open the gas & air I decided not to in case I was sick. I was already a little nauseous from a long labour and I figured I would rather handle the pain, than pain and throwing up IYSWIM. I would say that if you can, avoid the drugs.

No idea about the fissure. Dare I say, without terrifying you, that you won't notice or care what's happening to it at the time of pushing. I've pushed two out - first had a huge head and took 2 hours to get out. I remained completely intact down below and was stunned. I'm clearly more stretchy than I thought I would be! 2nd birth was far quicker (6 mins) and I was convinced I had ripped everything due to the speed, but again it was largely intact without any stitches etc needed. The pain was, erm, painful, but it's quickly forgotten by a nice baby at the end of it, and an overwhelming sense of relief.

Good luck. Believe you can do it and stay relaxed and focused. If in doubt do deep breathing :-D)

Thanks Suzi, that's very reassuring. I have already asked the mw to put in my notes that I want no drugs. Not just because of the sickness thing, but I hate being out of it and need to feel that I am in control of myself.

I was ok with the gas and air last time, so I may try it, but will not continue if it has any adverse effects. I just hope I am strong enough to get through without help. I will consider an epidural, but only if I am absolutely desperate.

I was fairly calm before I went into labour with DD, so I'm rather surprised at myself that I am so anxious this time round. It's kind of a weird mix of fear of the unknown (pushing) and fear of the known (pain of contractions). I think I will spend tomorrow actively relaxing and practicing my breathing in preparation.

I am supposed to be having another sweep tomorrow, but I think I may refuse it as it will make me uptight again (the one on Sat was horrendous). I would rather be relaxed and ready to go into labour than go through another painful sweep that probably won't work.

I'm due to be induced on Thursday and my anxiety has gone through the roof! I feel constantly sick and on the edge of panic and only seem to be able to relax when I am about to go to sleep.

I really am struggling.

You don't have to be induced. If you're struggling, why not see how you feel on Thursday and then hold off for a few more days if you want?

With induction it is more likely that you're going to want drugs.

I agree, don't be induced if you don't want to be. You'll only be 41wks? So plenty of time for baby to come if you're not induced.

Try and keep yourself distracted. You'll go into labour when you're ready and your body knows what to do. Your body is designed for it and even if you stress, or scream, or want every drug in the world, it'll still happen. It's almost completely out of your control so not worth worrying about. What you can control though is ho much control you feel over the process and how calm you feel. Do you have any sort of relaxation or hypnotherapy CDs? They're good for bringing the panic down. Failing that, a sneaky glass of wine and lots of chocolate!

I don't know if that last paragraph is reassuring or not... someone told me much the same before I had my first and it really helped me in labour. it helped me to know that my body was driving things and I couldn't do anything about it except stay calm and encourage it to happen, rather than fight it. As I said, my birth with DD was lovely and I would actually WANT to give birth again. It's not all pain, panic and bad.

hey RL, have been wondering how you are and thinking you must be towards due date by now.

If it helps, I'm feeling exactly the same. Every single apt I have with anyone medical I ask if there will be a problem with having aan anti emetic when I get to hospital. Everyone says it will be no problem but no one will actually write in my notes that I should require one (closest I've got is a mw wrote on the labour notes 'servere vomit phobia - requested anti emetics'). Have given DH strict instructions that as soon as we make it to the hospital he is to keep requesting anti emetic injection for me repeatidly until I get one, and then once I get it to start on the warning that I will want an epidural so they are prepared - think I will be an awkward customer

I'm paniking all the time too - I'm in complete denial and people saying they were sick but it was OK for them doesn't help me one bit - if people think like that they really can't (meant in the nicest way possible) understand how bad it is for us.

Thinks have gone a bit mental here as I had a scan last week (36 weeks) and baby was off the chart big - I've been told they will now not let me go beyond my due date because of this (baby was estimated at nearly 9 lbs last week!). I have another scan next week, and, dependingon the results they will induce me (could be as soon as next week, they might leave it until due date). The whole induction thing frieghtens me just as I feel like I'm more likely to be sick.

I hope everything goes well with you and please let me know how things go after you have the LO . I'll be so glad to get this out of the way and just ahve the LO and feel normal again (Still on cyclizine here....).

Well, in my area they will only allow me to go 7 days over because I had an emcs with dd and they don't like taking chances with potential scar rupture I suppose.

Hi Angels, I wouldn't worry too much about a big baby, a lady in my ante-natal group just gave birth naturally to a 12lb 3oz boy and she is doing fine! But it's good that your consultants have noticed your baby is on the big side and are taking action accordingly.

My mw was really helpful re my emetophobia and has written on my notes to give me an anti-emetic as soon as I ask for one. She also said that recently she had a lady that was just sick constantly in labour and she was given drugs for it as it really takes the focus off labour and can make it very difficult for the mw to actually do the job of getting the baby out.

I'm still on Cyclizine here too, although had cut down massively until the last few weeks as my anxiety has crept up. It doesn't help that I had a sweep on Sat that was excruciatingly painful (I have anothe thread about that on here), think that kind of ramped up the panic a bit. All I want is to be calm and accepting, I was much less worried when I went into labour with dd, so I'm not used to feeling so apprehensive about birth.

RL hope if you have it the induction goes well. Btw have you tried natal hypnotherapy? It does help me to relaxa bit which reduces the anxiety at that moment.

hi rocklover,
not sure if you remember me but i'm another extreme emetophobe. so sorry you're going through this as it's the last thing you need to think about so close to birth, i was dreading it and even planned a home birth as i hate hospitals but i gave birth on sunday, in hospital with my requested anti emetic and i honestly didn't feel any nausea. the only time i felt nauseous was when, like you, i had my major 'clear out' on friday morning but i think it was because of the connection iyswim.

i hope things happen soon for you without having to b induced but if you need to be then try to think about how well you're going to feel afterwards (apart from the fact you'll have a scrummy baby too!), for the first time since the summer i can eat the food i like and feel more human than i have done in months. you've had such a tough time through this pg that you will notice the difference immediately!

hope all goes well for you and really try not to worry as you will not be sick

Thanks needtosleep. I had yet another "clearout" this morning and I now feel very sick and washed out. I am going to go for the induction as I just can't bear feeling this awful anymore. I just don't know how I'm going to cope if I feel this poorly tomorrow.

I know alot of it is panic, but I just can't seem to calm down. I'm still on Cyclizine, so will make sure I dose myself up tomorrow (as I do every day). Maybe I should ask for an anti-emetic injection as soon as I get there, I really don't know what to do. I'm scared of flipping out and letting everyone down when I'm in labour.

I think one of the 'perks' of labour (if there is one) is that you get to behave however you feel like (including losing it) and it's OK. Don't worry about letting anyone down as you're doing an incredible thing by giving birth - how can that be letting anyone down?

I'm thinking I'll dose myself up on cyclizine when I start labour too, but, I will tell the hospital when I had my last dose as otherwise it's possible they might give me something else ontop of cyclizine and the dose might be too high (???). Really do feel for you and understand the panic though - I go between odd calm and manic panic.

Hi Rocklover,
What things can you do that you know will help you to relax? I believe that it is only natural to feel anxious at this time, birth is a huge experience, and we have no control over how it will go. I'm in same boat as now 38 weeks, and up at night worrying. I found a pregnancy relaxation cd that helped. Or just having a really good laugh about something. Get some comedy dvd's out. distract yourself.
Everything will be ok!

Thanks ThatllDo, I have stuff I need to be doing later, such as last minute additions to my bags, ironing clothes for DD so that my Dad has plenty to dress her in when he is looking after her. So that will be some distraction.

When that's sorted I'll spend some quality time with DP, as it will be our last chance and hopefully he can help chill me out lol.

I have an additional worry today, baby is having a very quiet day, he has been moving, but much smaller movements than the last week or so. He has done this periodically, having mental days, then very slow days and all has been fine. Still makes me worry though.

rocklover i had the cyclizine injection and it was brilliant, i had it when i was about 4cm dilated but only to give me the reassurance to have g&a (was worried it'd make me nauseous), i really didn't feel sick at all.

wishing you all the best for tomorrow, will be thinking about you, hugs

Thanks Needto and Angels, I reckon I will definitely get the jab, I did when I was in labour with DD and it helped.

The trouble with me is that I feel sick at the drop of a hat and I've also had terrible nausea all the way through this pregnancy, so I don't expect it to end until the baby is out.