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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Anyone NOT pushed and had successful labour?

25 replies

wolfhound · 16/01/2011 07:35

With both my previous births I felt no urge to push. Midwives urged me to push, which felt unnatural. Both times I tore (2nd degree, needed stitches).
Pregnant with DC3 now, and wondering whether if I don't push, all will still be well and baby will pop out. Anyone have experience of this?

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hairtwiddler · 16/01/2011 07:37

Yes, felt very much the same as you with dd. Didn't want to pushbut did as was told to, 2nd degree tear. Ds was a home birth. Breathed him out. No damage. It was ace.

PorkChopSter · 16/01/2011 07:42

Yes, three times.

There is some research to show that the 'coached pushing" you describe has worse outcomes for the mother than the mother pushing at her own pace, as it were.

I've had the fetal explusion reflux, where it was like vomiting, that same tummy ripple, but down not up. It was fascinating. And also just a general groan/bearing down, again involuntarily.
I had no control over it, I didn't start and I couldn't stop.

I've also pushed deliberately and consciously & it was completely different.

Original poster

wolfhound · 16/01/2011 07:48

Very interesting. Would like to see that research, porkchop, will have a google and see if I can find it. Thinking about having a home birth this time, which may make it easier to follow own ideas.
Hairtwiddler - what do you mean by 'breathing out' - just deep breathing?

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GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh · 16/01/2011 08:14

There is sone research, can't remember where but it stuck with me, that if you don't feel the need to push your cervix may still have a slight lip over the baby's head that midwives don't always see and they coach you to push which means your working against your body so the bottom part of the birth canal and your perineum haven't had time to stretch, but breathing out allows them to stretch naturally and if they're completely supple baby will just shoot out (presumably the fetal expulsion reflex!).

Spatz · 16/01/2011 08:16

With my second labour I had no urge to push and my body did all the work itself. It was a very quick labour so there was no question of the midwives encouraging me to push. It was fab! Very different to the first labour where I also tore badly.

Loopymumsy · 16/01/2011 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyCandles · 16/01/2011 08:35

Yes, I did. Here is a thread I started, just like this one, that really inspired and supported me.

My first two births were lying down (once semi-reclined on my back and once in my side) I was encouraged to push with both, and I had 2nd degre tears with both.

I think that being upright and relaxed with my third allowed me to breathe the baby out - not in a formal way, but in a being very in touch with what I needed to do way. I was in the birthing pool for only about 10-15 mins before I felt ds comng, so it wasn't that the water softened my perineum. But it gave me enough support to be upright and relaxed, and enough pain relief to be calm and aware of my sensations.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 16/01/2011 08:39

I'm not really sure what happened to me in my second labour. It was all so fast but I don't remember actively pushing. Instead it felt like dd was involuntarily expelled from my body at great speed. Was an incredible thing.

hackneyzoo · 16/01/2011 09:05

In my second labour I had no urge to push, my body did it without me thinking about it. I could feel the muscles pushing the baby out and down and just let my body get on with it. It happened in a birth pool and was very quick, it was a completely amazing experience It just felt like my body was very powerful and I don't remember it being painful, just intense if that makes sense.
In fact very much like porkchop describes in her post!

hairtwiddler · 16/01/2011 09:58

It was a bit like hackneyzoo described. I just felt him being born a little bit more with each contraction. With each one i exhaled through the pain. He was also a quick labour and birth. Less than an hour from when midwives arrived.

earlgreyismynectar · 16/01/2011 10:16

Interesting thread! I too felt no urge to push with DD1 and was coached threatened by the midwife that if I didn't "do better" she'd cut me. Pushing felt alien and I remember having no idea how to. The threat resulted in a fast delivery and 2nd degree tears. I am planning a home birth with DC2 and hope the more relaxed atmosphere will mean a more relaxed birth, I feel confident I won't tear this time. I'm fascinated by the idea of breathing the baby out, sounds like the ideal!

lal123 · 16/01/2011 10:40

with DD2 at start of active labour mws said that it looked like she was "going to be breathed out". At the pushing stage like earlgrey mw told me if I didn't push she would have to cut me, I remember asking "Tell me more about this breathing out thing!" - she just laughed. I pushed - DD2 born - but I had no tears, no grazes - nothing!

Original poster

wolfhound · 16/01/2011 10:42

Great to hear so many similar experiences. Like you, earlgrey I had no idea how to push, and so I was just doing random straining, I think! Am thinking about home birth with a pool and the fact so many people here have had good experiences of not pushing with a pool is an added incentive. Will look at your thread prettycandles, thank you. Both my previous labours have been fairly quick (8+ hours and 2+ hours) so think the chances are that this one will be too, and perhaps no need for pushing.

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blue2711 · 16/01/2011 10:59

Lovely to read these posts as I have never met a mum who has had the same experience as me. In fact it almost seems impossible when I remember it now! With my DS (first baby) I stayed upright throughout, sitting on a ball and using gas and air. Just concentrating very hard on breathing deeply and was really focused. When the MW said the baby was ready to come and did I want to move to the bed I felt very strongly that no I did NOT! I stood up, leaning on the bed and supported by her (and it was lovely because I could hold hands with and look into the face of my DH who was on the opposite side of the bed.) I never felt the urge to push and my MW in fact told me not to; I just felt this intense bearing down which she told me to 'hold' as long as I could and then just go with it. DS came out in just a few contractions all by himself with me just breathing hard all the time. It was wonderful. I was so thrilled and surprised because everyone tells you about the hours of horrendous pushing and I didn't even do one. I think having a newly trained, young and lovely MW made the difference for me; she seemed so open to me doing it my way. I feel quite evangelical about encouraging other mums to experience birth in this lovely way so do go for it OP if you can!

Sparklies · 16/01/2011 14:02

I wish I'd seen this thread 5 years ago when I had DC1. I was told I was ready to push but I did not feel like it, but I pushed anyway. For an hour, whilst the midwife yelled at me for not pushing hard enough (despite the fact I had burst blood vessels in my eyes..!) She also had me on my back and threatened to get the stirrups out too. She even had me push between contractions

After an hour she checked and saw I still had a lip left. After she moved that out the way, DC1 appeared pretty quickly and pushing felt a lot more normal.

I now have incompetent cervix and chances are good it was as a result of pushing so hard against that lip for so long

StartingAfresh · 16/01/2011 14:28

1st baby no urge to push. On further research later I was so exhausted that I was in the rest and be thankful stage and should have been left in peace.

2nd time I had it in my birthplan that I will decide when to push and no-body else, also I refused all internals.

Perfect. Baby swam out when she was ready with very little effort from me.

greenbeanie · 16/01/2011 15:16

1st baby had an epidural so was told when to push and it was awful, took 1.5hrs.

2nd baby, no epidural and no urge to push, baby just appeared, 2ndstage was recorded as 2mins long. Like Blue I had no internals and a student midwife who was very keen for the labour to be how I wanted it to be.

3rd baby had a very strong urge to push and I probably needed to as she was 11b11oz!! 2nd stage was just 8 mins though.

carlyvita · 16/01/2011 15:22

Excellent. Thanks for this thread folks. Very useful. I only know one person that didn't push when just told to and she's the only one that escaped without scars or intervention. There must be something in it!

orangemarzipan · 16/01/2011 16:03

I felt the 'vomiting' reflex thing. I felt no urge to push and would have liked to see how I'd got on without pushing. But DS had the cord round his neck and was getting distressed, so I had to try and push him out.

I think the reflex thing would have worked fine if:

I wasn't bursting for a wee (I didn't realise at the time....)
I could have remained upright (had to get on my back as his heart rate was more stable like that)
a smaller head would be nice next time, rather than one on the top line of the graph!
I wasn't being pressurised to get him out fast

Pushing felt really unnatural to be honest and I wish I'd not had to do it but am just thankful I avoided forceps etc and the baby was okay.

Have a look at hypnobirthing - it teaches that childbirth is a natural process and you shouldn't need to do forced pushing. You don't see any other animals being told to push when they are in labour. Hypnobirthing should also mean you have a calmer, less painful labour - it worked for me anyway.

Original poster

wolfhound · 17/01/2011 08:56

Didn't realise there were so many people who had done it without pushing, and I totally agree with orangemarzipan that animals don't get told to push (and I doubt that women in pre-medicalised societies do/did either).

blue2711 - thank you, I will try! Am going to read up about hypnobirthing and also discuss with midwife at next appointment. Not that she'll be the one there at the actual birth of course, it's luck of the draw whether you get a sympathetic one on the night!

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PorkChopSter · 17/01/2011 11:36

Wolfhound, watch some of the births on <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mybirth.tv/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.mybirth.tv/ - you won't find much coached pushing there.

PorkChopSter · 17/01/2011 11:38

And there's some hypnobirthing births as well.

PrettyCandles · 17/01/2011 20:55

Wolfhound, nobody can make you push. Your birth partner needs to be your advocate: if they can see you do not wish to cooperate with the midwife, and that the disagreement is distracting or distressing you, then they need to take over being strong for you, so that you can concentrate on remaining focused within yourself.

BTW, when I was in the pool the mw wanted me to rise up between contractions so that she could monitor the baby's heartbeat. I did so only once. It felt wrong and I refused to do so again. She told me at one point to push, so I tried. Again, it felt wrong, so I refused to push when she next told me. I was, in fact, extremely unco-operative. Nonetheless my mw remained supportive and attentive. I had never met her before.

CognitiveDissident · 17/01/2011 23:58

I did hypnobirthing with DD2 and breathed her out. It's an amazing sensation;your body takes over.

Original poster

wolfhound · 18/01/2011 08:25

That's really helpful. Both times before, it's felt wrong to push, but I've been worried that if I don't, then I'm risking slowing the birth and damaging the baby. The second time, I actually made a conscious decision to go ahead and tear to do it. It is reassuring to hear that if I refuse, as prettycandles suggests, that it will be okay. I stood up to my midwives about other things (refusing to lie on my back etc.) but for some reason was worried to do it about pushing.

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