I am absolutely gutted :-( ECV didn't work. Can't believe how upset I am and comments from friends are not helping. :-(

[CrapBag]

Had an ECV today. It didn't work. Baby has her bottom firmly wedged in my pelvis. The consultant really did have a good go at getting her to turn but I think he thought fairly early on it wasn't going to work. After an attempt in each direction, he knew she wasn't shifting.

Now having an ELCS in 2-3 weeks time.

After having a 3rd degree tear last time and deciding that I really didn't want an ELCS this time but wanted to do a natural birth, I am absolutely gutted to not have that choice. They did say I could try for a vaginal birth but I didn't want to risk it after having the tear last time so felt that an ELCS was the slightly better option.

I feel so down. I should be excited that my baby will be here in less than 3 weeks but this just seems to have overshadowed it and comments like "oh well, at least you can be prepared" and "at least its over soon" are really not helping. I am devastated tbh and I don't like these stupid 'optomistic' comments that are basically saying "never mind".

I know there is nothing I can do and I have to just get on with it. I am well aware of that but I am really upset about it and want to feel that I am justified in being upset and not think "oh well, never mind" because that isn't what I think.

I was looking forward to waiting to go into labour and even though I had a difficult forceps birth last time, I was really looking forward to giving birth again and now I'm not.

I know the outcome will be fine, the safe delivery of my baby but it doesn't stop me from feeling sooooooo down about it.

I know I can hope she will turn but given how the consultant really tried, I know in my heart of hearts it isn't going to happen and she is staying put.

I just want to cry tbh.

Try getting on your hands and knees 4 times a day for 15 minutes at a time. I have heard it can encourage baby to turn.

I am sorry it didn't work. It is so upsetting when people tell you all the reasons you shouldn't be sad about something that is actually making you really sad.

You know that you will come to terms with it but you want to be allowed to take your time and have some support whilst doing so.

I have been where you are. I went home and cried all night. So sorry for you, I know just what you mean about knowing your baby won't turn. No advice - think you've had enough of that today by the sounds of things - but lots of sympathy.

Thanks.

I take it your baby didn't turn after doric?

Sorry to hear you are upset. If it helps, I had an ELCS with DS2 and it was wonderful, a really really lovely birth and I have very happy memories of it - and no trauma like the first time round. Recovery was also fine, felt 'normal' after a week (was not in pain at any point), driving again after two weeks although still careful not to lift and so on for a few more weeks.

Good luck and I hope it is still a lovely experience, albeit different than what you had hoped for.

Hopefully that will be the same for me LML. I am not looking forward to the recovery and the fact that DH is now going to take an extra week off work unpaid, but I also have M.E. and I want him around for as long as possible after to help with the baby and our toddler.

I know they say 6 weeks but some people don't take that long do they? The consultant said you can leave hospital after 2 days if all is well and some women have been leaving after 1 day if they aren't in pain so fingers crossed.

I'm afraid not Crap. The section was fine - I've since had a VBAC and preferred it if I'm honest but the procedure and recovery were uneventful and it's a distant memory now. The feeling of disappointment was awful though, I was so sad. I just tried to focus on the fact that one way or another I'd have my baby in 3 weeks and once he did arrive it diminished the bad feelings a lot.

Just wanted to add my sympathy, I had a similar experience with my first dd. I also got very pissed off with well meaning friends and relatives trying to be positive. It would sound irrational to them, but at the time I felt they were saying I 'wasn't allowed' to be upset about not getting to go into labour, as the safe delivery of the baby was obviously the most important thing.

I think you're completely justified in feeling upset, it's something you will be able to deal with, but I really feel for you with the comments making the situation harder for you.

Wishing you well with the end of the pregnancy and the birth - can you talk to anyone about how you feel? Is your DP understanding?

Re pain relief and recovery, I had morphine in my spinal which was fab - all the midwives said women who had it this way were on their feet really quickly. And less side-effects. Maybe see if you can talk things through with the anaesthetist in advance, in light of your concurrent illness and having a toddler to care for too.

After 4 normal deliveries my 5th was breech and ECV failed. I was terrified at the thought of a CS.

As it turned out it was a really positive experience. I left hospital after 2 days and was surprised how quickly I recovered.

Sorry the ECV was unsuccessful. One lovely thing to look forward to is after the ELCS you go into recovery for 30 mins, a little oasis of silence and calm, & one of my most treasured memories, me, dh and new baby skin-to-skin looking at us with wonder and us looking back at him.

I know you are saddened by not getting the birth you wanted, completely understand how important that is after a traumatic first delivery. If you ever want to hear lots of positives and tips about an ELCS just say or pm me.

I was about to come on and make similar comments to your friends, but now I won't.

Just wanted to say though, that ELCS recovery is apparently nothing like EMCS recovery which can be long, slow and painful. I've been looking into this a lot as I had a horrendous recovery from an EMCS with DS and I am currently deciding between VBAC and ELCS.

You are totally justified in feeling upset, don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be. You need to grieve a little for the birth you would have liked to have, before you can get your head around the birth you are going to have and start to get excited about meeting your baby.

I know you feel like your friends are issuing platitudes, but they are only trying to make you feel better.

Nothing but sympathy from me. I had a normal birth with DC1, and DC2 ended up EMCS, and I was told afterwards that all future children would be ELCS due to various medical reasons. I'm a huge homebirth and natural birth advocate and my first birth, although normal, was a mess for reasons I won't bore you with and I had hoped to put some demons to rest.

I also really feel I'm missing out on the whole waiting for labour, the experience, the lot. I get quite jealous hearing people talking about it! My c-section with DC2 was fine, not the end of the world at all - but, I'd rather a normal birth. People have always offered similar platitudes to me too but meh. The magic just isn't quite there.

6 weeks is "back to normal" pretty much - most people are feeling okay to do most things by two weeks for what it's worth.

Im in a nearly identical position to you! However i confess that the 30 % best shot chance of turning this bub plus lots of risk factors, size of bub and made me decide not to go down the ecv path. I knew that my reaction would be just like yours and i couldnt cope with that. So ive opted also for a elscs in a couple of weeks as the safest option. I ahve consoled myself with the knowledge that this bub is there for a reason, hasnt moved sonce 25 weeks and may well have a the cord somewhere it shouldnt be or some other reason... so i will suck it up.. but if just one more person tells me that this bub will turn is i do x y or z i may not be responsible for my actions!!!!

Sorry the ECV was unnsuccessful.
Have you considered moxibustion?
I have used it with some success.
www.expectancy.co.uk/docs/advicesheet09.pdf

You can buy the sticks on e bay. Also these techniques- www.spinningbabies.com/baby-positions/breech-bottoms-up/about-breech Would you consider vaginal breech birth? You could find out if there are any midwives experienced midwives at your trust that are confident in this. Otherwise, make sure they ckeck position before the ELCS as sometimes babies turn at the last minute! S x

have been exactly where you are, i had a 3rd deg tear with DS (now 3) and then DD (born in May) was footling breech. had refused from the outset an ELCS due to tear planned a home birth with her, and when we realised she was breech i did everything to get her to turn - hands and knees, bum wiggling, laying upside down, moxi sticks you name it. eventually went for ECV ( i think they were humouring me) which failed.

unlike you i wasnt really given the choice to ELCS or not - or even to go into labour of my own accord so was booked for section at 38 weeks. i knew from 37 weeks i was booked in and it was the worst week of my life. i didnt sleep, eat, was a complete nightmare to live with and spent the whole week crying and (i am deeply shamed to say now) resenting my baby. it was supposed to be one ofthe happiest days of my life and i was dreading it. i felt cheated. cheated of labour, and the chance to do it naturally. was also dreading the scar i would be left with (shallow? me?!)

so went in at 38 weeks for the ELCS and i can honestly say that it was nowhere near as bad as i imagined. had her friday lunchtime, was home saturday afternoon. i had skin to skin as soon as she was born and she was feeding within 20 mins. the recovery was tricky sometimes as you would expect from a section (esp with a toddler to look after) but i can tell you that it was a LOT easier than getting over a 3rd deg tear.

i regret now wasting my time and energy being so upset and fearing that i wouldnt love my baby and not enjoying that last week or so of what had been a lovely pregnancy. it didnt go the way i wanted but she got here, safely and she is completely fab.

sorry for the long post but wanted to share what happened to show that it CAN be positive experience. its easy to say not to worry but have been there and you will be fine - honest!
x

Thanks for the support.

Shelley sounds exactly like how I am feeling right now. I felt awful last night when I realised how resentful I am feeling. I do feel 'cheated' about not getting a 'nice' birth (even though there are no guarantees I wouldn't tear again but they were so optomistic with how well I healed, I really thought vaginal birth was going to be the way to go).

Luckily when I dread things and imagine the worse, they are never as bad as I make them out to be so I know it won't be as bad as I am building it up in my head.

Chloeb I know what you mean! I am getting a lot of "oh well, she may still turn, have you tried this ridiculous position" etc. My best friend has just advised me to start taking arnica tablets now to help the recovery which I am glad about as she isn't spouting platitudes that I don't want to hear, and she probably knows that. She is good at picking up on how I am feeling from my texts.

Just hoping for a good recovery now. DH is going to have a month off work which financially is going to be a real struggle but I want the support, particularly with having a 3 year old as well. So at least he will be around for nearly all of the recovery time, then I have friends who will come over for the next couple of weeks before I can drive again.

Poor you, I had two breech babies went for an ecv with the first but as soon as the consultant looked at me he said this isn't going to work and that was that. I wasn't bothered by having a section so wasn't gutted, like you, but can understand that reaction.

I agree, ignore the 'oh, it might still turn' comments because it probably won't at this stage but do be aware that a planned section is fine and if your dh is around to help for four weeks you'll be in a very strong position by the time he goes back to work. Also the not driving thing is an urban myth, you can drive from whenever you feel ready to do so - probably about two weeks.

Good luck!

Hi there - I had acupuncture prior to doing moxibustion and the baby turned the next day - perhaps it was coincidence but I was very happy with this so perhaps it might be worth doing (I know several people who do it in London who are recommended if you were nearby).

Otherwise I think preparing for the ELCS so you have as much knowledge and control as you can maybe making sure it is as 'natural' as possible might help you move on and find a positive way to get through it.

There is also a natal hypnotherapy CD for CS at:

www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/7.html

I had a traumatic birth previously so have had to get my head around something different to you but things like the hypnotherapy and the acupuncture (which I am still having) have helped me feel better about the choices I am making this time. Hoping you can find a way to feel better about it too.

I can sympathise where you are coming from. I had a traumatic 1st labour with induction, epidural, forceps and 3rd degree tear, and really wanted my second labour to be different and to set a lot of deamons to rest.

However second pregnancy turned out to be twins, and they were breach, so it was an elective section for me.

Turns out it was BRILLIANT. I recovered a lot quicker than after the forceps/tear and the whole experience was calm and a lot less traumatic than first time. I was in hospital for a fortnight afterwards (nothing to do with the CS - twins were in SCBU) so did very little apart from express which might be the reason I healed so quickly, but it definitely didn't take me 6 weeks to recover.

Now although I am sad that I still have never experienced a fully natural birth, with the contractions building up slowly and baby placed on tummy afterwards etc it doesn't seem so important to me now. Maybe cause I have 3 under 3 I just don't have time to think about it!
Good luck with the birth, however it goes and enjoy your new baby.

Re: lucy101 & selina's post I think I read somewhere that moxibustion has a 70% success rate at turning babies - could be worth a bash?

Aw I'm sorry you are so disappointed.

DD was undiagnosed breech and I wish wish wish I'd had an elcs instead of emcs.

Lots of people report that they had a very special day with a planed caesarian. I'm sure you will too

I had a failed ECV for DS1, and ended up going into labour that day and having a CS. I had a VBAC for DS2 but to be honest I had more difficulties post-birth for DS2 than DS1- my stitches were really painful. Let's think about the positives...

You can all plan for when the birth will be. This is especially for your DC1 who you know can be cared for, you can prepare them when you're not in labour - how lovely.

You can sit about waiting for the ELCS to happen with a lovely magazine, a cup of tea and some chocolate by your side. And NO PAIN!

I was told that ELCS are just really happy and relaxed events for parents and staff, choose a lovely CD to put on etc.

It's no bad thing to be in hospital for a few days with DC2 as it can be a lovely time for you to bond with DC2 without worrying about how DC1 is becoming jealous.

And your baby is just breech - just upside down. There is no medical scariness about that!