Help me feel positive again

[Limelight]

I'm 41+4 days and am booked in for an induction on Friday (when I'll be 42 weeks). This was the latest they'd let me go at the hospital.

Because I've refused an induction until then, they've insisted that I'm monitored this week. My 20 min appointment yesterday turned into an 8.5hr slog, so you can imagine how thrilled I am. This was mostly because of a very active baby!

While I was there, the MW revealed that (a) she's grown a lot and is now 'a big baby', and (b) she might well be posterior.

I think this, plus long wait yesterday, plus my friends and family seemed to go into mass hysteria, plus impending induction (which I really didn't want), plus this meaning I won't be able to give birth in the lovely new birth centre, has sent me over the edge! I'm now officially scared!

And this isn't even my first! DS1 was such a straightforward labour with just G&A. And was pretty quick too.

I know I'm being ridiculous and whingey but just feel like I'm losing control of everything. Can't say this in RL because everyone including DH has entered into a mass state of panic, like I'm a walking health crisis of something.

I'll shut up now!

Limelight just wanted to say I understand how you feel, I was in exactly the same position 9 weeks ago. DC3 was posterior and I was 12 days over. Also expecting a big baby, previous 2 dc had been big also.

I think the thing that worried me most was a cascade of intervention if induction failed to work straight away and all the extra monitoring etc. I had never been overdue before and like you had had straight forward labours with just gas and air.

Anyway, I am happy to say the induction went really well. I was told initially that they would just rupture the membranes but on examination they could not be reached as I was 2cm dilated (as I had been for the past 2 weeks!) so was given a prostaglandin pessary. After a few hours I was getting regular tightenings but nothing painful. i was examined and told that I was 3cm and could have my waters broken. All this time I had been up and about, not told to stay on the ward, so had walked round the hospital grounds and spent a lot of time in the coffee shop!!

After my waters were broken labour was 1hr40mins, managed with gas and air, all very quick and at times felt overwhelming but no extra assistance needed which was great. DD was big though, 11lb11.5oz, but I had no tears so all was well, my previous dc had been 9lb15 and 10lb7 and early or on time so I guess it was to be expected.

Overall i have to say all the worry and stress that the thought of induction caused was not worth it. I know that some people have a difficult time with it but I think if your body had laboured well before then it should all be fine.

I hope it goes well for you.

My neighbour was induced and she said she didn't feel it was as bad as everyone said it was going to be. posterior babies can turn last minute if I'm not mistaken so no need for panic now.

I think people feel the need to panic you when you're heavily pregnant and it makes me they think they're telling you to prepare you but in reality you only panic even more!

Hope you manage to enjoy your last few days of pregnancy, just think soon you'll be wondering where the kicks are and missing them. Hope it goes well for you x

Thanks so much! I think I just need a bit of reassurance and that's really helpful.

Assuming thst you are mentally competent, the hospital has no right to tell you that you are "not allowed" to refuse induction - regardless of how overdue you go. I'm absolutely not suggesting that people should disregard medical advice willy nilly, but I do think that people should be aware that medical treatment is not compulsory. Personally, I am always wary of people who say things "have to" be done without explaining why they are a good idea. AFAIK the 40+14 is a bit of an arbitrary deadline. Do you have any particular risk factors that mena waiting is particularly concerning in your case? Do you have any concerns re your dates being right?

If you're big on being in control, might you be happier with a CS? If so, you could always tell your midwife that you won't be consenting to induction but you're perfectly happy to have a section. You might not get it, but if that would be your preference it wouldn't hurt to try.

Hi everyone and thanks for your message ZombiePlan.

It's a difficult one because as soon as I passed over from community midwife to hospital care, I seemed to enter a whole other world! They just don't offer any alternatives in the way they speak to you, and I've been left with an overwhelming feeling that even by waiting this long, I'm doing something 'risky'. Having said that, I was back in for monitoring yesterday and saw a lovely MW who was very positive and told me not to give up because a lot can happen in a short time. She also told me that the baby is now fully engaged (hurrah!), and she doesn't think she's posterior (she thinks she was so overactive on Monday that it would have been difficult to tell).

I've also been trying to pinpoint in my mind what's worrying me and have decided it's three things. Firstly it's the 'cascade' of intervention as Greenbeanie mentioned.

Secondly, it's being monitored having had such a negative experience of it this week.

Thirdly, I've been wedded to the Birth Centre largely because it meant not having to stay in the hideous maternity ward after the birth, rather than a particularly strong desire for a water birth or for the IKEA-ed rooms. I hated hated hated the maternity ward last time and am really quite unhappy at the prospect of going back. The delivery rooms and staff were fab. Maternity ward dreadful and I was there much longer than I needed to be because essentially they forgot about me and I was too naive to do anything about it.

Anyway, I'm trying to be positive and remember that I can control some of this. I'm supposed to stay over tonight so they can induce tomorrow morning. I'm going to query that today.

Thanks for your support ladies, and I'm sorry if I sound panicky. Probably need a good pelting with