friend being told by husband she should get induced on due date!!!

[BlueCollie]

My friend is being told, rather nastily, by her husband that she should get induced on her due date. This is because he is home on leave from Afghan from 2 days before her due date for two weeks and thinks she's selfish and lazy to not have sorted this out. I don't believe that they would do this just to suit him however, he is insisting it can be done. I have tried finding hard evidence of the dangers of inducing when there is no medical reason and the mum is not overdue. Can anyone help? She will be going to Salisbury Hospital so if anyone knows of there policy that would be great. Thanks.

I think they would induce on or after the due date with a partner that is on a short leave for set dates in the armed forces. I have heard of this a few times before.
Of course, ONLY if BOTH of them want this and the mother very much wants to have her DH there for the birth etc. If she is against it then they wouldnt of course.

If she isn't physically ready for labour (good Bishop Score) induction is unlikely to work and there's a strong chance she will need a CS. Are they both aware of this and prepared for it? I think they both need to do some reading and discuss with mw and doctor.

Um, he's an arse.

I can see why he would want her to do it but he is going about it all wrong.

He thinks the mother of his child is selfish and lazy because she can't do what no other woman can do either?

I very much hope his leave is cancelled.

right so he wants her to be induced which significantly increases the chances of her needing an assisted delivery or c-section not to mention the baby becoming distressed, and he thinks she is selfish?

To be honest I think that's something to be decided by her, which she can discuss with her consultant and her husband, but none of her business.

Absolutely see the medical disadvantages, and reasons why she shouldn't, but can totally understand the husband that he wants to see his child before going back to Afghanistan. It's not as he's going on holiday or a straightforward business trip, is it?

A friend butting in and telling her that he's an arse, is only going to put her under more, not less pressure.

What a horrible position to put her in, he surely doesn't understand what's involved. DH was with me when I got syntoed and when I relayed this to him he looked like he might burst into flames. Selfish indeed!

I think that he has absolutely no idea about the reality of induction. My DH might have come up with that idea before we had children, when he wasn't so clued in about these things, so that he could help with the baby before he had to go.

Is there anyway that she can fill him in on exactly what she and the baby are likely to go through if she is induced before she is ready?

Poor woman. And poor baby. I agree that he must have no idea what's involved. For one thing, if the baby's just not ready to come out, induction would mean forcing the baby to have a shorter term in the womb than is best for him/ her. For another thing, obviously, induction is traumatic for the woman and baby, and should only be done as a medical necessity.

I can, of course, understand his eagerness to see his child, but he is being a dickhead about this and should bloody well do some research before harassing his partner like this.

How horribly selfish of HIM. He should be happy with the alone time they can spend together before baby is born and not risk baby and mum just so he can become a dad when he is there, or change jobs and stop complaining.

I think some of the suggestions here of a compromise at 40+6/7 would be a way forward as it's quite likely things would go a lot better then if they haven't gone on their own already. And then make sure he knows damned well that every extra scream she has as a result of the syntocin is on his head and he owes her big time

Compare and contrast to the US where more often than not most women are induced at 40 weeks for no reason whatsoever other than convenience.

what an arsehole!!

my Ex had 3 weeks leave for when ds2 was due before he had to rejoin his ship. he never once sugegsted we force thinsg along. he was worried about the idea that he may miss the birth and not see his baby til it was 6 months old but he absoloutely supported me in choosing to let my body do it's thing.

I was induced at 7 over, eventually had an emergency section at 10 over. they should both be aware that if her body isn't ready, then the baby will only come out of the sunroof!, so if that is something they really want to avoid they will have to let nature take its course instead, that being said, my emcs was actually totally fine, and I recovered well - it was the three days of being induced beforehand that weren't so good!!

Just re-read the OP.

He's due back 2 days before her due date - what if she has the baby before then? I wonder if he's also the sort of arsehole who will blame her for deliberately having it before he was home, purely out of spite and to exclude him?

Squirrel, if she goes into labour early she should just cross her legs and wait for him, obviously. Tsk.

Widowadman - I don't think I mentioned I called him an arse so I think you need to read my post again. PLUS my friend asked me for advice/facts to give to him as she does not feel happy about being induced so I really don't think I am butting in as you state I am!!! If you are going to comment I suggest you learn to read properly before making accusation about me and what I have NOT said!