Hospital Delivery and no childcare some opinions

[lala21]

Happy new year everyone just need some advise from all you lovely ladies out there. I know someone posted just about a week ago but I can't find it so am being dim
Basically I am 36 weeks pregnant with a 2yrs old toddler.

Have no family nearby and sis and mum are making a huge issue of getting a taxi in the middle of the night ( an hour away although we would pay) i suppose i'm not pushing it too much as I knew this would happen.
Just moved to new area so don;t know anyone.

PIL live about 2hrs away but they would come up asap but i know not ideal but they are the organised lot who will head up.

Here is what I can think of to let me get on with it and stop getting wound up. What do you think

In the middle of the night Hubby sticks DS in car with me drops me off and

a) either waits somewhere in hospital with DS
in his pram but can't be in delivery which I understand and would not want

b) drops me off and I get on with it waits for his parents to come up and then he comes to hospital and mum and sis turn up in the day as they plan

It sounds so simple but my family making it an issue or am I being silly and selfish sorry to waste your time but would really appreciate your answers what did you do with other children and no one to care for them

I await any ideas and then will show hubby

thank you

lala I feel your pain as I too have a useless/distant family who are about as reliable as chocolate teapots. We had a DD 4 yrs and no proper arrangements for childcare when I went into labour with DS. DH took me to hospital and actually brought her into the delivery suite (although not actually into my room). The midwives were great and popped her in the TV room whilst DH shuttled back and forth - not ideal but fine.

He did eventually drop her at a friend's but missed DS's birth by a couple of minutes! I'm now 35 wks with DS2 and in a bid to be more organised, we've decided that I will taxi/ambulance to hospital whilst he rings one of the girls from nursery (I'm putting together a list of willing volunteers) to come over to watch both of them so that DH can leg it to the hospital.

I would advise that you put together a similar list - you'll be surprised how many people will volunteer - neighbours, your DS' friends' parents, work colleagues. Nobody will mind doing you that sort of favour even if your family are a bit shitty about it. Hopefully it will shame them into realising how unhelpful and unreasonable they are!

I had to phone the PILs who lived 2 hours away to look after DS1 when I had DS2. I was very grateful that they were willing to go to all that effort. They were happy as it meant they got to see DS2 all newborn and lovely.

If your PILs are willing to come, why not let them. We just waited for them to arrive before we headed to the hospital. If you can't wait, then option B would probably work. Option A sounds like a nightmare.

I am a bit of an overplanner myself. It will sort itself out even if you do nothing. There are probably a stack of people who turn up with children in tow so hospitals will be used to it.

If it was me I would use the PIL's (sound more friendly and no huffing and puffing from them about the middle of the night etc). Your DH can call them as soon as you are in labour and they can come immediately. If they cant then one thing is for sure - your new baby wont wait for anyone in the grand scheme of things it wont really matter.

I had loads of people who I never expected to be on stand by - a neighbour, my childminder, both my SIL's and sister. All of them to be honest I think wanted to be in on the birth and would have loved to have been asked to be my birth partner. MY DH was there but secretly he wasnt great, started bossing me around and telling me what to do as he thought I was out of it on drugs - I wasnt!

Also you might go into labour during the day, or have to be induced (I was and although I wouldnt recommend it it was easier to organise everyone as I had the date and time already booked!).

I would love to be asked to look after a DC while the Mum was in labour.

Ask someone, honestly, they'd be delighted I'm sure

In fact, if you're in Northern Ireland ask me ask me ask me

lol

There you go - I told you how many people will put their hands up!

Especially anyone you know even vaguely who has 2 children so has been through it themselves - I offer myself to be 'on the emergency childcare list' for just about every pregnant mum I encounter, having been left (by a string of unfortunate coincidences) for a couple of days with no potential childcare at all for ds while I was a week overdue! Anyone who's been through this worry themselves will be more than happy to help and will completely understand the middle-of-the-night thing. (and it's exciting!!) (and a good way to get to know people in a new area too)

We looked after a friend's little girl while she was in labour with their DD2 - I was so delighted to be asked.

I can honestly say that if one of my neighbours was pregnant and needed a similar favour I would be so pleased to help out, even if I didn't know them!

OMG

You guys were so quick with your replies thank you I loved your'chocolate teapots' schoolgirl i will have to use in future am afraid.

I mustbemad thanks hon I'm in Kingston Upon thames but a big hug.

Ditto everyone the PIL's are super organised to the point that it well its incredible.

We have PIL and SIL is about an hour and half away, but we are going to go with second options.

In laws up hubby drop me off and wait for them.

Although neighbours are nice too I might just ask no harm done they can only say no.
Conversation with mum this afternoon was all about how exciting it is and Hub needs to be ready to take time off work and me and your father had no one...

Ladies thanks a million and I shall so be offering once things have settled a pregnant lady if she ever needs help.

Thanks again

You could ask your neighbours if they will look after your DS just until the PIL arrive. Depending on how quick your labours are, you could phone PIL when it is apparent that This Is It so they are there before you have to head off to hospital (I did this with my parents when DD was born). Unless you have a really swift birth, it is unlikely that they won't make it.

My mum and dad live a good 40-50 minutes away, I was seven months pregnant when we moved so didn't know many people (and didn't have childminder as older children were school age ), thankfully girl who worked with my husband lived in next street and she was more than happy to be called upon. realised about 6 am I was in labour, hung on until 7 to wake friend (and give mum a ring) got to hospital at 7.30am (truly rubbish time as staff handover) DD2 born at 0834. Mum and dad had arrived just in time to take DS to school (DD1 had lift as usual), I was home by 4.30 - perfect

Good luck